Sex & Romance
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Routines?
Ugh. This morning DH and I did the deed, in usual fashion.
Please tell me I'm not alone here. It seems like we always end up in the same predictable routine: we head to the bedroom, he goes south, yadda, yadda, yadda, then hammers one out -- 12 minutes tops from start to finish. Nothing triumphant or creative -- just enough to get the job done.
I can't decide whether we've become highly efficient or extremely lazy.
Re: Routines?
Communication is key.
Have you and he discussed your sex life?
If not, I suggest you do so, if you are not happy with it not being up to par.:)
Do so outside a bedroom setting --- sounds like you guys fell into a sexual rut. You're a couple, not a a couple of machines.:)
As a couple, investigate "how to DIY" manuals for couples --- mainstream book stores sell them.
You might also try spicing it up by jumping in the shower with him or inviting him in with you.:)
There's nothing wrong with what we've got going on; it's still wonderful, just the condensed version. It just occurred to me that what once occupied hour after blissful hour has somehow been cropped to fit inside 10 minute window... and I'm seriously dumbfounded as to how I let that happen. Do sex lives really evolve like that?
I feel like I sprang for the $35 buffet at the Bellagio but couldn't pry myself away from the dessert section-- in the end I'm satisfied but I can't help but wonder WTF I just missed, if that makes any sense.
So if it's wonderful, by all means accept it as it is.
If you came here to talk about it, you're not happy with it.
It's up to you to take the wheel on this. Like I said, talk to him.
Sometimes we get stuck in (for lack of a better word) predictable ruts. It happens. I think it's just par for the course when you're with the same person for a long time. Sometimes I get anxious about it and that it means we're bored with each other. But then one of us tentatively brings it up during dinner or "The Big Bang Theory" one night and it's such a relief. Then we talk about if it's a serious problem or just a phase, and we usually buy sex toys or lingerie or try some new kinky thing out and we're good.
I think talking about it is the first, best step.