Weekend boyfriend?

CharacterZero

Is anyone dating someone they mainly just see on the weekends?  Are you OK with that?  I have been dating someone for about 3 months and we spend the entire weekend together, but rarely see each other during the work week (maybe once a week for dinner). 

I kind of wish we spent more time together, but his job is very demanding and long/early hours. 

I know there isn't anyone else or anything, but I feel like the weekends aren't enough for me.

PrettyInPearls23

Are you looking for something more serious? I, personally, would find it difficult to date someone I only see on the weekends. It would make me feel like I'm obligated to spend my entire weekend with them and not make other plans. That isn't too healthy.

becwheat

That is one of the main reasons I am not dating. I feel like the only time I have is on the weekend.

I do not get home until 6 most nights and I have to get dinner on the table and take care of DD... so weeknights are not going to work for me.

I do not feel I have the time for another person in my life right now. Is the work the only reason you do not see each other? Do you live close? Does he (or you) have kids?

This may be a forshadowing into the future. If you were ever to live together he may not make quality time for you during the week. I mean if you don't see each other that much now, what happens when you add other variables to the mix?

pdx18

Only seeing said boyfriend on weekend? That would be fine with me. Spending ENTIRE weekend with said boyfriend? Umm no. I have other things I need to do. I'd be cool dating someone I only see once a week though.

Also how late is late and how early is early? I mean if he was only working until 7 I'd totally give this the side eye. If it's 10 or 11, that make sense. 

arborgold

I think the key part of your post is that YOUR not comfortable with it. Why would you continue doing something you're not personally comfortable with?

D lives about 30 minutes away, so seeing each other during the week, especially once I find a job, would be difficult.  For now, at least, I'm comfortable seeing him only on the weekends, though I think that's likely to change soon for me (and I think it's already changing for him).

EastCoastBride

CharacterZero:

I kind of wish we spent more time together, but his job is very demanding and long/early hours. 

I think you're seeing a snapshot of what your future will be like w/ him if you get more serious/ move in together/ potentially marry.  Something to keep in mind and determine if you can really live like this or not.

LeahMelanieNJ

I would be cool with it, but I wouldn't dedicate my whole weekend to seeing someone.

I have other friends/hobbies/things to get done that I need my own time for too.

 

I work weird hours, so I don't expect to see a guy too much if we get serious. I am ok with that because it just makes the time together more exciting.

FormerlyAK

My situation was a little different, but at first bf and I only saw each other on the weekends and one night a week because of my schedule with DS. DS is with his dad Wednesday nights and every other weekend. That is the time I had available to date, and see bf when we were first dating and I didn't want to introduce him to ds yet. So there were 8 nights a month that I could see bf and hang out with friends. As things progressed and I started sleeping there when ds wasn't with me, I'd make plans with my girlfriends and then go to bf's after. Also, ds and I have dinner with his dad on Monday nights and then he spends a few hours with his dad at my house. Once bf and I were "established" I'd go over to his house (he lived only 5 minutes away) after we ate so ds and his dad could have some alone time.

We are adults. We have a lot going on. We make time to see the important people when we can. And a SO should realize that you have other friends. Even when I'd "spend the whole weekend" at bf's I'd still do brunch with the girls or go for beach walks with my friend and bf would do his stuff. We'd just base ourselves at his house that weekend and come home to each other at night. Make sense?

Alisha_A

You spend the whole weekend together, AND often a weeknight?

That sounds like a lot to me, but I have high personal space needs.

loveslife

It depends what you are comfortable with.  My boyfriend and I live about 50 miles away, and with traffic, it could easily take 1.5 hours to get to each other.  We are kind of forced to only see each other on weekend and once during a week.  We do spend most of the weekend together.

DakotaDangerDog

In the winter I spend 1 day of my weekend snowboarding and in the summer I usually spend 1 day hiking, so that wouldn't leave much of a weekend for dating, so that wouldn't work so well for me. I like my space for sure, but I'd like to see the dude 2 to maybe 4 times a week.

RedVelvet29

When living in the US I travel frequently for work so usually I wouldn't be able to see someone other than on the weekends....and usually I have other plans so right now it's really hard to date someone.

When I used to work tons of hours I only saw my ex h on the weekends in the begining. Eventually he got his own place and it was more like the weekends + 1 overnight a week.  When you are dating a busy person this can happen... you have to decide if you are ok with it. Also is his work seasonal or is he always this busy?

 

starburst604

The lack of time together was I think the biggest contributor to the recent demise of my relationship. We went from spending 2-3 weeknights together and most of the weekends to maybe 1 night during the week and then some of the weekend. It was due to his commitments and it made me feel disconnected from him and not like any kind of a priority. As a result I started feeling whiny and needy. I hated it. We were just not progressing into spending the kind of time together that a couple of 9 months should, in my perfect world. You have to decide if it's ok with you. If it's always been this way then it just may work for you. In my situation, going from spending a lot of time together to very little just caused us to fall apart I think.

marigoldgirl44

This is exactly how my relationship is. We live 90 miles apart. We typically spend all weekends together from Friday after work until Sunday night. If we have stuff to do we do it together or cut our time short. Sometimes we do not see each other during the weekend if we both have things to do. It works for us and I never feel neglected. I do not need a lot of attention and do like my alone time.

Mominator

My question is, ideally, how much time do YOU want to spend with him? I have kids and my BF has kids, so we spend the nights together when we are both kid free, which includes him staying at my house for the weekend every other weekend. Then there are also 2 nights during the week that we see each other. Is it enough for me? Honestly, no. I wish that I could see him more. Honestly though,  we both have other obligations and I understand that, so I take what time with him I can get.

lovelybb

Mominator:

My question is, ideally, how much time do YOU want to spend with him? I have kids and my BF has kids, so we spend the nights together when we are both kid free, which includes him staying at my house for the weekend every other weekend. Then there are also 2 nights during the week that we see each other. Is it enough for me? Honestly, no. I wish that I could see him more. Honestly though,  we both have other obligations and I understand that, so I take what time with him I can get.

Exactly... D and I try to see each other once a week but sometimes it's tough since we're 1.5 hours away and he has three kids. We make it work though. Would we like to see each more often? Hell yeah! We're talking about the next step to make that happen, but in the meantime, we make it work even though it can be frustrating sometimes.

Talk to him and tell him what you want... you'll never know until you ask.