I'm leaving to see my family is less than 2 weeks. I always start getting very anxious and I wonder why I even bother to go see them. I guess out of a sense of duty. But I have to face my mother, who pretends like everything is ok. And I have to see my brother, who can be, and usually is, a huge jerk. Then there's my one sister, who is doing drugs right now. The other two sisters are ok, I suppose, but I get jealous of my sister who has a baby, because you can look at the baby and know it's hers...and I'll never have a child that looks like me.
And it breaks my heart every single time I have to say goodbye to my grandma. I'm sure every single time is the last time, because her health is failing and her Alzheimer's is getting worse.
I'm just ready to be back home, and I haven't even left.
Re: And the anxiety sets in...
formerly VXS
I'm sorry that visiting with family stresses you out. I love visiting my family but I live 3,000 miles away from everyone so it's a treat to take a trip to see them. However, my middle sister is a totally whackadoo who lives in assisted care (she's 50), and if I had to visit her, I'd dread it too, so I know how you feel.
Keep in mind, though, that life is short. Even though your family can be annoying, I know you'd miss them terribly if they were gone, so try to savor the times you do get to see them...and then leave as quickly as possible. lol
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The rest of the crazy family, I sort of understand and I wish I could make you less anxious...
The way you feel with your grandma is the way I feel with my dad. Every single time I say goodbye, I wonder if it will be my last time. Just make it the absolute best visit you can, and even if the Alzheimer's gets so bad she doesn't remember one single face, you make sure and tell her how you feel and that you love her, and leave knowing that you made the most of that time.
Yeah, I enjoy the time as best I can, and then give a sigh of relief when I leave. A least at the end of this trip I get to see some Nestie Besties!
Sorry you are having so much anxiety
Dealing with crazy family is never fun. And sorry you have a hard time with your sis's baby. My H and I felt that way about our BIL's baby for awhile. He and his gf had a baby they just dumped off at the IL's All.The.Time. 5 years later he still does. We were resentful that they had a baby they acted like they didnt even want while we couldnt ever have one of our own. I've now come to embrace and see the positive in remaining CF but cant help but judge his actions quite often.
Yay for getting to see some nesties!
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