Porn "snooping"...

cja106

Silly question....I'd LOVE to know what kind of porn my husband watches, but he ALWAYS deletes the history.  Is there ANY other way to find this out?? 

kellbell1919

Ask him.

blush64

kellbell1919:

Ask him.

This is the best idea. I think people in a relationship should be able to discuss this fairly easily.

uskydive2

lol of course  there are ways.  like a key stroke logger or ANY of the commeric l  computer monitoring  software.  I would be careful  because of  various laws but I am in  network security so...

cja106

I am def not as computer savy as you...please tell me more!  What is this key stroke logger??

JacklovesSarah

I just asked.

nerdyone

kellbell1919:

Ask him.

This exactly. OP don't be sneaky about it, if you want to know then just ask.  What if he finds out you were snooping?  Don't you think he would be pissed?  I sure would be! 

jadeorchid21

kellbell1919:

Ask him.

Simple, sweet and straight to the point. 

melloch

Some people are totally against it, but possibly try offering to watch some with him. I know there are a million studies about how bad it is for a marriage.. blah blah blah, but DH and I once in a while watch it together, and it can be fun. I am a firm believer in encouraging my DH to be as open as possible with his fantasies. Doing this makes our sex life pretty great. Just a suggestion:)

fit654

I agree with watching together, and while I have read to the studies that say porn can be bad for a marriage, I have seen studies that show that couples that watch together are typically more satisfied. Makes sense, if you can watch it together and share fantasies you are more likely to be fulfilled than if you hide things and are sneaky with your partner..

fit654

But on the other hand, realize that some of the stuff he watches might weird you out a bit.. when I found my dh was looking at women in their 40-50's who were overweight occasionally that made me feel weird as I am in my 20's and very slim. But remember sometimes it is just stuff they quickly come across, or may be looking at partly because it is weird/different not so much because it is a turn on.

uskydive2

just as it sounds. it logs  all the key  strokes  covertly. take a  cruise  over  to cnet/ download.com or techrepublic

MarissaY

My husband and I talk about our porn interests pretty openly - I think asking him (even if you're not comfortable/willing to watch with him) is a great first step. It might even spice things up!

DawnMarie11

cja106:

I am def not as computer savy as you...please tell me more!  What is this key stroke logger??

THIS is a bigger problem in your relationship than his porn, no matter what kind it is.

ediblesprysky

DawnMarie11:

cja106:

I am def not as computer savy as you...please tell me more!  What is this key stroke logger??

 

THIS is a bigger problem in your relationship than his porn, no matter what kind it is.

Agreed!!!! Honesty is the ONLY thing that will make a long-term relationship of any kind work. It actually makes me wonder about your motives for wanting to know--do you want to know his sexual fantasies and preferences in order to explore them with him, or to make sure what he looks at is "normal," whatever that standard is for you? If it's the latter, I think you need to examine your priorities. What men look at in porn is not necessarily representative of what they want or expect in real life, and there's no reason to be freaked out by it. I'm sure you already know that he doesn't expect you to tan until you're orange and get huge fake tits and bad hair extensions. Similarly, it doesn't mean he's dissatisfied with you if all he looks at is hardcore bondage and what you do is fairly vanilla. It just means it tweaks him in a certain way. It doesn't mean he wouldn't try it in real life, but it also doesn't mean he doesn't enjoy sex with you. I know a lot of women feel differently, but I promise you, if you think about it this way, your life will be SO much easier and more peaceful because being open about what both of you want is the only way to get it.

That said, if it's the former, it could be a good way to start a dialogue with your husband about your sex life. Be sure to frame the question in positive terms so that he doesn't feel like you're going to judge him. Most guys are wary of showing significant others their porn because women are "supposed" to disapprove of it, so just reassure him you're not going there, and he should come around. Enjoy the benefits, if it works out

PremierMot

How old are you?

daltonchelsea

Why does he delete his history? My husband and I had a HUGE issue with porn. Not the kind, but the fact that he did it behind my back just to hurt my feelings and then lied about it. Why do you want to know? Do you want to watch it with him? Just curious what he likes? Ask yourself why you want to know first. Then if it is a good reason, ask him.