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How often do you talk to your parents?
The reason I'm asking is because my dad calls at least once a day, sometimes upwards of three to four times a day if we don't answer the phone. He'll first call my cell phone. If I don't answer, he'll then call DH's cell phone, and he if doesn't reach either one of us he'll call back 30 minutes later and try again.
Usually he doesn't have anything important to talk about, he just wants to talk to someone. (He went through a messy divorce about 2 years ago and has been taking care of my elderly grandmother ever since. I know he gets lonely.)
I don't want to seem like the "bad daughter" here, because the telephone and emails are about the only way my dad can keep in touch with us since he lives in California. BUT... it really is going overboard. He wants to talk to me AND DH every single day... sometimes multiple times a day. It's becoming a contentious issue between me and DH, because while DH likes my dad and gets along well with him, the numerous phone calls are getting on both our nerves.
I talk to my mom maybe once every 2 or 3 days and when she calls it is because she has a reason to call and it's a quick. DH's parents usually only call a couple times a month. We'll communicate with them more through email.
Anyways, I tried telling my dad that we don't like to talk on the phone much, blaming it on our minutes. But then he said he usually tries to call after 9 p.m. our time so he doesn't use up our minutes. So... then I just told him that we just don't answer the phone sometimes because we've got other things going on.
How do I tell him without hurting his feelings that he needs to back off the phone a little bit and give us some space?
Re: How often do you talk to your parents?
Hmmm...I'd say on an average I talk to my dad 2-3 times a week. He lives in Minnesota and I know he misses me a lot but he is very, very busy with his life. Sometimes I talk to him more than that and sometimes less (if he is away on vacation or whatever).
It is my brothers I wish I talked to more. I haven't talked to one of my brothers since I last saw him...at Christmas last year! We get along and all, we just never talk I guess. I've only talked to my other brother for a few minutes a few weeks ago when he answered my dad's phone.
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Oh that's tough! We talk to our parents about everyday. Sometimes it will be a day or two that goes by without talking to my mom but its because she's impossible to get a hold of (and FLAKY - I love her but... grr!).
Robert talks to his mom and dad and brother on a pretty much daily basis. However... my mom RARELY talks to him - only for special occassions like birthdays/holidays. I talk to his parents but only when either MIL or SMIL call to check on me during the day, or if FIL calls and I pick up the phone.
FIL never calls to just chat with ME.
I talk to my mother on a daily basis! I usually talk to her on the way to or from work. She is usually out on the road around the same time I am....so we do the bulk of our girl talking then. My mom tries not to call during the big part of the evening...unless she has something she needs to tell us. She is always afraid that she is butting in on me and the hubby eating dinner or something! She tries to always be respectful of mine and my hubby's time together!
Now....my FIL....that is a whole different story!!!!!! He usually calls my house at the butt~crack of dawn on Saturday mornings (who does that)! That is after he has already called DH's cell a few times. He always leaves some stupid message on our machine like...."pick up the phone guys....I know you are home because it's early"! It makes me want to get rid of a home phone entirely! **asshat**
I talk to my parents about 2-3 times a week. I'm not a huge phone person and neither is my mom...she has to talk on one a lot during the day so she doesn't usually like to spend her evenings doing it. My dad on the other hand I talk to a little more...but he is retired so I think it's boredom sometimes.
Now DH's mom on the other hand has to talk to DH every single day sometimes she calls multiple times...if she thinks of the slightest little thing that really could wait she still picks up that phone. It was extremely hard to get used to! She calls me sometimes just to chat as well...but not every day like my DH. But when she calls it's usually his cell phone. It used to run our minutes up something crazy...and that is what we used to tell her hoping it would curb her calling so much...but then she just started calling from her cell so it didn't affect the minutes, so we were right back to the everyday sometimes multiple times a day. Then DH came up with the idea that if he called her on his way home from work that maybe just maybe the evening phone calls where she rambled on about everything under the sun would stop...it works so far. I think her problem was mainly boredom.
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I usually talk to one of my parents almost everyday (wasn't quite that often before we got preggers/ the baby).....We talk to ILs every few days--(used to be about once a week or less before preggers/the baby).
Not sure what to tell you....but it will prob get worse when the baby arrives.
I talk to my mom almost everyday or every other day if our lives get busy. She'll occasionally talk to DH.
My IL's email more than call b/c they know it's the easiest way to get in touch w/us. They call when they REALLY need us or just to catch up probably once a month.
My father is deceased so I talk to my step dad occasionally. I really like him a lot but will always miss my dad.
Lydia, something my mom used to do w/my grammie (her mom) when she used to call ALL the time is my mom set up a weekly time for them to talk (it was also prob pre-cell phones!!! ha) on Sat mornings and that was their time to talk and catch up. Maybe do this w/your dad - like every Wed night and Sat morn? That might help him and work out better for yall. Just a thought.
I email my mom multiple times a day M-F, and then I talk to her every Sunday. I would say I talk to my dad every couple of weeks or so.
Do you think maybe you could invent a whole bunch of stuff you have going on (meetings, social gatherings, church things) and just tell him that you're going to be really busy through Christmas and you won't be able to talk that much? Maybe if you get him to not call you both so much now, it'll kind of become a habit for him to not call multiple times a day?