this whole thread is making me irrationally angry

Heather R

They won't let men watch their kids. I understand being weirded out by finding an unfamiliar person as the caregiver, but I cannot understand being more weirded out by the fact that it is a man. Eta: not just at church, no male babysitters, etc.

http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/1/64980366/ShowThread.aspx

Eddy1

That is just plain sad.

The one reason we liked our daycare/preschool so much was because both men and woman worked there. And from our experience, the men are hands down the more popular teachers with the kids. They are more lively, involved and carefree. They are more likely to actually play with the kids where the woman just supervise. Obviously having a boy I am grateful to have another example for my son of men being caregivers.

mlwooten

Ugg. And to think I let men (along with women) watch my kids at ski school and their swim instructors are guys. **clutching pearls.**

Carmen0328

Clicky please? I'm on my phone.

This is one issue that really pisses me off, and I'm bored at work. Maybe I can get banned today! 

CatLawdy&

Haven't read the thread, but I have a male friend who was forced to change seats on a plane b/c there was an unaccompanied minor next to him.  Flight attendant said it was policy not to seat kids that were flying alone next to men. I forget what airline it was.

Found this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Airline_sex_discrimination_policy_controversy

 

mxolisi

CatLawdy&:

Haven't read the thread, but I have a male friend who was forced to change seats on a plane b/c there was an unaccompanied minor next to him.  Flight attendant said it was policy not to seat kids that were flying alone next to men. I forget what airline it was.

Found this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Airline_sex_discrimination_policy_controversy

 

Are you kidding me?  Even if that's the policy move the kid, not the adult who has done nothing wrong. 

laurenpetro

i think it's ironic that people are totes OK with church daycare people, be them male or female.  my friends' daughter was killed by her babysitter, whom they first met when she was working at the church daycare center.

lanie30

a) I dropped off my infant daughter at the church daycare pretty much every week. On two occasions I dropped her off, skipped service and read/napped in my car because I just needed a break.

b) I like the girl who says that male caregivers creep her out. My husband is a nurse. WHAT A CREEP!

Onomatopoeia

I think I've posted this before, but I know women who would not let their kids go to a friend's house for a play date if it was just the dad at home.  Even if they knew the parents. This was especially frustrating when DH was a SAHD dad for a year.  These moms would fall all over him telling him what a great dad he was, how nice it was to see a dad take such an interest in raising his kids, etc., but ask little Johnny over for a playdate?  Nope.  Not even if mom stayed (which apparently would open up a whole other can of rumor mill worms, 'cuz obviously a 2 people of the opposite sex can't have play-dates with their children).

hawkeye+

CatLawdy&:

Haven't read the thread, but I have a male friend who was forced to change seats on a plane b/c there was an unaccompanied minor next to him.  Flight attendant said it was policy not to seat kids that were flying alone next to men. I forget what airline it was.

Found this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Airline_sex_discrimination_policy_controversy

 

What.the.**.

jenniloveselvis

I get feeling uncomfortable leaving your kid with a stranger but I think we've all read / seen the news to know that children aren't necessarily safer with women. That's such a naive and frankly dangerous attitude to have. There are bad men, there are bad women. There are stupid men and there are stupid women. Of course you need to be cautious with your kid(s) but you need to use common sense as well.

lanie30

I like her excuse "well I didn't know he had any background checks/screening/education/was a father." NO? Hey even I asked that at my church. YOu get a little hand out, I introduced myself to the person in charge and asked what she was going to be playing with/doing during the hour and then said "thanks a bunch."

 

huber22

Heather R:

http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/1/64980366/ShowThread.aspx

Mjmksb04

Totally side eye-ing the "oh it would be okay at a CHURCH daycare."

Pumpkin30

Mjmksb04:

Totally side eye-ing the "oh it would be okay at a CHURCH daycare."

I think the comment about more religious men harming children than non-religious men is a little better.

I have to fight my overprotective instincts a lot. Leaving my kiddo with a stranger, male or female, is a big issue. Leaving my kid with a trusted maled caregiver, not an issue.

Vanessa Doofenshmirtz

The whole "men as child predators" thing is ridiculous. And it implies a letting of one's guard down with regard to women, which is dumb since the only child molester that I know personally is a woman.

This is unfounded, but why do I think this same type of person (OP) wouldn't want a son to have a doll? My youngest is proudly crashing his doll stroller about this moment. Real men change diapers. Truth.

MarynJoe

When watching our infant/toddler niece, DH didn't want to change her diaper, look when I showed him her diaper rash, help her go to the bathroom, put cream on her rash, or dress her.  He was so afraid that it would make him look like a pervert or something.  He never wanted to watch her alone.  He loves her more than you can imagine and she loves him just as much.  That is really sad.

huber22

I'm more concerned with the one-on-one. Honestly, I work with kids, and I get concerned about being in a one-on-one situation, and I do whatever I can to minimize those situations. I don't care if it is a male caregiver or a female caregiver. Bad things can happen in both situations. Heck, most of our babysitters are family members, and even though I trust them 100%, I still know that bad things could happen.

And LOL at the mothers who aren't concerned because they have boys and not girls.

pugznploons

that is really sad, yet not surprising.

I know some churches screen the nursery workers (background checks and all that) and at others they don't.  Some churches want all parents to volunteer in the nursery/sunday school as a way of giving back for using those programs for their childcare needs.  So essentially, it's parents from the church volunteering to watch their own kid + others.  Not usually single guys with no kids back there watching the kids.  I wonder if that would make a difference to those ladies or not. 

emisi

Pumpkin30:

Mjmksb04:

Totally side eye-ing the "oh it would be okay at a CHURCH daycare."

I think the comment about more religious men harming children than non-religious men is a little better.

Yeah, because religious men have NEVER harmed a child.  You know, like priests and altar boys.  

Religious or non-religious, I think it's totally idiotic to say you'll never leave your kid with a man.  There are plenty of men who love kids and love caring for kids (in a non-creepy way!) that shouldn't be discriminated against. 

MKESweetie

This topic always makes me irrationally angry too. And sad.

sippy_cups2

Vanessa Doofenshmirtz:

The whole "men as child predators" thing is ridiculous. And it implies a letting of one's guard down with regard to women, which is dumb since the only child molester that I know personally is a woman.

This is unfounded, but why do I think this same type of person (OP) wouldn't want a son to have a doll? My youngest is proudly crashing his doll stroller about this moment. Real men change diapers. Truth.

You're right. That's totally not something I would ever do. 

J+MS

t watley:

Vanessa Doofenshmirtz:

The whole "men as child predators" thing is ridiculous. And it implies a letting of one's guard down with regard to women, which is dumb since the only child molester that I know personally is a woman.

This is unfounded, but why do I think this same type of person (OP) wouldn't want a son to have a doll? My youngest is proudly crashing his doll stroller about this moment. Real men change diapers. Truth.

You're right. That's totally not something I would ever do. 

LOL!

iris427

lanie30:

a) I dropped off my infant daughter at the church daycare pretty much every week. On two occasions I dropped her off, skipped service and read/napped in my car because I just needed a break.

b) I like the girl who says that male caregivers creep her out. My husband is a nurse. WHAT A CREEP!

My husband teaches Spanish to preschoolers every week.  He is obviously not to be trusted!!  

Oh and as soon as I saw that post title I thought of you, Lanie. 

brideymcbriderson

huber22:

I'm more concerned with the one-on-one. Honestly, I work with kids, and I get concerned about being in a one-on-one situation, and I do whatever I can to minimize those situations. I don't care if it is a male caregiver or a female caregiver. Bad things can happen in both situations. Heck, most of our babysitters are family members, and even though I trust them 100%, I still know that bad things could happen.

That's not unreasonable.  My church has a policy that requires there to be three people present when a minor is involved, whether it's a minimum of 2 kids & 1 adult or 2 adults & 1 kid.  One adult + one kid = not allowed.

pixy_stix

::head desk::

Any position of trust (sunday school teacher, youth group leader, nursery worker, vbs volunteer) in our church you have to have a background check. I've probably signed the release half a dozen times in the time I've been at the church. There are some dads that are really active in the sunday school portion. I find it sad that there may be people who don't want to leave their children there because of the simple fact that they are male.

Our DCP often has her husband (valid substitute for her daycare) watch the kids while she goes to the doctor, etc. He's awesome. I can't imagine not trusting him to watch my kid. I can't imagine living with that level of paranoia.

MKESweetie

brideymcbriderson:

huber22:

I'm more concerned with the one-on-one. Honestly, I work with kids, and I get concerned about being in a one-on-one situation, and I do whatever I can to minimize those situations. I don't care if it is a male caregiver or a female caregiver. Bad things can happen in both situations. Heck, most of our babysitters are family members, and even though I trust them 100%, I still know that bad things could happen.

That's not unreasonable.  My church has a policy that requires there to be three people present when a minor is involved, whether it's a minimum of 2 kids & 1 adult or 2 adults & 1 kid.  One adult + one kid = not allowed.

Same here. I teach Sunday School, and it can be in PITA to find a second person for every week, but we have a strict "Two Adults" rule for any church related activity involving kids. 

 

ringstrue

i ditto the one-on-one thing.

brideymcbriderson

MKESweetie:

Same here. I teach Sunday School, and it can be in PITA to find a second person for every week, but we have a strict "Two Adults" rule for any church related activity involving kids. 

I actually sometimes do have to do it by myself (small congregation), but we make sure that we are never alone with a single student.  So me + 5 students is OK, but me + 1 student is not.  Two adults is preferable, but minimum of 3 people is required.

taratru

People make me effing crazy.  It's one thing to be wary of "strangers" (even that makes me roll my eyes) and quite another to be afraid of the MAN.  My God, I'm glad I'm not that paranoid.

KJmashup

Twatlet, you're giving your kid the geigh whether you leave him with a male caregiver or let him play with a doll. Stop it while you still can.