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Dress me for my date please?
Ok yes, I'm going on a dinner date with my "Boss" from my second job. He will only be my boss for 2 more weeks because I got hired at a better full time job and I will be quitting both my ft and pt jobs.
ANYWAY. Flame away.
But I'm seriously having trouble finding an outfit to wear for our date. He's taking me to dinner. He's surprising me. I asked him how I should dress. He said be presentable but be comfortable enough that we can dance later, so I know we'll be going to the bar with his friends post dinner.
I was thinking dark skinny jeans, my lucky brand black ballet flats, and some top...not sure. I have a strapless flowy silk floral top from AE that is like corset like with a ruffle on the bottom..hard to explain, I could wear that with a cropped sweater. What do you think? I don't know
Re: Dress me for my date please?
I think considering that you just got out of an abusive relationship and admit that you are co-depedant that you shouldn't be going out on ANY dates, let alone with your boss even if you are quitting
You need to surround yourself with positive female friends and work on your issues with your therapist.
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
Okay forget it. Nevermind. I've totally been avoiding these boards because you guys are always so nit picky.
Yeah I know I just got out of an abusive relationship. I've been spending every waking second either alone doing stuff to de-XBF-ize my apartment or hanging with my girlfriends or working.
I'm happy to go out on a date with someone who is nice.
Forget it. I'm just so tired of people not liking me because of my "destructive decisions". I've been so much better for the past month, and I'm trying to do my best to be me.
So don't support it. Do support it. I don't care anymore.
You obviously have some notion that this date is a bad idea considering you state: "FLAME AWAY" in your OP.
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
Nit-picky? Please. And the fact that you can't see that it isn't that people "don't like you" is absolutely maddening. To the contrary, I think people do like you and are very concerned for your well-being, which is why they try to steer you in a different direction when you make a poor decision.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
Well that's because every decision I make someone has a problem with. *sigh* whatever. I'm just so tired of it.
Am I the only one that think that you are not for real?
BECAUSE YOU'RE MAKING BAD DECISIONS, AND YOU KNOW IT.
Lol! Very fitting!
If we didn't like you or didn't care we would not take the time to give you well thought out responses.
I am sad for you.
So um... with all the above in mind, and knowing you'll go regardless of what anyone says, that outfit sounds fine.
I'd wear heels, but what I'd do really isn't relevant.
Bwhahahaha!!!! LOVE IT!
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
Umm yea...so this is what most people do with their time (except replace de-XBFing to cleaning, cooking, etc.). Basically you're spending EVER WAKING MINUTE doing what normal people do.
There is an easy fix for this, I promise. People have issues with your dating decisions because from the outside they appear really unhealthy. It makes them scared and sad for you. The fact that you don't see anything wrong with people's concerns and instead view it as people simply not liking you shows that the problem is with your self confidence and judgment right now.
I get not wanting to be alone. I understand wanting the validation of someone wanting you. The thing is this: until you get to the bottom of your own issues and really knock those out you aren't going to be able to be in a healthy relationship with anyone. It's just impossible. So you keep prolonging the inevitable by rushing past the get emotionally healthy part, and subsequently keep putting yourself in positions with men where you'll be hurt again and only feel more like crap the next time.
It's the same logic as someone who is an overeater. They feel like crap about themselves and hungry, so they eat tons of ice cream. The tons of ice cream makes that person heavier, which makes them feel even more like crap about themselves, which makes them want to eat more ice cream. JUST SAY NO TO ICE CREAM. If this guy is a really nice guy, he'll wait a few months for you to get it together. I met my H soon after I kicked myself in the ass and demanded from myself that I act like an emotionally healthy person in the dating world. It was when I realized I was ok being alone, actually liked being alone, and would not tolerate any bs that I was someone normal guys wanted to date.
I love kellbell's advice. I really hope you'll listen to it flitty/luibot. So far you seem to want to play the victim and tell us how we're all a bunch of big 'ole meanies. I guess it's easier than actually doing the work you know you need to in order to heal.
I could see getting super defensive and biitchy if we were all a bunch of smug women who'd never been through anything similar before. But you're forgetting where you are posting. It's the SO board and many of us have had to go through almost the same thing you are. it's not what happens to us but how we choose to deal with it that will define our eventual outcome. Unfortunately I don't think you're dealing with it in the right way, and you are going to keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again.
You're simply delaying the inevitable by refusing to be alone and using men as a distraction and bandage for the real problems you should be addressing.
The fact that you came on here as two different people, and a group of strangers that analyzed only the facts that you gave them came up with the same conclusion about both Flitty-you and Liubot-you should tell you something.
It should tell you that your actions set off SERIOUS red flags for the objective observer. Why in the world would we all decide to pick on one person for no reason?
Also am I the only one that's mad at this dude? There're 2 people acting crazy in this situation. Boss sounds like such a scumbag.
I agree with all of this, ESPECIALLY the bolded. There is no way someone preying on an employee that just got out of an abusive relationship is a good guy. He has power over you in more than one way.
It makes me sad that you are in such a bad place and you can't just stay away from men for a while. You need to get YOU healthy before you will be able to attract a man worth having. Please get the help you need. Don't be a statistic.