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This is suspicious, right?
Hi! This is my first post here so bear with me.
My husband recently returned from deployment. I was washing his clothes and in one of his pairs of jeans (that he wore while in port) there was an unopened condom, a gum wrapper and a Starbucks reciept. He was with me when I found them and seemed as surprised as I was- then said he let one of his shipmates borrow a pair of pants at the last port. I left it at that but my mind has been analyzing this situation ever since.
My first thought was "OMG HE'S CHEATING!?" but now I'm not so sure for a few reasons. 1. The condom is the wrong size. He's....uh well endowed and the one I found would have been too small. 2. He doesn't chew gum, ever. On the other hand, there's the Starbucks reciept. I know he was there because he Skyped with me using their Wifi. Logic would state if one thing in the pocket belonged to him, wouldn't the other stuff?
I'm not sure what to do/think.
Re: This is suspicious, right?
I'm pretty sure I'd freak if I found a condom in a pair of H's pants from deployment too. But if it wouldn't fit, and he doesn't chew gum ever, then isn't a possibility that his friend also went to Starbucks? Or that they were there together?
Who doesn't chew gum?
If the glove doesn't fit, you must acquit.
Ok, but seriously. Yes, I'd be pist. But do you know his friends? I know all of DH's friends pretty well because I'm the only wife/female they can stand. So I would believe it depending on who it was that borrowed the pants. But nobody knows your H here, so it's hard to say. I vote cheating but I'm a pessimist.
DED
I only know 1 or 2 people from his ship and have never met the person who supposedly borrowed his pants.
I don't really chew gum. Too many years of braces. Plus I think it makes you look like a cow chewing cud.
Also, condoms fit every man. Seriously, all sizes. They can fit over your forearm. I've seen it done. The worst they can be is too big b/c that makes them slip. Not having a peen, I don't know how uncomfortable a snug fit is, but I suspect magnum sizes are mere marketing.
I'd be suspicious. Who lets someone borrow pants?
I found an unopened condom when cleaning out DH's things from SOI. I asked him about it and he said that one of the Docs gave it to him as a joke even though he was married. He kept it because it was funny and a memory from training school.
It doesn't matter what else was with the condom, or how many people tell you that it is normal to borrow pants or not. In the end, either you believe/trust him or you don't.
I wanted to say this, but didn't want to sound like I was talking out of my asss or be wrong. But it isn't wrong. So, OP, good luck with that.
I don't mean to be mean, either. This kind of sounds serious, and that sucks for you. I am genuinely sorry.
I had a condom in my desk for a while. It was glued to a sucker stick and a smiley face was drawn on the clear wrapper.
Sex is for procreation and only married people should procreate.
67/200
They were there for 5 days, if I recall correctly.
How does the date on the receipt correspond with those five days? It could be nothing, but I'd say you're right to be concerned.
Personally, I don't think there's an alternate reason he would have a condom in his pocket that wasn't his. Did his friend ask him to hold it so his own wife wouldn't find it.
Although maybe he's chewing the condoms like gum. There's that option (my apologies of someone beat me to the punch. I didn't read responses yet.)
Edited for my reading fail
I changed my name
It corresponds with the day I had set on my calendar to wake up to Skype with him. They had duty shifts while in port and basically had to stay on the ship every other day. He says he let the guy borrow them on the last day that they were there and he was working.
I feel like there would be some kind of emotional disconnect if he were unhappy enough to cheat on me (not saying that's how it is in every relationship, my husband is just an emotional guy and doesn't hide things or lie very well). I want to believe that he just let some random dude borrow his pants, but the physical evidence is pretty damning in my pessimistic mind.
Are you sure the date is right based on the time of day? I know most times when H is gone we are in opposite days because of the time change. So make sure it's correct that way. But it seems like it would be his receipt if he was there to Skype anyways. I'm leaning towards the condom being his too. I won't necessarily jump right to cheating since the condom wasn't used, but he had it for a reason.
And no, there really doesn't have to be emotional disconnect to show he's cheating. A good friend of mine had absolutely no idea her STBXH had cheated on her during deployment until 6 months later when she found out she had chlamydia.
Fuuucking ew. That sucks.
Yep. And when she confronted him about it the fvucking douchebag tried accusing her of cheating on him instead saying she must have contracted it and given it to him.
this!!! I really hope it pans out. I would be calling his "friend" asap!!!
To know One Direction is to love One Direction
Maybe the receipt is from the first day, the condom and gum are from the last day and neither guy emptied the pockets. Assuming that the OP's husband's story is true.
I know it seems weird for a guy to need to borrow pants, but maybe the borrower is really bad at packing. Seabags can only hold so much and maybe the person only took one set of civilian clothes and only brought shorts. My DH can hardly go anywhere for more than 2 days without needing to buy an article of clothing that he didn't bring with him because he didn't think he'd need it. (I now help DH pack when he goes places in order to avoid this problem)
Edit: Also, if anyone actually had sex wouldn't the condom have been used and no longer be in the pocket? Or am I reading too much into that?
Latex is stretchy yo. When I was on swim team in high school we used to be able to fit a person into a swim cap. It was a coordinated effort but we managed.
Yikes. I'd be suspicious if that were me.
Also, condoms stretch. Maybe that's the only size he could get his hands on overseas or wherever he was, and figured it would do?
This!