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Those who date/have dated "co-workers"
New to dating, especially the banter/flirty whatever part. I have had this little inside joke/fun banter thing going with one of the clerical guys (I am clinical, so we don't see each other too often) in the department. One day like a couple months ago we had a small convo at work and I gave him the nickname of "the devil" I can't remember why - and the other day when I had to ask a clerical question he said that he almost signed it "the devil" but didn't know if I would remember, and more fun witty banter with a "maybe grab a beer" comment thing from him.
Anyway - I have noticed no ring, but have no idea of his relationship status, no idea if this is flirting or just fun not work talk. So I threw myself out there a little bit and sent him a quick non-work devil comment email to see if something comes back. It's not an uber crush or anything - but just a fun little thing that maybe could lead to just a date which would be fine right now.
Anyone have experience with this type of thing? I feel like the weirdest newbie on this one. I don't even know what normal life flirting is lol :P
Re: Those who date/have dated "co-workers"
I dated- and married- a coworker. There ended up being a TON of drama with another girl (who was upset that we were dating, and started spreading rumors) and they ended up moving him to a completely new office. It was fun, sure, but LOTS of drama as well. Which I guess is to be expected in an open floor plan office with 500 women and 10 guys (1 I married, 7 were married, 1 was gay and the other was sleeping with every one).
As it happened, XH was a HUGE flirt, which I guess is how I noticed him, but when he moved to his new office, I later found out he never ever wore his ring and flirted with everyone. And ended up sleeping with several of them. Thanks, coworkers in the other office, for telling me all this AFTER I separated from him.
I'd ask around to the people you are friendly with that have been there the longest- they probably know if he's just a player, a good guy, married, etc.
I met my old FWB this way.
We tried to keep is a secret, but somehow everyone knew. :::shrugs::: It didn't cause much drama because he later changed jobs.
They see us rollin'...they be hatin'.
I had a BF for two and a half years that was a co-worker. I worked at a law firm and he was the IT guy in our office. I had a crush on him immediately and we started off as friends in the office (had lunch with a big group of co-workers every day and talked when we saw each other). At some point, I bit the bullet and asked him to come to a party I was having and he came. From there, we hung out as friends for a bit and then we started dating.
I think we did a very good job of keeping it professional at work. Most people didn't know we were dating for quite some time, but eventually everyone did find out because it was a small office. It wasn't a big deal since we didn't regularly "work" together. Yeah, if I had a computer or technology-related problem he'd be the one to help me, but it wasn't a big deal.
I'm not with this BF anymore, and we don't work together anymore but I still consider him a friend and we keep in touch. Thankfully, by the time we broke up I wasn't working there anymore so there wasn't any weirdness in that way.
If you like him, I say go for it. There's only one way to find out if there's something there. Since you don't see him a lot in the office, I'd say it wouldn't be a big issue (unless your company has a strict policy regarding co-workers dating). Just keep it professional while you're at work.
In college I was a manager at a video store. One day this beautiful girl walks in and applies for a job. I hired her because she was a knockout (I know, flame away). We started dating 3 weeks later. We tried to keep it a secret but eventually peeps found out and I was transferred to a different location.
We were married 12 years and had 4 amazing children together.
I also say go for it!!
At my old jobs, plenty of guys asked me out. I used to make a joke that if I had a dime for every guy from work who asked me out, I'd have $1.40.
Most I didn't date, for various reasons. I eventually dated two - one guy who was in a completely separate divison of the company (separate wing of the building). It didn't work out but never got to the "hot and heavy" stage.
The other was DH. We were in the same division. We have been together 13 years (married 11)! People were mostly happy for us. The only drama was one girl who was ALSO dating someone from the company - her boyfriend (older, divorced) would not propose, and she was jealous that dh (then bf) was so open and loving about our relationship. I heard plenty of comments about how "she likes to be professional," etc. (she was a glorified clerk).
I will say - - I always thought when I dated DH and it was serious and out in the open, that I didn't like my job, and I wanted to quit, anyway. So I was willing to leave my job (happy to have an excuse to leave....) if things didn't work out with dh and turned ugly. But it didn't work out that way. In fact, being with dh made going to work that much more pleasant!!!
Typing this out will make me sound like a hoe...but, I had a FWB1 for 1.5 years. We worked directly together and it was a little tough after awhile. Especially when I met my now DH and he lived long distance so FWB1 thought he could take advantage of the situation (didnt work). FWB1 and I had ended a few months earlier but they always want what they can't have...FWB2 was someone I would have never dated seriously... but he was a great distraction. We worked well together after and we are very good friends to this day. FWB3 was a drunked one night stand. He was CIO at my company and it was a major mistake.
Looking back, I would never do it again. Good luck to you!
Ready for a cliche? I was a 23 year old admin who was sleeping with a doctor...
It was as close to FWB as I ever had because it never got serious. We were not seeing other people, but we both understood it was just a short term thing. At least that is what I thought...
He actually got attached. I was surprised cause I thought I would be the one who would get attached. Anyway it became very awkward for a while. He wouldn't even say hi to me in an empty hallway.
I dated a co-worker in my department. No one knew until months after it ended and someone saw us chatting together at a work function and standing closer together than most people would normally.
There is nothing wrong with having a drink with someone. He isn't your superior or inferior. You aren't even in the same department. I can't imagine that there would be much of a problem.