Relationships
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Resolving Conflicts

Any tips to resolving conflicts when one person avoids the other person by not talking and completely avoiding even carrying on pleasant conversation ?

My bf of three years made a comment while we were finishing up shopping in walmart that offended me. I asked what he said again and why he thought that. He had no reason for saying what he said. I checked out and ignored him until we got out of walmart. He was pissed immediately and as per usual avoids me until I approach him to resolve the conflict.

He is in the wrong and I feel like he doesn't recognize that. Any tips to solving the conflict when the other person is avoiding?

Re: Resolving Conflicts

  • dump his petulant azz.

     

    I'm fabulous.
  • I've had issues in the past with people letting an argument go/acting like everything is fine when he/she feels better. I've found the only way to work it out for me is to say straight out, "I want to talk about what happened." If they don't want to in the moment because of anger, then give a time line. "I need you to talk to me about this before we go to bed when you feel ready" or w/e. This way the person doesn't feel cornered and has time to think/process when they are ready, but your needs of dealing with it are also met.

     

    As far as making him be the one to approach you about it - well you can't make him do that. All you can do is tell him how you feel and explain why it bothered you. 

  • Are you like that with everyone?

    Just him?

    Couples counselign.

    f.k.a.= Derniermot
  • You're in the wrong too and should also recognize that.  When your BF does something that hurts you, you need to let him know right away.  I don't know what the comment was, but he might not even realize he said it, so when you gave him the silent treatment he's just thinking "why is she being such a biitch"  and his own anger builds.  You need to be straight with him right away "when you say things like that it hurts" don't give the silent treatment and then bring it up after he gets mad at your silent treatment, that's not fair to either of you.  Don't assume he should know why you're mad at him if you don't tell him. Even if you think it's obvious.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Try yelling and throwing things.
    image
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