So my daughter's friends lost their dad today

mlwooten

I was so conflicted over what to do. I found out before school. One of the twins is in my daughter's class.  I didn't know if I should tell her or wait until tonight after school.

I opted not to tell her because I didn't want her going to school talking about it. Apparently the mom sent the twins to school for normalcy. The twins either didn't know he has died or didn't understand. Other kids were talking about it in class. (I heard this from a teacher. DD is at daycare until 5:00.) I feel awful for this family. So much to deal with..    

Sibil

I went to school the day my mom died.  I knew she was dying, and everyone had actually expected her to die day before, on Sunday.

When she died, the teacher called me to her desk and told me I could come to her for anything.  I didn't quite get what she meant until I pieced it together years later that my dad probably called the school.

Our school did send home notes to parents, and they discussed it in my class and my sister's, using some grandpa has died book (they didn't make kids books for parent death in the mid 80s).  Maybe you could suggest that to the teacher so the conversation isn't all just gossip?

OscarQ

That is so sad.

DoctorSeuss

I for one am none too happy S'always hard to lose your pappy Tell your daughter people die That it's quite okay to cry Death is nature, just like birth In the meantime love this Earth

MNVegas

My heart goes out to this family and I can certainly relate. DH's 33y/o daughter died unexpectedly last summer. She left us 2 beautiful granddaughters, ages 10 & 18 mos at that time. 10 y/o GD very much wanted to keep her normal routine. Her mom died late Saturday evening and she wanted to stay at a friends house that night as opposed to staying at home. She was back at school on Tuesday and also attended her cheerleading practice. She even went to cheerleading the afternoon of her mom's funeral.  18mos GD was enrolled in daycare at the time and her father continued to take her. Of course her teachers were aware of the situation. Every child will handle death of a parent in different ways and we were amazed at how strong our grandchildren have been.

I believe keeping them in their routine with school, activities, and having contact with their friends was very important in helping them cope withthe loss of their mother. 

 

mlwooten

Sibil:

I went to school the day my mom died.  I knew she was dying, and everyone had actually expected her to die day before, on Sunday.

When she died, the teacher called me to her desk and told me I could come to her for anything.  I didn't quite get what she meant until I pieced it together years later that my dad probably called the school.

Our school did send home notes to parents, and they discussed it in my class and my sister's, using some grandpa has died book (they didn't make kids books for parent death in the mid 80s).  Maybe you could suggest that to the teacher so the conversation isn't all just gossip?

 

Thank you for this.  I will definitely talk to the teacher. 

UsedToBeGoldie

so sad.

the teacher should discuss it with the kids for sure - the death of a parent will likely scare many of the other children in class - thinking they, too, will lose a parent.  Parents should have a discussino with their kids at home, too - about death... so they can add in what they believe about it- so the teacher doesn't have to go too deep with questions about heaven, etc. 

prayers for them.

penguingrrl

How sad.

charminglife

Sibil:

I went to school the day my mom died.  I knew she was dying, and everyone had actually expected her to die day before, on Sunday.

When she died, the teacher called me to her desk and told me I could come to her for anything.  I didn't quite get what she meant until I pieced it together years later that my dad probably called the school.

Our school did send home notes to parents, and they discussed it in my class and my sister's, using some grandpa has died book (they didn't make kids books for parent death in the mid 80s).  Maybe you could suggest that to the teacher so the conversation isn't all just gossip?

I think these are great suggestions. I'd also be sure remind the school to inform  every teacher who might be interacting with your daughter's friend about her dad's passing - they should all be prepared in case she gets upset, etc.