Starting Over
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Is this "normal"?
I hate to use the term "normal" bc what the hell does that mean anyway...
Every time I sit and think about the divorce- the finality of it all, the paperwork, the court date, not seeing STBX ever again, selling or getting rid of my engagement ring etc- I get sick to my stomach and super upset. I know that this is the right and the best thing for me to do. And I know Im happier now, but it still sucks so much. Even though he is out of my life as much as he can be now, I guess something about the divorce is scarier. I know that probably sounds dumb...
Re: Is this "normal"?
I don't think there is such a thing as "normal" while going through a divorce. It's hard, it's heartbreaking, it's liberating, it's nauseating, it's happy, it's sad, it's angry....get it? It's a really huge rollercoaster of emotions. What you're feeling is what you're feeling. Don't do anything right now if you don't have to (selling rings, etc) because you're emotional and could regret it later.
What are you doing to take care of yourself through this process? I went to a counselor, talked to friends and wrote about everything that came into my head, just to get it out of my head even for a minute.
((hugs)) You'll get through this!
Well, I agree with your 'what is normal anyway' sentiment and that everyone reacts in different ways but, that said, do I think its normal to be upset about a divorce? YES, of course!
I hated being married to my ex and was miserable, and still divorce was a painful, emotional process for me.
I don't want to return to my stbxh but I do feel sick to my stomach sometimes at the thought of our divorce. Divorce is not pretty so it is okay to give yourself permission to feel the way you do.
Totally agree. I was completely miserable and basically hated my ex husband by the time I filed, but it was still hard and emotional.
Thanks guys
That does help.
I never wanted it to turn out this way, but I also never wanted to marry a pathological serially cheating liar either.
I am running, hanging out with friends as much as possible, and being kind to myself. Case in point- I wore sweat pants and had chinese takeout on Friday by myself and half a bottle of wine. In the past I wouldve felt guilty for not making dinner, or not trying to go out somewhere, or for wearing sweatpants and getting fat on crappy food.
This sounds like heaven! Take care of yourself and allow yourself these moments. I wear crappy sweats or pj pants every night because it's just me and DD and she certainly doesn't care. Do whatever you feel like, and be happy that you don't have to worry about what anyone else is thinking right now!
This 100%. I've been seeing a therapist and talking a lot with friends. It's been really helpful on those days I feel bad. As much as I know I too made the right decision it doesn't mean you're not going to mourn the loss of what your life might have looked like.
More hugs.
Tea Time for Lulu