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This is an AE...I need help.
I've hit the lowest low, and I can't deal with it anymore. I need serious help.
I have a serious food addiction. It's so bad. I lie to everyone around me about what I eat. I will go to the store at 2 in the morning if I have craving. It's normally sweets from the bakery department of our 24 hour store. Cake, cookies, doughnuts, pie...I will eat all that I can in one sitting, and what I don't eat I find places to hide. I hide food in cupboards that rarely get used, in my car, in the oven, under my bed, in my desk etc... I am out of control. I can't seem to help myself. When I get that craving, I will stop at nothing until I get it.
I want to stop. But I can't control my appetite. I know I need therapy, but I can't afford it, there is no way.
I'm 5 ft and pushing 240 lbs. I can barely breath when I lie down at night.
So now that you know the backstory, the main thing I wanted to ask is, what is the best appetite suppressant that you've found to work? I know there is no miracle pill, and pills really aren't the best way to go. But I need to do something to get my appetite under control. Please help.
Re: This is an AE...I need help.
I have a serious sugar addiction. One cookie and a latte turned into TWO cookies and a latte. I just couldn't eat enough.
I think most important is getting to the root of the problem. Do you have sresses in your life? Is there an emotion that triggers this.
No doubt sugar is a legalized drug so there are addictive effects in and of itself but I think there's also emotional! Well it is for me.
I think getting equipped with a nutritionist would be a great tool and truthfully the biggest appetite suppressent.
Great tea is a great appetite suppressent too.
I would recommend going to Overeaters Anonymous. It is free.
two years!
after two losses, now happily expecting baby #1 09.16.12
Brie Fit Blog | BFP Chart
Well, the more sugar you eat, the more you crave it. Go to YouTube and watch 60 minutes clip on sugar. I had a sugar addiction and for me what worked was going cold turkey for 3 weeks. I had brutal withdrawal symptoms, just like a drug.
Here is a link to my whole story...
http://lauren-onestepatatime.blogspot.com
I don't have any real experience with this, but it sounds like you really do need professional help. Do you have health insurance? Have you looked into what it might cover? If not, are there any state/local programs that you could turn to?
Wanting to get a handle on this is commendable, but I'm not sure an appetite suppressant is the ticket. Even if I knew of one that was safe, effective, and available OTC (which I don't), it would only deal with a symptom of the problem, rather than the problem itself.
In the meantime, do you exercise? Spring is a really nice time of the year to start a walking program (and that's free!) to burn some calories.
I hope you're able to get some assistance with this. Good luck to you.
I'm sorry that you're struggling with this. I found that by going cold turkey on sugar (I did it for two months) I no longer craved it as much. Now I eat it again, but my taste/cravings have definitely diminished and I'll be satisfied with much less.
I really think you should look into overeaters anonymous as PP mentioned, as well as weight watchers. And of course, you should visit your doctor (and therapy would help immensely? I would find a way to make that happen).
There is unfortunately no magic pill? weight loss is HARD WORK. It's a constant struggle, but it's worth it.
Honestly, I think you have a couple of different things you need to address. Your relationship with food is not healthy (but you know this). As pps have mentioned, you have an issue with sugar which is a bad, bad chemical. And you are slowly killing yourself with your weight and habits and your sense of shame.
I agree that there's enough going on here that you would benefit from something like Overeaters Anonymous. You should also talk honestly to your doctor - they may have good suggestions for you and they will know you better than random internet strangers.
Do you exercise? For me, exercise is the habit that helps all the other health habits to fall into place. And I'm not alone in this - it's what is called a 'keystone' habit and people who exercise eat better and spend less money (in general, not food-specific $) than people who don't. I exercise and track calories and yes, I eat sugar, but I control it - it doesn't control me.
If you can, go for a walk tomorrow. Just 20 minutes. It will be a start and it will help you to look after yourself in all kinds of other ways. And look up overeaters anonymous meetings in your area. You don't have to go, but just knowing when and where they are might be a good first step. Good luck. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.
Thank you for your responses everyone. The trouble is I am a SAHM and get bored. DH takes the vehicle to work so I don't have a way to get around. We do not currently have HI except for our Son.
sugar and fast food/delivery food are the biggest issues.
Point blank, I am a hot mess. I have severe anxiety/depression issues that are going untreated, my teeth are rotting out of my head because of all the sugar, I can't find a job and I fear it's because of my weight. And I continue to do all of this to myself because A) I can't seem to say no to the cravings, and
I have so much going on in my life right now I simply don't care anymore.
I may DD this. I'm not sure. I hope you don't think ill of me if I do. This is something so personal and I have NEVER admitted any of this to anyone before. I am so ashamed.
You're making excuses. No car? there may be an OA meeting you could walk to (which gets in some exercise). SAHM with DS? Take him with you! Too much going on to do any more? Well, doing "more" by way of addressing your issue is the kind of thing that will help, not make life harder. How much better would you feel if you were starting to take steps to get your life back?
I won't think badly of you if you DD this. I think it took a lot of courage to admit it here, but I also hope you'll take one more step tomorrow. Do ONE SMALL thing for yourself.
You're not going to solve this overnight. But you get to choose: do you want to be a day further away from health this time tomorrow, or do you want to be one day closer to getting better?
I think they might be a few of us that could write your story.
I'd say that you need to seriously see yourself in your future as the person you want to be. Say, "I am a person who is..."
After a lifetime high weight of over 265, I can say now that I am sugar free, gluten free, flour free, processed-food free, artificial sweetner free, and my BMI is in the healthy range. That's a lot but it did not happen overnight.
I did develop a reaction to too much bread product, so that was a trueism for me. And perhaps a starting place. I did give up all flour products, and that took care of a lot of sugar, too. I slowly gave up other things so get where I am today.
Your health will improve when you stop putting toxic food in your body. When you make a decision to get healthy for your son and family, you will feel so much better. You might want to start with no fast food. Don't have factory madeup food in the house, only real farm food. It will take some thought and planning, unlike mindless eating, but you can do it. Do it for you. You are important and you are needed and you can do it.
You can do anything you want. You just have to start.
You can pm me anytime.
Can you drive YH to work so you have the car? I was off work for six weeks and without a car and in that short period of time I started feeling depressed feeling I couldn't go anywhere. At least having the car available helped me feel better knowing I had the OPTION (I browsed Target, didn't buy anything, but got out, looked at stuff, then renewed my love with the library). Plus, overeaters anonymous might have meetings close enough to walk. I know the church by my house and the community center a bit farther away both have meetings, maybe it's the same for you?
You need to find a way to get yourself health insurance so you can get to a doctor and get treated for your depression and anxiety. Does your DH's job have benefits you can opt into? I would cut all sorts of corners to be able to have health insurance. If your money situation is not good, I would suggest posting your budget on the Money Matters board for assistance. They are great at helping you find ways to make things work.
It sounds like your depression is at the root of this and I think you need more serious help than what this board can provide. Don't be ashamed to post here--we all have had our struggles, believe me--but you need to be cared for by medical professionals right now.
two years!
after two losses, now happily expecting baby #1 09.16.12
Brie Fit Blog | BFP Chart
Ditto and you might want to see Robert Lustig's popular lecture "Sugar: The Bitter Truth," also on youtube. I was inspired to quit sugar altogether after watching that.
It sounds like you really need a significant break from sugar and simple carbs (stuff made from flour). Sugar *is* the appetite stimulant in your case. There are plenty of online resources and books that offer tools and techniques for overcoming sugar addiction. Off the top of my head, there's 21 day sugar detox on balancedbites.com http://balancedbites.com/sugar-detox , books by Nancy Appleton and Julia Ross. If you're not ready to quit, at least start by being knowledgable about what's at stake.
I wrecked my teeth with sugar (and every other thing you can think of that wrecks teeth - I did it). It is possible to get a handle on tooth decay and put a stop to it. It's a disease process that only gets more costly and painful with time if you allow it to continue. Same goes for diabetes, heart disease, cancer, etc. You're putting yourself at greater risk for all of those things. You might also find that removing sugar from your diet will stabilize your mood. There are really a lot of benefits to be had once you make the decision to quit and follow through.
GL - this is no simple task.
This. I got it out completely and the first month.. lord I wanted oreos more than I wanted my H. lol! But now I just.. have no cravings for it.. I look at anything with added sugar and think, "eh..". Your body craves it because it knows it and it's probably a comfort food for you.
You CAN retrain your body. We all have had to do that with different things. My favorite stress foods are chips+sour cream and oreos. I haven't touched either in months nor do I want to. I don't allow the stuff into the house at all to make sure it's not in my eyesight, I don't walk anywhere near those aisles when I shop, etc. (I, too, used to midnight crave and race to the store at ungodly hours).
A lot of the PPs have some great advice, but I just wanted to let you know that we have all been there at different levels.
Whatever you do, don't forget how beautiful you are. Your heart is warm and caring, you just need to treat your heart well physically, so that it can continue you be kind to you emotionally. It's not an easy journey, but many people have overcome worse than where you're at. If they can do it, you are just as strong and can do it too.
Thank you all so much for your words. Please know that I hear each and every one of you. It's a lot to take in, but I hope to lurk around here and get some great motivation and tips through doing so. Again, thank you so much!
2012 Races: 3/18 Shamrock Shuffle 5k; 4/14 E.R. Race for Autism 5k (PR! 25:58); 6/9 Riudoso Sprint Triathlon; 6/24 Chunky Monkey 10K; 7/29 Cochiti Lake Olympic Triathlon; 9/16 Chips & Salsa 1/2 Marathon; 10/21 Duke City 1/2 Marathon; 12/2 Rock & Roll 1/2 Marathon in Vegas!
You mentioned that you can't afford health insurance right now, but maybe you should look at it this way: the money you're wasting on sugar-filled foods could spent on getting you the medical help you truly need, instead of feeding your addiction. I know plenty of health insurance plans that don't cost much more than a latte per day would cost. It will help you a lot if you change your perspective.
And a pp mentioned driving your H to work so you can have the car. I think that's a GREAT idea. If your H isn't too keen on it at first, then suggest a compromise of 2 or 3 days a week at first, instead of everyday. See if that works for you, and then go from there.
Lifestyle changes take time, but they're worth it.
my currently-reading shelf:
<a href="http://s6.photobucket.com/albums/y212/coastiemeg/?action=view
You need professional help. Look into your community health centers, which can all be done online. Look at what services they offer. They are usually run by your city or county or even the state. You could also do a Google search of "free mental health services your city/county." You could also try calling some of the larger mental health facilities or hospitals in your area (mental health hospitals often offer outpatient services like a regular mental health clinic). Sometimes they will offer free counseling. Are you a veteran? If so, have you checked into what the local VA Medical Center or CBOC offers?
I also think the pps suggestion of Overeaters Anonymous is a good place to starty.
Southeastern Cycling
My Nest Bio and Cycling Advice
I agree with everything the other ladies have said......start small but you need to start. Being able to come forward and admit you have a problem and that you need help is step on so congratulations on that!!!!
IMO Overeaters Anonymous, getting exercise, and working on getting health insurance should be the first priorities. Doesn't your husband have insurance through work? I know that sometimes it may seem that you 'can't afford it' but it is soooooo important that you AND your son have medical insurance. Once that is taken care of you can get to the DR about everything and the dentist.
Another thing that may help...............and this may sound harsh, but I'm just being realistic.......have you thought of what your son is going to learn from this behavior? I don't know how old he is but we all know kids pick up on things from a pretty young age. I'm sure you want to be teaching him healthy habits and I think NOW is a good time to start this no matter what his age ;-) Daily exercise, eating healthy, are all things that are a lifestyle you'll want him to adopt!
I wouldn't suggest replacing one addiction (sugar) with another (caffeine). Not sure if that was what you're implying by saying that, but that's how I read it.
my currently-reading shelf:
<a href="http://s6.photobucket.com/albums/y212/coastiemeg/?action=view
You've gotten a lot of good advice. I just wanted to say that I hope you stick around. You can do this!
I'm sorry your going through all of this, but I hope you find the strength to come though it all.
I've been in a place where we didn't have insurance for a few years. It was really hard, and I know it's not as simple as some people have suggested of just re-prioritizing your budget and getting insurance through your DH. Neither my job or DH's job offered insurance. I'm grateful that we both have insurance now. Look for a place that offers sliding scale fees, if you need help with this, let me know and I'll be happy to help you search one out, I use to work for a place like this. Talk to your local health department, they should have some good suggestions for you.
I think over-eaters anonymous would be a great start, maybe they will have an evening meeting, or you can get the car from your DH one or two days a week to make it work.
One suggestion I would have is to own your eating. You made a great step in posting here, but I think it would be beneficial to write down everything you eat, or even take a picture of everything with your cell camera before you eat it.
Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle!
April 2011 CP @ 5 weeks
I really think therapy or OA is your best bet, but if that's really not an option perhaps you can get a bit of help from some of Geneen Roth's books. I haven't read them, but I have heard excellent things, particularly about "Women, Food and God."
If you speak to someone at OA maybe they can help you make arrangements to get a ride with someone?
Cinnabun and Junebug say, "Go Wildcats!"