Open Letter "Tuesday"

Staza424

(Yes I am a day ahead)

 Dear Co-irker,

 You better believe I am documenting our conversations and taking screen shots of all of my work when I am finished with it. When you complain at 4:45 that *I* screwed something up, I will have a binder full of evidence proving you wrong.

Signed,

I'm probably putting too much work into proving you wrong

 

 

Dear Weather,

Please be 70 and sunny on Friday for opening day. Last year was the first year I missed it in 5 years, and having a beautiful day would make it up to me. 

Love,

A girl who needs a little more sunshine in her life

 

Staza424

Dear Mitt Romney,

I am NOT voting for you, so please, please, oh please stop calling. Six times in 4 hours is a little excessive and may be grounds for harassment.  I haven't actually googled it yet, but really. C'mon,man! Even when my ex-bf pulled that sh!t I went to the cops and got it to stop.

Not cool, Mitt. Not Cool.

 

Otterama

Dear Body,

GTF with the program. It's not the right time to be sick. Let's get better by tomorrow, mkay? Thanks so much! :::smooches:::

Love and Girl Scout cookies,

The chick who needs to feel better now

 

 

Dear Taco Bell,

Thank you for always being there for me when I don't feel well. It doesn't matter what I'm sick with-I crave you when I don't feel well and you fully answer that call.

I love you.

Love,

The girl who can devour a whole Big Box Meal in minutes

luckybride513

dear aunt flow

thank your for showing up, your aprils fools joke on me was hilarious

but maybe next month you can put a word into my eggs and have them work so i dont have to see you for a while, but please don't replay this message until I get back from Vegas

 sincerely

luckybride

 

MayFlowers22

Dear Professor,

Thank you for all the lovely homework I have to do over spring break.

Love,

Your Agitated Student 

lexxasaurus

Dear 4:45 a.m.,

Please don't come too fast. I'm not used to this schedule yet, and there are too few hours before you arrive.

Love,

The girl who prefers not to be a zombie

simplyinpenguin

Dear EDD,

Please accept my soon-to-be-most-likely unemployment and enjoy my log of detailed inactions, actions, and illegal behavior of my boss. Hopefully I'll get the unemployment instead of his lawyer.

Sincerely,

Anxious for 4 pm

Dear friends and family,

I get it. All right. I get the fact that I need a new job. I know this. Constant reminders are only bringing me down over the fact that I've still have yet to land that elusive entry-level job to get me the eff out of the place. But whenever my boss does something that really upsets me, I really want to vent because if I can't, my only other option is planting one in his face.

Signed,

Disheartend and Underemployed

Dear, Student Loans

For the love of all creation, answer my email. You told it me it would be a few days to process my request for auto pay and to send my payment my usual method. I did. Next day I get an email saying I was approved and that it would start this month. Helllloooo I just sent my payments. I cannot afford a quadruple payment. Please stop my autopay until May!

Desperate,

Broke a$$ woman

PSU_Grad

Dear Raymour & Flanigan,

Please arrive with my replacement chair (that is not lopsided) on the early side of the window you gave me (9AM-1PM).

 

Graciously,

PSU (the girl who cannot concentrate while working at home and is 100x more productive int he office)

OrangePixyStix

Dear FB Timeline,

I see you creeping, and if I wanted to "learn more" or get it now then I would have done so months ago.   I was told you would just take over my page weeks ago, but I'm kinda glad you haven't.     You suck and I don't like you.

Go away,

Happy FB user

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear prescription pills,

I know you are doing good things to fix my health issues, but can you please quit giving me the night sweats?   I have resorted to putting a fan directly on me but it's ridiculous to have to change my tank top in the middle of the night because it's soaked from sweating.    This is the reason I hate popping pills, but unfortunately I don't have a choice right now, so stop it! 

Signed,

Not so sound sleeper

Milsey32

Dear Drug Test Place -

DH came in last Tuesday to pee in a cup. YOU were the one that cross contaminated DH's pee and made him come in on Thursday. The nice thing to do would be making his top priority! Why haven't you worked on his yet? A potential employer is waiting on YOU to possibly hire him. Ugh

Sincerely,
MH needs a job and you're getting in the way

gregslittlewifey

Dear Person Campaigning on the Corner by My House:

I am deeply sorry for rounding the corner and splashing you with a huge puddle. I did not see you there. I also have no idea for whom you were campaigning, so maybe you should get a bigger sign.

Me

Wine Enthusiast

Dear SIL

I am beyond displeased to hear you are creating fake drama less than a year into your marriage to my bro.  Livid does not even describe how I feel that you've chosen to blame me for what I'm assuming were your infidelities, which you think you can mask with these ridiculous lies.  Don't drag me into something you didn't actually want to confront because I wont tolerate your lies about me and you shoulda known that. Avoiding me after you told my bro he had to come to me with this is a huge mistake.

And FYI- your own choices are the only thing that can cause problems in your marriage so the sooner you realize that and fess up to the real issue, the sooner you can be happy in your own life.  Grow up already.

Signed,

The fired up person you will regret dragging through the mud

skippingstones

(I'm still rolling from GLW's)

 

Dear swiggly line in my right eye.... (oops..family guy ).

 

Dear Freezer,

 

Please stock yourself. I do not want to go to the grocery store at this time of the month. WIC and foodstamps came through yesterday and I want to try to avoid all the screaming children that I can. I would appreciate if you drove my car to HEB, bought our groceries and put them away in yourself for me so I don't become a homicidal maniac driving home. Thank you.

Yours Truly,

The one who opens you the most.

 

 

Dear right knee,

Quit hurting or I'm going to punch you.

Sincerely,

The girl who needs you to walk 

conradtn

Dear CPAs,

I'm sorry the tax information we sent you didn't have the proceeds totaled at the bottom. Please don't call me to add it for you, when I'm sure you have a better calculator than I do.

Sincerely,

Stressed out tax person whose eye has been twitching for 3 days

LizO11

Dear memory,

Please come back. I don't know what happened, or if I left you sleeping in the bed this morning, or what, but I would like for you to please rejoin me. So far I have forgotten my phone (at home), my bag that I need to bike home (in my husband's car), and my wallet (not sure, probably also in the car). It's not even 9:30 am, this is too much fail for one day.

Signed,

Your forgetful self.

PSU_Grad

conradtn:

Dear CPAs,

I'm sorry the tax information we sent you didn't have the proceeds totaled at the bottom. Please don't call me to add it for you, when I'm sure you have a better calculator than I do.

Sincerely,

Stressed out tax person whose eye has been twitching for 3 days

That is hilarious, Con!  Lazy POS's!

OrangePixyStix

Dear Linkin Park/Incubus summer tour rumors,

Please be true and please come down to my city!   If the Foo Fighters keep dragging their feet on scheduling a Texas show, then a concert with the both of you together sounds like an excellent consolation prize for my summer concert needs.     I guarantee at least 4 tickets purchased, if not more. 

Please and thanks,

Concert Goer

 

PiLife

Dear coffee,

Thank you.

Forever yours,

Pi 

shorty20

Dear Dentist,

Please don't tell me that I have TMJ when I see you this afternoon.  I'm almost sure that I have it, but I don't want to have it

Love, unhappy person with a popping jaw

Dear Thursday,

Please get here fast!  I have off Friday and the hubs and I are going away.  I wanna get my arse out of here!

Love, tired worker who just wants to get away

sessionswedding

Dear support person from India who was supposed to call me at 9:30 Central but can't figure out time zones,

You missed it. I'm still waiting for your call.

Yours truly,

Annoyed IT worker

conradtn

PSU_Grad:

conradtn:

Dear CPAs,

I'm sorry the tax information we sent you didn't have the proceeds totaled at the bottom. Please don't call me to add it for you, when I'm sure you have a better calculator than I do.

Sincerely,

Stressed out tax person whose eye has been twitching for 3 days

That is hilarious, Con!  Lazy POS's!

He was dead serious too!

conradtn

PiLife:

Dear coffee,

Thank you.

Forever yours,

Pi 

 

MarriedName

Dear H's Knee,

Please don't be a serious injury - I can't take another one of us on crutches for any length of time. 

Sincerely,

Gimpy enough for both of us