Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Found out something I wish I hadn't..
I'm dating a new guy now and have been for about 6 weeks. I would still consider the relationship in the very new phase but we have been spending a lot of time together recently.
Last night on our way to dinner we stopped for gas. I had a diet coke with me and spilled a little when he went inside to pay. I opened his glove compartment looking for a napkin and there was a prescription bottle sitting there. It was for Effexor which I, naturally, later googled and found out it was an anti-depressant/anti-anxiety med.
He hasn't told me about any sort of condition nor do I feel like he should have told me at this point but I really wish I hadn't seen that. Now I'm all anxious because I guess he'll have to tell me at some point and I'm wondering what, specifically, he takes it for.
Do I tell him I saw it or just wait for him to bring it up?
Would this bother you?
Re: Found out something I wish I hadn't..
No, it really wouldn't bother me. A lot of people have anxiety/depression and effexor is quite common. It also demonstrates a fair level of maturity and self awareness in my book because he obviously knows that he has a problem and is willing to get help for it. Far better than being in denial and trying to avoid the issue like a lot of people tend to do.
No, I wouldn't bring it up. You saw something personal and you need respect his privacy for now.
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
I'm kinda "ehhh" about it. If it was in his glove compartment, it might be something he only takes when he's having increased issues or possibly from a while ago, when he needed them (did you see dates on it?). I guess I'd be more concerned about someone who was taking antipsychotic meds vs. antidepressants/anxiety, but that's just me.
I'd guess if it's on ongoing issue, it will come up on it's own.
I wouldn't mention that you saw it.
And, no, it wouldn't bother me. Depression and anxiety are incredibly common, and I'd feel good about the fact that he's receiving medical attention in order to keep it under control. Effexor's one of the most well-respected psychiatric medicines out there, and it has fewer side effects that many do.
It sounds like this bothers you, though. How come?
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
As an FYI, I was prescribed Effexor for my migraines.
I wouldn't mention it. It's just something to know about him, like he enjoys Jello or owned a dog named Gus.
I don't really know if it bothers me or not. It definitely got me thinking about what he might be taking it for. I like this guy and I like him more every day which is very uncommon for me so I guess mostly I'm concerned about him. I didn't think I should bring it up with him so I thought I'd ask you guys your thoughts.
My first thought when I read this post was, doesn't it to get too hot to keep meds in the glove compartment?
I don't know much about meds, I rarely take them, but I would think they would need to be kept at more room temp, especially since Summer is just around the corner.
They see us rollin'...they be hatin'.
No you don't tell him you saw it. No it wouldn't bother me.
If you got in my car you would find prenatal vitamins but I sure as fvckkkk am not pregnant. They are left over from when I was pregnant. But you would have to check the date on the prescription to realize that.
Effexor is used for things aside from depression/anxiety. Plus as PPs said maybe he just takes it on an "as needed" basis, maybe it is for migraines, etc. My neurologist wanted to give me antidepressants for my migraines as well. I ended up on a beta blocker instead. Which when people hear what I take they think its so odd for me to be a on a beta blocker when I am only 27.
I really don't see this as a big deal. Think about this way. Let's say he does in fact take it for depression. But he is really good about taking it every day and that keeps him happy and able to function and live a normal life. That is no different than someone who takes blood pressure medication, heart medication, diabetes medication, etc every day to ensure their quality of life. Maybe if he didn't take it he would be a horribly depressed bitter mess. If it is working for him why judge it?
^ The above rant stems from me working very closely with people who have to take these meds every day and I HATE hearing they don't want to take them due to the stigma attached. You are just feeding into the stigma. *steps off soapbox*
No it wouldn't bother me in the least because I'm on Zoloft for anxiety/depression and it's such a common thing to seek treatment for. I was on Effexor before but it stopped working for me.
I'd actually be happy he was on medication to treat it instead of it not being treated. I also wouldn't bring it up until he does. It's not something I would bring up to anyone if I was newly dating them.
ETA- It kinda seems like you're just looking for a reason not to like him or stay with him since this is out of the norm for you. If it really bothers you and you think your relationship is stable, then ask him about it so that you can move on.
<a href="http://s941.photobucket.com/albums/ad259/laurens1122-bfp/?action=view
Oh please, I wasn't feeding into a stigma nor am I looking for a reason not to like him. I do like him, that's why I'm concerned about him. I also don't think there's anything wrong with him taking a medication he needs. I agree that it's just like taking a medication for something like high blood pressure...which, by the way, would still concern me because I care about the guy.
I don't think there's anything wrong with me soliciting input and I also don't believe my soliciting input here indicates anything other than curiosity.
If your previous post was addressed for me, I apologize, I read your post wrong. Reading fail!
<a href="http://s941.photobucket.com/albums/ad259/laurens1122-bfp/?action=view
If it is in his glove box, I am guessing it is for something like this. I keep my migraine meds in all different places so I have them on hand when I need them.
When I was taking an anti-anxiety after my divorce, I kept it near my toothbrush because I had to remember to take it daily. I would not have kept it in my car where there was a chance I'd forget it.
I agree, it would not bother me. And who knows what they are used for.
After I had DS, the nurses were adamant about getting me back on my prescription. It was a anti-seizure medication that also worked well as a mood stabilizer. I had to remind them that I was taking it for bipolar disorder, not epilepsy. I have not needed it since. So yea, a lot of medications end up being multi-purpose.
Same thing I thought .. that this is not a safe place to store meds. For the record, it wouldn't bother me.. but it would bother me that I saw it, because I would feel weird about knowing something personal that he didn't actually tell me about.
I was on effexor for Five years and you are welcome to ask me about it if you want. When my mom was diagnosed with cancer I had a really hard time, started therapy and meds. The problem with effexor is that it is known for being really hard to get off of. I credit the fact that I had depression young and did therapy for the fact that I am very emotionally healthy now. I hve positive relationships with friends, parents, my husband, I handle stress decently, I handle emotional difficulties in healthy ways and I am very open about my feelings with other people. Therapy is why I'm able to have such a good relationship with my husband. If I hadn't even diagnosed with depression I would not be as happy as I am today. It took me two years and three tries to get off of effexor but I've been off for five years and do not have issues with depression. It is one of the best medications on the market for anxiety disorders combined with depression and I still have some anxiety issues, but nowhere near as bad. Most cases of depression are situational and most people diagnosed as adults have periods of depression but do not struggle with it their entire lives.
To me, being on meds indicates he probably went through something crummy but was proactive and responsible enough to advocate for his health and well being. It would also indicate to me that he's committed to being emotionally healthy.
I would let him tell you in his own time.
I take Effexor for anxiety due to a chemical imbalance.
Isn't it something like 1 in 4 adults takes meds for anxiety/depression? So, even if I wasn't taking meds myself, no, it wouldn't bother me. Also, if someone found my meds, I wouldn't mind them asking me about it.
Add me to this list! There is nothing outwardly 'wrong' with me if I don't take them but I feel blue, often for no reason. With Celexa, I just feel like a better version of me. I've had those blue feelings going back to age 7.
DD2 11.17.08