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A D&R and friend-related quandry
Do any of you remember about a year and a half ago, when I posted about a friend of ours who wrote a blog post that was clearly about me and my house?
To recap for anyone who doesn't, she basically described my decorating and housekeeping as cold, unwelcoming, like she feels like she can't set a glass down, blah blah, and how her home is so much better because it looks like a family lives there, a baby plays there, etc., etc. She may have just been being a hormonal and tired new mom, but it was pretty nasty (and detailed).
Eventually (a long time later) she and I finally talked about it, and she apologized and took it down. I've made an effort to forgive and forget, since they were really good friends before we drifted apart a little when they had kids.
Anyway. The quandry.
They have decided to sell their house, with a goal of putting it on the market by early next spring. They want to stay in the area, but move to something that suits their needs better (space, layout, commute). The H has asked for my assistance getting it showing-ready. (Wow is this close to home.)
I'm genuinely happy to help them, and I think I have some suggestions that would really help. The first being, get a storage unit and really pare down. The next being some painting, wallpaper removal, etc. But with the history, I'm really kind of afraid to suggest anything. Especially because some of the rooms I'd suggest painting first, are the ones they painted themselves (they've been in the house maybe 4-5 years, and have picked some bold colors.) They are expecting baby #2 very soon, so if tired + hormonal had anything to do with her blog post, we'll be back in that zone soon.
Oh help. What do I do?
Re: A D&R and friend-related quandry
I would approach from a generic standpoint. So you would really be telling them nothing different than a realtor or anyone who watches a few hours of HGTV on a weekend.
Say things like:
-declutter as much as you can and say sometimes people put things in storage
-neutral and fresh paint will help you sell (maybe suggest a painter to come do it, if they can afford it)
-Staging tips for better flow, etc
Wives Unscripted
I remember this whole story!
Honestly, I would just try my hardest to forgive, forget and leave it as water under the bridge.
Make your suggestions but do so tactfully and they can choose to take it or leave it. Do a lot of, "I really love this color and I know you do too..but buyers these days are ridiculous and can't see past beige...so I suggest something more neutral here." Don't make it personal basically.
I would hope she's "learned her lesson" and won't be blogging anymore about your house...so if she's mature at all I doubt you'll be seeing this again.
Also, make your suggestion with her pregnancy in mind. When you suggest paint colors, tell her a painter would make life great and be done in half the time. Don't tell her she needs to undergo a massive bathroom remodel at this point or anything either.
And does she know her H suggested this. If she does go ahead...if she doesn't...well you have a whole new set of problems.
I would simply say what you stated above. "I would absolutely love to help, but I value our friendship and want to ensure no one's feelings are hurt. If we're both on board with the ultimate goal being to sell your house, count me in, as I'd love to help."
Would it come across better if you framed it as wanting to be helpful with outside information vs. your personal opinion? "You know, I was watching HGTV/talking to my friend who is a realtor/whatever and she mentioned that (name of neutral paint color) really helped her listing photograph better. What do you think about doing some painting?"
I am your friend, I'm a realtor, and I'm pro repainting if it doesn't photograph well, so it's not a lie.
Do you remember Katie's kitchen pics last week? The paint made a huge difference in how the kitchen showed, and they got an offer on the first showing after repainting, IIRC. (There's another anecdotal friend story for you.)
lol, sjh
Thanks for the suggestions. The HGTV-based, realtor-friend based suggestions are probably a good way to go. Objectivity will be my friend in this.
As far as hiring painters... heck I'd even come help them paint. I love painting and have run out of rooms to paint in my own house. I just need to navigate the suggestions carefully.
Sort-of-related: if you are painting over high gloss paint, or semi-gloss (on walls) with a lower gloss like eggshell, do you need to prime first? I'm guessing yes, but I've never done it.
Re: the bolded, if you can find a way to not make it sound crazy, Katie's kitchen is a fab example. That kitchen looked great as is but the buyers were turned off by color. And as D&R "saavy" as I am, I still look at a house with some insane paint and go "oh, wow.. that's.. not good." Eventually, I get past it but yeah.
I would find out if she knows about it, and then be neutral. Maybe send her links to a "what to do to get your house market ready" type posts on blogs/a website. If she doesn't, I'd tell her H to contact a realtor for a meeting for the realtor to tell them what to do.
TTC Baby #2 - BFP on 12/14/11 @ 10DPO - CP confirmed 12/18/11
BFP #2 on 1/13/12
Yes, you'll need to prime if you're going down sheens in paint.
Wives Unscripted
I was afraid of that. That will add to the amount of work necessary, since several of the rooms are bright, bold, and glossy.
I remember that situation.
Honestly, I'd beware of being too specific "that red color in your living room has GOT to go" and make it more like, "well, I'd start by repainting all the walls with a neutral color in a matte or satin sheen. Fresh, neutral paint can make a HUGE difference." Then I'd do like the PPs have suggested and provide some other generic tips that they could download off HGTV website.
This.