Relationships
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

Going out of town

Please don't judge me or my fiance. I am just looking for support. 

Well my fiance went out of town to drink with some friends, and he is not going to be home tonight. He is about 24 miles away, and depends about 20 tom 30 minutes away, but the thing that is bothering me about that is, well I am home by myself. I have the car, and all stuff ready to go if my water breaks tonight. I doubt it will but you know never know. I guess I am slightly overreacting, but if my water DOES break, I have no one hear to drink me even if the hospital is only 5-10 minutes away depending on traffic... 

image

Re: Going out of town

  • I don't think the world stops just because you're near the end of pregnancy or anything, but was the plan for him to stay overnight somewhere else or did he drink too much and has now decided to stay where he is? (that is in no way advocating for drinking and driving).

    I would treat this the same way that you would any other time you were alone if you went into labor.  Call an ambulance if you need to, call a friend to pick you up, etc.  You may not be in a position to drive yourself, but in most cases, I would think you could wait 20 minutes.

  • I understand that. He didn't plan to stay somewhere else, he is just drinking too much I guess. I am not sure what else to say. 
    image
  • It'll probably be fine, but I'd be annoyed too. My husband turned down a Vegas trip when I was 36 weeks because I didn't feel comfortable with him being that far away if something happened. It's better that he's being responsible by not trying to drive home, but it would be best if he hadn't drank so much in the first place.

     This isn't a regular thing for him, is it?

    image

  • I'm not trying to flame you or make you feel bad when I ask this, but have you guys talked at all about how this is going to have to change once the baby comes? You're going to need his help and his support. The first year of my first kid's life was difficult, and it can be really hard even on a healthy marriage. If you're home with the baby all the time, or you're the only one staying up with the baby because your H has had too much to drink and won't wake up, you're going to resent him. And you're going to be really worn out. 

    I'm not trying to attack you, I'm just concerned for you. 

    image

  • I agree with Noisy - I don't know if you read the "Does anyone's husband or guy do this" thread, but it's a girl in a very similar situation to you, except she has already had her baby. Don't assume things are going to change after the baby comes, they won't.

    You two need to have a serious talk, and if he's not willing to be there as a responsible, contributing member of your family, then you should start thinking about who you could turn to (friends, siblings, parents) for support if you need to ditch him. If you are feeling uncomfortable about being alone, maybe call someone else who could be with you. 

  • imageLittleMissCollegeStudent13:
    Yes it is. 

     

     

    http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

    f.k.a.= Derniermot
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards