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Is there a good reason I should delete this?
advice
I'm 27, I've been married to my husband going on 4 years. We met in college when I was 19. I have cystic fibrosis, however I'm really healthy. When we got engaged the issue of having children came up. I didn't have a good childhood and my relationship with my mother is always a challenge. I never really thought about having kids b/c of my disease and the way I grew up. He definitely wanted a family so I met with my doctors to see if it would be possible and they gave me the go ahead. I never told him that kids were a definite, just that it would be open to discussion and a possibility but that was all i could guarantee and he was okay with that.
Fast forward a few years, he was in school for his masters and we were living in a small condo. The topic of children would come up occasionally, but I was definitely not ready yet and told him that. A year and a half ago I decided that if we were going to stay together that I would have to have a child, even though I wasn't 100% sure this was the best thing for me. But I love him and rely on him for a lot of things, and our relationship is near perfect, so I decided that I should get some counseling to deal with my own mommy issues so that I could feel comfortable with having a kid of my own.
About a few months in to my counseling... my husband began having an affair with a young girl at his work... who just happened to have an infant child. The affair continued for 4 months and he told me he was leaving me. I didn't find out the reason why until her ex-boyfriend messaged me on Facebook and I finally found everything out.
We decided to try and make things work...well he actually took about a month to decide he wanted to try...and a year later we have a really strong relationship and everything is pretty "normal."
Except that now we are nearing the end of a short sale, and need to figure out the next step...except the thought of having a child with him is absolutely terrifying. It sends me straight into a panic mode. The trust that he has built back up just goes away and I'm afraid he's going to cheat again. There are so many complications that could happen because of my health and I'm scared about that too. I used to feel that I would be safe and taken care of but I don't think like that anymore. If I tell him that I don't want kids, he will for sure cheat again or just wait til he finds someone else and leave me.
On the other hand, I could have his baby and he could never cheat again and we could live happily ever after...
so I guess my question is... what should I do? stay or leave?
Re: Is there a good reason I should delete this?
Well, you know, one time years and years ago (possibly the first year there was a Nest) I re-posted something that someone had deleted and I happened to have in another window from, like an hour beforehand. There was all kinds of uproar, and I had no idea because I'd gone back to my Knot home until one regular (sibby, if I remember correctly) popped over to the Knot and said something like "um, this isn't like you to repost something someone took down for legal liability reasons".
Apparently the Nesties who were lawyers advised her to take it down for her own good, rather than her taking her ball and going home, and because of stupid work I missed it all and thought she was just a big beebee. I felt pretty bad about that.
How young of a girl are we talking here? If she's legal, then I see nothing atypical here. Well, beyond a chick thinking it's OK to have a baby against her will because it might keep her husband from cheating on her again.
(Spoiler alert....it won't!)
Is it my imagination or did she DD her replies too?
Weird.
Yup, and their children. But no, she really did want objective responses. Okaaaaaay...
No, she did. Because I said, "Really, recognize your name? You have two posts." and she deleted it.
She sure did because I replied to this thread questioning just how "self identifing" this post was.
Here's a hint, none at all.
Click me, click me!
Saw that one a million miles away!