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Shy/frightened dog- more advice needed
Yesterday we visited the shy rescue dog that I mentioned in a PP. She's 2 years old and a Whippet/Lab mix. I would have to say "frightened" might be a better word than shy. If you made any sudden moves, especially lifting your arm or hand, she would cower away. We're guessing maybe she was hit by her original owner. Sad. She's been with her foster for 4 months. She said she has come a long way, but I would say she still has a long way to go before she could be carefree.
Despite her fearful nature, we were seriously considering her, as my husband and I could be patient with her and give her space. But now I am having second thoughts- we live in a condo and there are a couple families with children under 5. I worry that in the elevator or a small hallway, a small child might approach her before the parents could stop her or I could pull the dog away. It feels like an unsafe situation, but I want to know what others think.
I also wonder if I am just inventing excuses not to adopt her. We adopted another dog last fall and had to return him after a week because he was much higher energy than we had been told by the rescue. This nervous dog is much lower energy so I'm not worried about that aspect. I just don't want to get in a situation where she could become aggressive if she felt threatened. Help!
Re: Shy/frightened dog- more advice needed
It's really a situation where only you can decide what you're comfortable with. Is it possible to spend more time with her before you make a decision? Or maybe do a trial period in your home for a week or two?
For me, personally, I'm not drawn to dogs with that personality. I think that it takes a really special person to help a dog come out of their shell. We like to do activities that a dog like that would not enjoy at all (having people over to the house, going to the farmers market, etc.).
We have a shy/nervous dog we adopted from a rescue. Lack of socialization and neglect can cause similar behaviors to abuse - so although you may never know his backstory, keep in mind that you might actually be dealing with a very, very undersocialized dog. My advice (we've been working with him for 4.5 months now):
If you decide to adopt him, know that it's a lot of work - not just love and care. There are some great resources out there, but you need to counteract a lot of learned behavior, and that takes patience but also a willingness to push his boundaries and expose him to new things at the right pace. We find that our Buddy makes the best progress when exposed to a new or challenging situation once or twice a week. But this does mean that he has to not only be socialized regularly (which takes a time committment), but also managed in those social situations so it stays a positive experience for him. We've also had great luck with training classes geared towards scaredy dogs, and a trainer who is experienced in working with fearful dogs. Just keep in mind, fear can sometimes manifest in aggression - so I do think you really have to be committed to working with him.
I'd also caution that just because he SEEMS low energy, doesn't mean he IS low energy. Our scaredy dog was also billed as low energy, and had every appearance of being so. The truth is that he was just paralized with fear, and shutting down in fearful situations. He is, NOW, the most high energy dog we have ever known - he has us in stitches with chest high leaps straight up into the air with excitement at our morning walk. I love him to death, but the dog is nuts. So keep in mind that the dog you see now might not be representative of the dog you will have with positive progress.
Regarding people approaching him - our trainer recommended using the phrase "my dog bites" whenever you have to - you can always explain to people after that he's in training and you just can't have them approaching him, but that seems to be the best phrase for stopping people in their tracks.
I will say, working with our Buddy has been one of the most challenging experiences I have ever dealt with - I'm pretty sure my husband would agree - although ours did come compounded with medical issues. I've found it incredibly rewarding, but if it's not a challenge you're up to, I'd recommend really considering this carefully. We're still learning ourselves, but I'm happy to try to answer any questions you have.
This post is full of great advice.
Our dog was rescued at around 4 months of age. As far as I know, he was never hit, but he came to us terribly shy and with no confidence whatsoever. He was super fear reactive - he would snap at people in our home if they moved too suddenly, he freaked if we passed other people or (heaven forbid!) dogs on walks. I cried many times over it.
It has been an incredible amount of work and very exhausting, but we manage his fear very well now. Like PP mentioned, we manage situations he is in so that it remains a positive experience the best we can. We've had him 2.5 years and we still work on social situations all the time.
I don't want to sound like a downer though because although it is a lot of work, the first time I saw my dog actually PLAY with another dog, I cried. And my dog now competes in flyball (a dog relay race essentially, so he is inches away from a dog running at him). Two years ago, I never would have thought we'd be doing that.
*yay a buddy update!*
I had a skittish fearful dog that was also motion reactive (he snaps at fast moments like running, waving hands, bikes, skateboards etc). Like eshee said, it does take a lot of work and a commitment. Also you need to realize that sometimes even with all of the work they might not ever be "right" if you know what I mean. Even after 8 years, multiple competitive awards, CGC and classes he occasionally has some stress and freakouts in new situations. I'm still constantly socializing him and he's 11. But the good news is that he loves people and we've been able to guide him through the worst of his fear and he is super confident (almost too much lol!).
We worked with him using confidence building, desensitizing and controlled socialization. We compete together so he had a core group of friends to see every weekend and he LOVES to preform in front of a crowd. But we've been working on him for 8 years and we still get comments from strangers about him being "shy".
And I'll second eshee 110%....with fearful dogs they seem low energy but as their confidence grows they get more active. My boy was content with one walk a day. Then it was 2. When I started him on disc (just for fun at this point) he started needing more and more activity. Now we train everyday, compete at the top level in disc, take classes for flyball and canine musical freestyle and he's 11. He's on rest right now because of a cut pad and he's driving me insane. This from the dog that just crawled up next to us on the couch and didn't move for hours on end.
The decision to adopt would be up to you, just some insight on the challenges we've had and the hope that some dogs can flourish with the right handler/home.
Poe: Here we go once again with the "I was a wild stray..." story. Blah blah blah *eye roll*
Blog: The Misadventures of Jackson and Poe
That's because he rocks and you've done such a great job with him
Poe: Here we go once again with the "I was a wild stray..." story. Blah blah blah *eye roll*
Blog: The Misadventures of Jackson and Poe
great advice eshee, and love your sig pic!
My dog was a rescue who was very much the same way. Part of it is his nature (he's some sort of spitz/eskimo mix, we think) that makes him very cautious, but he was clearly abused, as well. When we first brought him home, he sat in the middle of the living room all day every day without moving. Two things really seemed to help - 1, spending time with my parents dog, to help build confidence, and 2, belly rubs/other tricks. I made the mistake of teaching him "play dead" and rewarding it with a belly rub, and a year later he's still obsessed. It really seemed to build confidence between us, though, that if I gave him something so awesome in such a vulnerable position, I must be ok
As far as being approached by kids/strangers, it might help to take him to dog classes. A lot of this will be your reaction, as well. If he senses you getting stressed as people approach, he'll worry that something is wrong and perhaps act out. One thing I always make sure is that I tell kids who want to pet him that he has to sit first, and they have to approach him from the front. He's not always thrilled, but if I'm ok with it, he tolerates it.
I'd say as long as you get a good vibe from this dog, and you feel that connection, go for it!
50 in 2012 Reading Challenge: 2 books read
my read shelf:
You guys are all making me blush! I'm always so nervous when I post that I'll have said the wrong thing, haha.
I have to say - reading your (and your dogs) stories has really been a godsend - both from an advice perspective and because it gives me hope when he has a bad day or takes a step back in progress. I have learned that it is unbelievably emotional working with a fearful or reactive dog (I'm getting teary just typing this) and having even virtual support means the world.
That said, there is nothing better than his goofy face (even at 6 am on a Saturday) right in my face (even if he's not supposed to be on the bed) trying to wake us up for cuddles and attention (okay, he might be a little spoiled).
Thanks everybody for the advice. We decided to keep looking. This will be our first dog together, and DH's first dog ever, and I think working with a frightened dog is just not the way to go at this point. I also think this dog would do better in a home that has an established resident dog...the foster had one, and I could tell the frightened dog really looked to him to see how to behave. So I hope she finds a home with another dog.
If you guys want medium or low energy and good with kids, I'd definitely look at hounds. I think you're smart that of you think you might get in over your head not to adopt that dog. There are plenty of dogs who need rescue and I would rather someone pass on my foster than adopt and return.