Starting Over
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Just had an in depth convo with a man (friend) about cheating...
I work in a field where cheating is very common. If you polled most guys at my work they would think cheating was NBD, same of the women. As others said, there are good guys you're just looking in the wrong places. I have a lot of good guy friends I feel confident would not cheat, my dad was faithful to my mom, and dh has ended friendships with people who cheated because it made him uncomfortable.
Keep working on this in therapy for sure. You don't need to find a hundred guys who won't cheat, just one.
When I first met my XH, he had told me his best friend was his older brother, B. B was constantly cheating on his wife and, I later found out, XH was even helping him cover his tracks, at times. Was it any surprise that XH was cool cheating? Nope....I agree with birds of a feather.
I'm sure that 80%-ish of couples who end up on the rocks and in therapy do indeed have infidelity involved. It's good to keep sampling error in mind.
Add me to the list of people working through trust (and also intimacy) issues with their therapist right now. We had a majorly eye-opening session yesterday, so I am deep introspective mode right now, which is why I have given this some thought. I don't think that most men cheat. I know many, many men who have not cheated. That said, I also know plenty of people who have either cheated or been cheated on, to the point that it is sort of discouraging to me.
I was cheated on, and I have not yet left my husband, although that is my plan. I am finding through the wonders of therapy that I am really in the place where I am afraid to leave because I am worried about being alone. I NEVER thought I felt that way until this happened and actually fancied myself a confident, independent woman. Ha. Turns out I was mistaken.
Anyway, when my therapist tries to talk to me about my next relationship, I really shut down. I don't know that I will get over it for quite a while, so what you are saying really resonates with me. When I am worrying about this, however, I look at all the people on here who have moved on, as well as people who I know in real life who have successfully done so, and that does give me hope.