Married Life
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Is this tacky?
My second wedding, Fiance's first. His 2 aunts want to throw us a bridal shower. Generally speaking, I think second bridal showers are tacky, but in this case, it is the groom's first wedding. His family is excited and his aunts are really thrilled to be hosting this.
I feel awkward inviting my family/friends to a shower that is my second. I can't NOT invite them though.
Tacky to invite them? Do I tell them to come and enjoy and not bring gifts? But acknowledging that you are receving gifts is tacky, right?
Help me please and thanks!
Always be yourself. Unless you suck.
Re: Is this tacky?
DS1 born June 2008 | m/c at 9w March 2011 | DS2 born April 2012
To clarify, I meant my sister, stepsister, and my aunt and cousin (the only family on my mom's side who I am close to). That would be the only family I am inviting to the wedding. They would be tremendously hurt if they were not invited to anything this time around. My family is so small to not include anyone would be really bad.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Anytime I'm invited to a shower, I never think of these things. I'm never thinking "omg, that gift grubby wh0re already had a shower!!" Same with multiple baby showers, I never think about these things unless I'm on these boards.
Maybe it could be more of a Bridal Luncheon vs. a shower? Your Fiance's side of the family/friends would likely bring gifts if they're excited about that but then your side wouldn't feel obligated...and then avoid opening any gifts until after the event is over so no one feels awkward.
10 years ago was the first shower.
I just know that if my good friends/family found out about a shower they were not invited to, they would be hurt.
His family is going to want to open gifts at the shower. Since its his first wedding, i can't deny his family traditional wedding things, I just want to make it less awkward for my family/friends that I ought to include.
Definitely not inviting entire extended family, as they aren't even invited to the wedding. The wedding guests, for my side, are close family and a handful of close friends. Those would be invited to the shower.
I think this is fine, especially since it's your FI's first marriage. Your close friends and family probably want to celebrate with you.
I don't either. Provided i like yoy and you're not throwing your own shower or telling me what to buy you, I'm happy to celebrate your wedding and bring you a gift.
Agreed. Like many things, I think The Knot/Nest/Bump make these situations into a way bigger deal than they are.
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
Thanks guys.
I tried to avoid the shower all together but his family is insistent, which is fair since its his first wedding, and he's the first "kid" in the family to be getting married. They're all pretty excited and it's not their fault this is my second wedding, so I agreed to let them do it. I just feel weird.
Your last shower was 10 years ago and you are only inviting a handful of people! You are good to go.
Daycare is SO exhausting!
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Go for it. Your last shower why 10 years ago, everyone's excited, and it's not like you're inviting everyone you've ever met.
I agree with this.
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I agree! Stop fretting, they will love it and be happy to get you a George Forman Grill/pig in a blanket maker/griddle/mini muffin maker, etc.
I hope it's the cake pop maker!
There are so many bad days and bad things in the world. You're getting married! That's a good thing! There is nothing wrong with celebrating the good things :-)
Let them throw you the shower, invite your family. If you were my IRL friend, I would totes go to your shower and buy you the pizza stone you registered for and not think twice about it. You are not Elizabeth Taylor, getting married for the ninth time. Don't sweat it.
Come crash the party, it's in Chicago 'burbs :-). Knowing Fi's family, there's likely booze, if that entices you any more. lol
I agree. If these are your closest friends and family, they are going to want to celebrate and are totally going to understand the situation. And if they have a problem with it, they don't have to go. If it were my friends, I would invite them and let them know that this is being done by FI's family and you understand if they don't want to participate this time.
Honestly, I LOVE these things. Any excuse to get together and see my friends and family is cool with me. Even for second baby showers/bridal showers. In fact, I'm always disappointed if the opt to not do them. Each wedding/baby is an exciting thing and should be celebrated.
yes
Anyone who is close to you isn't going to judge you for this. They are excited for you. Just enjoy!
I don't think it is tacky.
This is a NEW relationship and new marriage so you should be able to enjoy everything that comes with it- ESPECIALLY since it is your FI first experience.
Have fun! Enjoy celebrating your new life with your new man
Booze is always an enticement :-)
Come on by! But don't forget the pizza stone!!
You got a deal, lady!
Why is that tacky? I bet her family and friends want to celebrate with her, too. I bet everyone here's family and friends would be hurt if they found out their loved one had a big event like a shower that they were excluded from.
You go on and have your shower, Kit, and invite whoever makes you happy.
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.