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Please help me not feel like a loser
I get VV's post and all of the replies, totally.
I'm going out with a 25 yo tonight who has his own house. I'm pushing 30, going through a divorce, and living with my parents. He knows how old I am, but not the other stuff, and I'm super self-conscious about it. I will absolutely bring them up tonight in case they are dealbreakers for him.
Please tell me I'm not a loser.
The day I left was just my beginning.
Re: Please help me not feel like a loser
Well, you actually own a house, so not a loser, it is just that a loser happens to live in it.
Not the same thing!
Definitely not a loser. Your situation is completely different from the average "I live with my parents because I'm unmotivated to be on my own."
Your ex was douchy and that's why you don't live in the house that you actually own.
I may be in the minority here but I don't think you should have to bring this up on the first date. Shouldn't a first date be all about having fun? I would focus on your many positive attributes - you're not a loser at all.
Do NOT bring this up on your first date!!!
You are just getting to know this guy, right?
Keep it light and breezy.
stop being a dork
it's not the same thing
you're not living with your mom and dad so that your mom does your laundry (if she does it anyway that's irrelevant
) and so that you can play x-box all day and not grow up.
don't sell yourself short, "well, if I was not living with my parents, you would not be able to date me, and I am awesome, fuckyah!"
If you're embarrassed about it, then other people will feel embarrassed for you; try to just explain it as it is what it is (and there is no deeper meaning than that).
Yeah that's right my name's Yauch!
1. It's not the same thing; and
2. I don't judge people who live with their parents these days. The economy is rough, yo.
Updated September 2012.
I think the timing of the post was just bad, because I was already nervous about bringing it up.
Should I really not bring it up tonight? I feel like I should be honest, because like I said, I know that those issues are dealbreakers for some people.
If you bring up your living situation you will inevitably have to bring up your ex (his jerkiness is the reason you're staying with your parents right now, right? - please correct me if I'm wrong) I don't think bringing up an ex on the first date is a good idea.
Really, I think you're thinking too much about this.
Go and have a great time and if it seems like things are getting serious then you can move on to more personal topics.
It's relevant if you talk about your separation and divorce. I wouldn't "bring it up" but I think it may come up in conversation naturally. Just put it out of your mind and if it comes up, talk about it normally, lol. Not like, "OMG I AM SUCH A LOSER I LIVE WITH MY PARENTS!!! IS THAT A DEALBREAKER???"
Yeah that's right my name's Yauch!
lol, I think I've been pretty cool about it when it's come up with other guys. I'll see how the conversation goes.
Agree with LTP. If it comes up as a part of your separation, then it comes up. I don't think it needs to be brought up on its own. And you can segue it into a conversation about that awesome apartment you showed us, which can then lead to a number of other more comfortable conversations, like the fun thigns to do in the neighborhood it's in, etc.
You've got this. You know you do. Don't let your nerves get the best of you.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
of course not.
there's living with your parents, and then there's living with your parents. and everyone with sense can tell the difference between the two.
You are not a loser. You are paying for a house already, that your asssy stbx is staying in. HE'S the loser. YOU are a fabulous woman making a new life for yourself.
If I was your mom, I'd let you stay and I'd do your laundry, too. But the place on your own is going to make you feel SO much better.
I happen to think you're pretty awesome. You're working really hard to make your own life and that's admirable. You're not living with your parents bc you're some non starter dependent and you have nothing to be embarassed about.
My H lived with his parents when we met due to a break up, job transition etc. and it was temporary and not judge worthy.
You are not a loser, you are awesome!
I am also just going to ditto everything gozf said.
Daycare is SO exhausting!
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