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I met someone...
that I kind of like. After Saturday night's terrible date, I decided I want to take a break from dating for a while. At least until my son leaves for the summer as I don't want to spend another evening away from him for a bad date. If he's not around it's not as bad.... Anyway I was talking to this guy online and basically told him that I'm really not up to meeting anyone any more. We ended up talking on the phone for like 2 hours and I told him some of my worst stories. He was really funny. I told him if he really wanted to meet, it would have to be in a parking lot for 5 min because that is all the time I am willing to spare (he told me a funny story about meeting this girl from online in a parking lot so that's where it came from).
So yesterday on my way home from work he happened to be in my neighborhood (he lives like 30 min away) so we met in the parking lot of a Walgreens. He sat in his car and I sat in mind and we rolled down our windows and talked. It was pretty funny. Of course the guy I decide to NOT date is freaking adorable (he looks just like Vince Vaughan), smart, funny, has a job and can afford gas to come see me.
Now what am I supposed to do?
Re: I met someone...
That's hilarious! You sat in your cars!?
You decided not to date because (from what I'm reading) you didn't want to waste time away from your son on bad dates. This guy sounds promising to you, and you do want to date, just not bad dates. So go out with him a few times, see if he keeps being promising. Dating him doesn't mean you have to go out on dates with all the dregs of the internet.
This!! Go out with him and see what happens!
So now I've become Miss Overanalyzer of text messages.
He texted me like within an hour of when we met and said "Told you I was normal"
Then we texted back and forth a bit and he did my favorite "maybe we can get together Wed or Thur. I have to see" Ugh, I hate that. Mr. I'm so busy and important.
Our last communication was he texted me at like 9pm last night. But it wasn't really a text that I could respond to. So... do I text him today or wait for him to text me? I wish there was a manual on when to text.
I have learned that less is more when texting. If a guy is truly interested in you, he will take the initiative to text if he hasn't heard from you. If he's not, then you won't hear from him. I'm not saying that you can never text someone first, but if the ball's in his court, leave it there until you hear back from him.
I probably wouldn't text unless I had something specific to say, but that's just how I am.
Text him if you want to!
BE YOURSELF
If you feel like texting him, but don't, because you think you have to act a certain way, then you aren't being yourself, and you're not letting him know the real you, and one thing I'm sure about is wanting someone who likes me as I am and who I can be myself with.
Totally! Start by just going out with him for a quick drink after work and see what happens. Maybe you can leave work a bit early one day and meet him while your son is still at daycare just to see...
While I totally agree with you, the part I'm not sure about is if he texted me last is the ball in my court to text him back? our last exchange was me saying something and him agreeing.
I'd respond with "I'm busy Wed, but can do dinner Thursday" or whatever works for you and try and set something up. That way it isn't like you are waiting and keeping your schedule free just in case, but you have the possibility of a date.
And just because you said you weren't going to date, doesn't mean you have to stick to it. I said the same thing when I met bf. We had been talking online and already set up a time to meet for lunch. I was so over dating and said I wasn't going to date for a while. But, since I already told him I'd meet him for lunch, I figured, "He seems nice enough ... what's an hour and a free lunch?" 18 months later, I live with him.
This is me to a T. I'm definitely a high volume texter in general with friends and family so I totally over analyze someone who may not be as responsive or tied to their phone as I am.
I think a response like this to his last text would be good.
I don't want to be a pest about it because he said he would let me know...
You aren't being a pest. You are letting him know you are only free one of the days he mentioned.
I really like this approach. Narrow it down and put it on him. Keep in mind you met him online and there is a good chance he is dating other women as well and he might be trying to juggle who/when to meet.
Add me to the text/text over analyzer group - we should totally start a support group! I would text if there is something you want to share (that's what I do a lot) about your day or something funny/random you came across. Also with DD, texting is so much more convenient for communication - although the meaning/tones behind the words are completely invisible and only up for my mind to give crazy meaning too