Sex & Romance
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
How often do you typically have sex a week (newly-weds)?
I only ask because in the midst of full-time work, doing my MBA, balancing family, friends and life...we haven't had much time for sex lately. Sometimes 1x every few wks or maybe even once a month. And we haven't even been married a year! We love each other, and enjoy flirting, going out with friends, or even date nights. I think it's just a combination of me being tired often and both of us putting on some weight. (we're not overweight though, i'm like a size 4/6)
The point is...how often to you typically have sex a week? I want to do it more but I don't feel like I know much of what I'm doing... like I know when he orgasms but I don't always get there.
Re: How often do you typically have sex a week (newly-weds)?
Sex always varies in a relationship. Our average is about 2 to 3 times a week but this month has been so busy for us that we have only done it 3 times. I also work full time and go to school full time. I have no fear that this is only a dry spell and we will be back to normal in no time. We are also newlywed of six months but we have been together for 5 years and have had short dry spells in the past.
Correct me if I am wrong but i assume you were a virgin when you got married? If you have never orgasmed i would recommend you get to know you own body by yourself. How is he suppose to know what gets you there if you don't know how to get there yourself? Also, just because your husband is done getting his does not mean he can't help you get yours. If my husband finishes before me he makes sure I get there too!
not married, but engaged and living together for almost a year now, and on average it is every day. sometimes we go a day or 2 with out, but then there are days where we do it 2-3 times. We just have very similar sex drives and neither of us is ok going more than 2 days with out it, even if we have had a disagreement (those usually get worked out in a day anyway)
we both work full time, he works 5 hours or more of over time per week. we both tend the house, the cooking, find time to work out, fish, go out with friends, i just finished one masters, and just got accepted into an MBA program so will be starting another.
we just make time for it. either right when we come home or before we go to bed, on the weekends when we wake up.
We're also newly-weds and coming up on our 1st anniversary this summer. When we first got married we had sex once a day, and as time went on it became less and less frequent. At the moment we're at 2 or 3 times a week. I'm not upset with that, it's life. He works full-time, on night shifts, and I'm in college and working as much as I can during the day.
I don't mean to sound preachy, but now that you're married you should be able to talk about EVERYTHING freely. If you feel like you'd like sex more often, tell him that, and talk about when would work best for y'all and your schedules.
I agree with everyone else. Sex life changes, sometimes more sometimes less. When we first got hitched and moved in together I freaked out when we went from having sex every day to 2-3x a week. I worried that something was wrong. DH assured me nothing was wrong, he just doesn't need it all the time.
Now I concentrate less on quantity and more on quality. I'm sure as long as you are intimate in other ways you two are fine. If you're both happy why worry about "what is normal". If you want it more you either need to initiate more often or talk to him about it.
My hubby and I have been married only 5 months and we too are finding it difficult to have sex on a regular basis because of our demanding jobs and I'm in school. We find that we have sex atleast twice a month and this worries me, especially since I came into our marriage a virgin. Everytime I have sex, because the time frame is so long, I always feel like he has to break me in again and again and it hurts.
The best part is, we communicate our concerns and let it me known. Does it always change, sometimes no, but we know that it's a work in progress.
Hearing that some of you are not very happy with your sex lives, whether you are having sex a few times a month or a little more, if you are unhappy with how often you have sex, it is important, in my opinion, to do something about it. My husband and I were each others firsts, granted we did not wait for marriage, but I remember all too well what it was like to be a virgin and be trying to push past the sometimes painful sex.
As for being too busy, My husband owns his own business, I work full time and am going to college full time, so I know how hard it can be to make time for each other when both of us are busy. One of my dear friends is a Sex Therapist, and she always tells me and all of our other girlfriends that if you have time to watch tv, read a book or chat on the phone with a girlfriend, you have time for sex.
My advice, quickies quickies quickies! Have sex whenever you can! If you are not used to doing this very often, it may seem like a chore at first, but after a while I almost guarantee your libido and sex drive will be much MUCH higher. I know my marriage is better when we have regular sex. We feel more connected, we fight less, and are really able to tackle problems together much more easily.
As for the poster who is having trouble reaching the big O, if I were you, I would take some private time to experiment with a vibrator, dildo or another sex toy. See what it takes for you to "get there" and be able to share this with your husband. I'm sure he wants you to orgasm just as much as you do. Many women cannot achieve orgasm through penetration alone, and often need some kind of clitoral stimulation.
Ok, best advice my BFF gave me when I was in a similar situation: schedule sex just like you schedule other stuff in your life. I know that sounds completely not romantic (lol) but it really helps. Two practical things we did that helped:
(1) We actually send each other outlook invites with silly titles like "Hot Dog Dinner Tonight". We have agreed to commit to making it happen--no excuses.
(2) We got a subscription to bedromchemist.com. they send you intimacy gift sets every month so again, no excuses.
Good luck!!
Make a pregnancy ticker
Everyone is always different, so it's hard to compare yourself to others.
My new hubby & I have sex atleast 5 times a week, sometimes everyday. But we both have a high sex drive & have been this way our entire relationship. Even if it's just a quickie while our 3 year old is asleep, we make it a point to show eachother that affection.
My FI has been living with me for over a year, dating about 2 years total, the wedding is next year...and the first few months it was 4ish times a week, but since before he moved in, and before we were engaged...we are lucky if we go through 1 box of condoms a year! And yes, we always use them. So there are weeks sometimes that we dont have sex. But we dont feel it is is problem at all in our relationship. We have talked extensively about it, talked to doctors and professionals, tried to change it, but finally decided neither of us have particularly high sex drives and there is nothing wrong with infrequent sex. We have a great relationship, very loving, very active, very busy...so we dont get upset about the sex. We sleep next to each other every night, cuddle all day, kiss, hug...all the normal stuff. Sex shouldnt define a relationship and it shouldnt break a relationship. Everyone has different sex drives. Sometimes things like birth control or medications could be killing the sex drive, or being over tired.
I would stress too much about it. Talk to him about it, consider talking to a doctor or therapist, but dont let it ruin an otherwise good and healthy relationship.
You suck so bad as a spammer. How many usernames have you had? Nice try though.
We signed up for bedroomchemist.com and they take $250 out of our checking account unauthorized each month although I've asked them to stop. Bedroomchemist is a horrible company.
Also, the toys are flimsy. One broke off inside my butt and I had to get it surgically removed. Never ever trust bedroomchemist.com.