Decorating & Renovating
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Moms who post pics of their kids on the toilet
Holy moly. Totally inappropriate. I'm sure parents think potty training and all that is cute and noteworthy and worth, perhaps, documenting in photos. But I totally don't think toilet photos are okay to disseminate to the rest of the world.
And, yes, I will unfriend you on FB for such a thing.
/rant
ETA: Here's my thing, there are sexual predators who love pics like this. Even if the kid's glory isn't showing, these are the things that sickos love to find. Regardless of your FB settings, once it's out there in the world... it's out there.
Re: Moms who post pics of their kids on the toilet
I also don't need to know the state of their cervixes.
TTC Baby #2 - BFP on 12/14/11 @ 10DPO - CP confirmed 12/18/11
BFP #2 on 1/13/12
I've never even taken a picture of my kid on the potty, and we have like 2 bathrub photos and both have a washcloth draped across her.
Yuck.
I completely respect your stance on this. I would LOVE to un-friend someone for posting the things they do...but I can't : Things I find unacceptable to post on Facebook about your baby:
* Details on breast feeding
* I repeat, there is no...I said NO....reason to ever discuss "your pump"
* Details on potty training and especially NO PICS!
* Details on poop or "wee wee"
I have no problem unfriending for stuff like this. Even my own sister, whom I adore.
The closest I ever got to doing that was hiding them from my news-feed....I had to out of pure necessity.
Like a breast pump? Why do you feel people have to be all hole-and-corner about something like that? If I didn't have a community of other moms to ask, I totally would have asked what to do on FB if my breast pump suddenly broke. Do you think that because it has to do with boobies people should just keep quiet?
In forums that are Mom specific....of course! I'm referring to Facebook. What about Moms sending a group message? It's not on a news feed that way.
I'm almost 30 so it's not like I'm scared to read something about "boobies." I'm just saying I don't necessarily think it's something that has to be broadcasted. I don't want to hear about people's breast milk on my news-feed. Like on the nest, I would expect to see something like that. It's not uncommon and is welcome and expected.
We can agree to disagree....obviously, I don't want to cause major flames in here from the Mom's.
We'll miss you sweet Debbie Girl (4.21.12) and sweet Cindy Girl (8.9.12)
Exactly, I mean someone who works is hooked up to the bloody thing for hours a day. Are people allowed to post about their cars?
I get the impression she is talking about status updates. I exclusively pumped for 8 months. I never took pics or posted about it on my feed. Not hard. In other forums, sure, but not for the world to see.
We'll miss you sweet Debbie Girl (4.21.12) and sweet Cindy Girl (8.9.12)
Ditto.
Eh don't worry about it. Some people just aren't comfortable with breastfeeding details of others. Even I've been uncomfortable with an acquaintance busting out her entire breast to feed her kid at the dinner table. No shame. I thought it was a little weird, and I've breatsfed before. Some people just have different discretions. I didn't say anything or make a big deal about, but I'm not going to lie, I thought to myself "Really, like....right here in front of everyone at dinner? Ok then....weird." So sue me.
Perverts can be anywhere, heres a wonderful sampling from my county!
Elementary School Vice Principal
Middle School Teacher
Random Citizen
Yeah I get that your kid learning how to use the potty is great, congrats on no more poopy diapers. And yes your little girl is adorable with her soap bubble beard in the bathtub. But realize even though someone might not be your friend doesn't mean that they can't get ahold of pictures of your precious child. By posting pictures on facebook, you give facebook the right to use those pictures, you have also shared them in a public manner which is searchable. Just something to think about.
I get it too. There's a difference between posting for every Tom, D!ck and Jane you've friended (hello, bossman and the gal who sells me candles!) and asking a forum of people who know about it. I mean, there are now ways to make lists so that you can make it go to a direct group of people, but I would be mortified if I posted about some in-depth information that my FIL could read. (note: My FIL thinks a computer is something you use only to clock in at work and get Family Circus cartoons on, so he's not on FB. Or, as he calls it, the FB.)
(I am LMFAO @ the Nest censoring a name lol.)
TTC Baby #2 - BFP on 12/14/11 @ 10DPO - CP confirmed 12/18/11
BFP #2 on 1/13/12
This is another thing. Do people really want that level of detail being that visible?
Eh, I don't agree. I once posted a pic of my son on his potty on facebook. I thought it was cute because he grabbed a book and was sitting on his little froggy potty reading. No private parts were exposed.
I don't friend anyone on facebook who I don't know in person, and the picture can be viewed only by friends.
I respect that some parents are very private about their kids and get nervous about posting a pic on the internet. I just don't share that same fear, and think it's super judgy to impose your view on everyone else. Pervs are everywhere. They could hang out at the beach and take pictures of my kid in his swimsuit without me knowing, then take the picture home and do disgusting, creepy things. However, that's not going to keep me from taking my kid to the beach. I'm going to enjoy my child, take him to the beach, and take cute pictures of him in nothing but a diaper and share them with my friends.
I have no problem with facebook pics of infants or toddlers in the bathtub, on a potty, or whatever, so long as private parts are covered. Children are innocent, and there is nothing even remotely sexual about these pics. It's also very common to see half naked babies all the time. They are on tv commercials, packages of diapers, bottles of baby wash, etc. If it is a horrible thing for people to see a picture of a near naked baby because some freak could possibly be attracted to the picture, then are all of these companies and the parents of the babies used in the ads doing something really terrible?
If someone else doesn't want to take pics of their kid in the bathtub, on the potty, whatever - fine. Their kid, their choice, and their business. But to judge me (or your facebook friends or whoever) and think that I'm doing something terrible as a parent for posting a cute, innocent pic of my kid is ridic and super uptight.
There are some things that I agree with here. Your son's pic show less than what was in the photo I saw. *I* don't think the pics are gross or sexual. But there are sick folks out there who do. You are naive to think that pics posted on FB are private between you and your friends. I have a close friend whose pics were innocently copied from FB, posted elsewhere, and they ended up on a site known to be trolled by pedophiles. Her young son's pics got over 500 hits in one day before she was able to get the photo taken down.
This child that I am speaking of happens to be one of the most precious children in the world, especially to me. I was one of the first to hold him in his life; I have cared for him; I have nurtured him and his mother through some tough times. I don't think it's okay to post a pic of him naked on a toilet. And it's my right to say something to the person of which I am speaking, someone who is close to me. I am a mandated reporter as a teacher and responsible for thousands of children over the years. I am totally uptight in this regard. I have witnessed more child abuse, rape, and sick sh!t than I ever care to admit. Anyone who mistakes my uneasiness for anything other than caring is totally out of line.
I am a mandated reporter as well, and given my field am pretty sure I could put the sick sh!t I've witnessed up against your experiences and win handily. Doesn't mean you're right and I'm wrong. Everybody has their personal comfort level. Chill.
yeah agreed. I mean I'm a mom, but I don't care about how your new pump is so powerful, the pic of your kid at the boob and how he pulled down your shirt at the mall, etc.
My IF blog
Yeah, I mean, I'd find constant updates on bridesmaids dresses or drunken feats of partying boring, but that's Facebook. And if they were actual friends and this let me keep an ear in for how their life is, then I welcome it. Even if all it makes me do is remember not to ring said friend at 9am on a Sunday.
Go Phils!!
I do think your heart is in the right place and you are well intentioned. I also don't think that it's impossible for my facebook pics to ever become public. It's still not a big concern for me.
I feel pretty certain that I've seen more child abuse than a person in their role as a teacher. I'm an attorney and a large part of what I do is in child welfare. For several years I represented CPS in abuse and neglect cases, and then I started representing the children. I have seen vile, evil things that would make you want to vomit. I've interviewed the physicians, listened to the forensic interviews of the children, and looked at the photos and medical reports, all giving extreme detail on disgusting things done to kids. Trust me, I know what abuse looks like.
The thing is, the abusers are not strangers who find a pic online and then hunt down a particular kid to molest. That is the stuff of lifetime movies or the freak thing that ends up on the news. These creeps may look at pictures online, but the kids they actually abuse are their relatives, neighbors, kids in their church, the kid they babysit. I wish protecting my child were as easy as not posting a picture on Facebook. But the reality is that when it comes to sex crimes, the strangers aren't who I really need to worry about.
Again, I respect that many people are very careful and wouldn't post a pic of their kid on the potty or in the tub due to this concern. We don't have to all agree with that for our own kids, and not being as concerned about it doesn't mean we are bad parents, misinformed, or don't know much about the horrors of child abuse.
I will also note that the concern about sexual predators is entirely different than someone simply thinking that a photo or status update is TMI. I think the potty pic of my kid was crazy cute, but can see how someone else would think that anything potty related is TMI. I personally can't stand posts with details about potty training, like, "Yay, Katie pooped in the potty!" I could really live without info about other peoples bowel movements. However, this is simply a pet peeve, not a judgment about a persons parenting and certainly not something I'll unfriendly someone over.
Im on my phone, so there may be some really stupid typos in this post.