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How to get puppy to stop nipping and jumping at kids?
Ugh, lets start by saying i've had a really crappy night. Just for fun i'll vent...a client at work thought I was pregnant (i'm not), supposed to get out at 7:30, didn't get out until 8:30, helped euthanize a mans cat while he sobbed hysterically, was in the room when a dog was diagnosed with lung cancer, and fielded phone calls from a woman whose husband died two months ago and her dog has been doing poorly for the last two months..she sounds ready to have a nervous breakdown, and I don't blame her. Throughout all of this my husband is texting me telling me the dog is awful and if he doesn't shape up in a week he's getting rid of him...
This is where you guys come in, help me! He is a five month old puppy, not sure what breed, he was a shelter pup but on the larger size (60 pounds so far) and he doens't know how big he is. He is constantly eating everything, chewing everything and nipping and jumping at my kids (ages 5 and 7). They are afraid of him and want nothing to do with him at this point, neither does my husband who has never been a dog person. My husband will take him for walks when schedules permit but lately the kids sports schedules and my work schedule has prevented a lot of free time. This part of things is totally our fault, we need to find the time. Its made more complicated that I just had to start taking a pretty serious medication taht i'll be on for the next six months (assuming I dont have organ trouble while on it b/c its a pretty bad med), it has left me not feeling well.
I enrolled him in doggy daycare today, he starts tomorrow. he'll go two days per week (all we can afford and really thats stretching it). I also take him to work one day a week with me when he can play with other dogs. In case you haven't figured it out I work at the front desk of an animal hospital. I've looked for obedience classes but we live in the middle of nowhere and so far i've only found one and they only have one night of classes and its on a night I work.
How do I get him to stop nipping at my kids? They dont help b/c they see him and scream and get all upset, which gets him excited. I have tried yelling at him, putting him outside (he then jumps on my front windows ripping the screens or chews our deck), put him in the crate (makes me feel bad when he's sitting in there whining) He has toys and will play with them occasionally but not for long. I can't trust him alone for a minute. He's either going after the kids or eating things...socks, counter surfing for food, rugs, etc. I haven't had a puppy for 15 years, and that was a sickly mastiff who I was told wouldn't live to be a year. Through a lot of medical intervention, money and love he lived to be 7! But b/c of his medical issues he never acted like a typical puppy, i'm lost here!
Any suggestions would be welcome! Please dont' flame, i've had a crappy night already. I'm trying to make this work and doing whatever I can. I'm really hoping the two days of daycare and one day at work with me will tire him out and mellow him when he's home. I'm also going to make some phone calls to a trainer that we have worked with at work who comes to your house. Problem being he's VERY expensive but i'm hoping he might give me a discount since we refer clients to him.
Thanks!
Re: How to get puppy to stop nipping and jumping at kids?
You absolutely have to get him some training, asap. Yelling at him when you've never taught him how you want him to behave is unfair and isn't going to do any good. And if you don't walk him every day, it's no wonder that he has a ton of pent-up energy. I don't mean to be harsh, but honestly it doesn't sound like you were even remotely prepared to have any dog, let alone a puppy, and it doesn't sound like you can afford even the basic necessities like a trainer. Why would you add a major responsibility like a pet when time and finances are so tight?
Day care should help him work off some energy, so it's good that you're taking him there. If you have a good dog park, that can help too. Or if you know a bunch of pet owners, you can bring him for visits with other dogs and have people bring their dogs to your house. He probably needs supervised socialization anyway, so that's a good way to get it.
Then, unless he has any unusual behavior issues, training should get him the rest of the way there. But training is as much for you as for the dog (it teaches you how to teach him), so it's going to take a lot of effort on your and your DH's part, and you're going to need to find the time to make it a priority. And even with training and day care, he's going to be energetic and need training reinforcement for some time - that's how puppies are. But you can train him properly if you want to. Good luck!
Quincy and Dexter, new BFFs
I used to be kris216.
I know its our fault, he needs to be walked more. Problem is the situation changed. Three months ago I was working part time and we had the money to add a dog and all that entailed. I was able to take him on long walks twice a day, and we fenced in the yard. Then I got sick...I couldn't walk him b/c quite honestly for a few weeks I could barely move. The meds they put me on started causing heart issues so I had that to contend with. I finally seem to be adjusting to the newest meds and then BOTH our cars broke down and had to be replaced. We went from no car payments to two. To pay for that I had to increase my hours at work, hence leaving less time at home. He also came with some medical issues that ended up costing 500.00 or so to clear up. Again, I knew we were taking that on but I just wasn't prepared for the adoption fee, putting in a fence, 500.00 in vet bills, buying everything that it entailed all in two months!
I can and will pay for a trainer, the problem is finding one that isn't ridiculous in price. Like I said the one I know of that comes to your house is expensive, like 800.00 and up expensive. There is a difference between paying for a 200.00 obedience class and forking over 800.00 plus dollars, especially after the new car fiasco.
I feel awful, I really do. If i could rewind time I wouldn't have done it, I admit it. I didn't know I was going to get sick, I didnt' know both my cars would crap out, I didnt know my hours at work was going to have to change. But whats done is done and I need to find a way to make the best of it and make it work for everyone involved. Right now he's lying at my feet being all sweet and its breaking my heart, he can be so sweet. Hopefully the daycare will help, I can find a trainer, and I need to get some sort of gentle leader or something...any suggestions? He is a strong 60 pound puppy getting bigger everyday. He does okay on walks for the most part but when I take him somewhere (especially work) he gets so excited he starts yanking me around and is hard to handle.
We just adopted a large breed puppy who is also a chewer/biter. Immediately when he bites or chews something he isn't supposed to I firmly tell him no and offer him a toy he can chew on. When he does, I praise him. He doesn't know the rules yet so you have to teach him. Also puppies require a LOT of attention, when they don't get it they get bored and start acting up. Try to tire him out more by playing with him. If you don't have the time/energy then maybe rehoming him is a valid option. As far as the kids, you have to also teach them how to act with the puppy. If they yell/run then the puppy will think its a game. Get them involved in the training, tell them to stand still and push the puppy off when they jump and tell the puppy no bite. Maybe if they get involved, they can help play with the puppy.
Also, unless you went behind your hubby's back, getting a dog is a family decision and he needs to put in some work to. And not blame you when the puppy is being "bad".
Exercise, exercise & more exercise! A tired puppy is a better behaved puppy. I understand you're overwhelmed.
Find some mental stimulation if you can't physically exercise him.
And teach your kids to be calm around the dog. Shrieking will rile him up. Have them sit on the couch while the dog comes over for treats & pets.
I'm really sorry for all you're going through and I hope you feel better soon! Given the situation, the grownup thing to do would be for your DH to step up and put in some effort instead of complaining. It's actually pretty crappy that he's giving you sh!t about it. It's not like this situation was your choice.
But the good news is that the pup will be much better behaved once you've learned how to teach him what you expect of him (which is really what training is). And I agree with the PP that it would help to teach your kids not to scream and get upset. 5 and 7 is old enough to learn to behave calmly around dogs.
Puppies are a lot of work in the best of circumstances. You're going to have a slightly harder time of it due to your situation, but you'll get there. A year from now you'll look back and marvel at how far he's come and what a good dog he is. He just needs you to teach him what "good" is. Good luck!
Quincy and Dexter, new BFFs
I used to be kris216.
Thank you everyone! I am going to talk to my husband, I couldn't do it last night b/c I was just so emotionally beat down between all the death at work and my husbands texts about getting rid of the dog. If I even tried to talk to him I would have just started crying and yelling and gotten nowhere. I did talk to my 7 year old last night, i straight out asked if he wanted to get rid of the dog. I thought for sure he would say NO! He instead said only if we can get another dog instead... not quite the answer I was looking for. I explained to him that no, we dont' replace one dog with another. That all dogs are work, he's a puppy and needs us to help him learn how to behave. I explained that he can't run and scream when the puppy is trying to play with him and that we are all going to have to work with him as a family. He seems open to this idea and even asked me this morning if I found a trainer to "fix" his dog yet.
My husband is not a dog person, I told him when we got this puppy that it was a family effort and if he was going to blame me everytime something went wrong then I was not doing it. I think the stress of everything over the past few months have gotten to him as well. He also has severe anxiety, depression and ADD. He met with his therapist yesterday so i'm wondering if maybe whatever they discussed stressed him out further and he just came home and wanted to chill and had the dog to contend with. The ironic part is we also discussed with his therapist before getting the puppy and she thought a puppy would be great for him.
So, today is his first day of daycare, I hope it goes well. I will spend my lunch hour trying to get ahold of a trainer. And thankfully I have this weekend off so there will be time to get more walks in etc. My husband did actually get up and take him for a walk at 5:30 (the dogs new wakeup time, ugh!) and he'll be in charge of dropping him off at daycare and picking him up since I have to work a double. Maybe they will have a bonding moment
Thanks everyone! I know he has the potential to be such a great dog, we are just going to have to put the time and effort in to get there. I can't wait until he's two
You've just described every day in our house for the last seven months. I always laugh when people talk about puppies and kids as this peanut butter and jelly combination. Kids hate living with puppies, and for good reason. They chew up toys, they steal everything, and their teeth really hurt.
The good news is, it gets better as the dog gets older. Have you tried a squirt bottle with a water/vinegar mix? You can pick a command like "back off," or just use "leave it" when you squirt him. I started doing that when the dog was around 5 months old, because he and the kids were driving me BSC. It worked for us,but I still have to pull it out sometimes. Also, if there's a "safe" area where your kids can play, that can help a lot. We have a baby gate across one room so that the dog can't get in, and my kids can take their train tracks or whatever in there and not be bothered.
And ditto the exercise. Doggy daycare should really help, because if he's exhausted, he won't be interested in mauling your kids.
If you don't mind me asking, where in Mass. are you? I assume not near Boston since you said it's the middle of nowhere? We did all our training classes (basic manners and Canine Good Citizen with both dogs and beginner agility with the younger one) at our local Animal Rescue League. It's about $150 for 6 classes, which I think is very reasonable. Perhaps there is something similar near you?
I will completely ditto PPs' recommendations of exercise (structured walks and play time/games), training, and day care as well as training your kids how to behave properly around a puppy/dog and getting on the same page with your husband. If MH ever suggested getting rid of one of our dogs, I can't even imagine what I would do; it's just not an option.
You know, I had forgotten about this, but my youngest nephew was 6 when we got Quincy and although he was all "yay puppy!" in theory, he didn't actually like being around him. He jumped and nipped and was an unpredictable spaz. And Quincy was tiny! I can't imagine 60 lbs. of untrained puppy. But in time, as we taught my nephew how to deal with puppies, and as Quincy calmed down and learned his training, things got MUCH better. Now they roll around on the floor together and calmly sit side by side on the sofa.
OP, glad to hear your update. Hope you guys are all in a better place soon!
Quincy and Dexter, new BFFs
I used to be kris216.