I've been doing a lot of soul searching about my mom

wtsupbuttercup

And I think I've come to the conclusion that I really don't want her in my life. I don't want to permanently give her the boot or anything, I just want it to be a "major holidays and family events only" sort of relationship. I'm not sure how to break that to her. I still haven't responded to her apology text. 

I know some of you don't know what I'm referring to here, but the cliff's notes version is when I was home last weekend my mom stormed off angry, came back told me I needed botox, that I look disgusted all of the time, and that my job sucks and I don't work hard or make money.  

skippingstones

IMO, I think that's a good plan. I wouldn't tell her just yet, but ignore any further communication until you have a clear head on your shoulders. Think about what you want to tell her and how to go about doing it (over the phone, letter, face to face, etc.). 

PSU_Grad

I've been thinking about you and your situation.  I think the conclusion you've come to is the right thing for you at this time.  It seems like when you get more involved with your mom it's such a rollercoaster ride of emotions, and you end up feeling bad about yourself for reasons that aren't even remotely true.  She really is toxic and I'mn glad you're distancing yourself for now.  And it doesn't have to be permanent.  (((HUGS)))

OrangePixyStix

PSU_Grad:

I've been thinking about you and your situation.  I think the conclusion you've come to is the right thing for you at this time.  It seems like when you get more involved with your mom it's such a rollercoaster ride of emotions, and you end up feeling bad about yourself for reasons that aren't even remotely true.  She really is toxic and I'mn glad you're distancing yourself for now.  And it doesn't have to be permanent.  (((HUGS)))

This +1

 

She is really toxic and you are better off without her manipulations and dramatics in your life.       I know it will be hard and awkward to explain this to her, definitely take your time with it and do it whenever you are ready.  **hugs**

 

jadeorchid21

What you are doing is exactly what I would have done. I actually have done it but not to my mother but to some of my other relatives.

You have to do this for yourself- to keep your sanity and not go nuts. I get that so much. You may not have to tell her but show her. You have the option to accept her apology but time will give you the clarity you need to be able to accept her apology or decline it. Good luck with this!

BTW- you look great! Vegans usually do right! 

OrangePixyStix

I've realized that friends and loved ones come in and out of your life and sometimes it's best to let them go for the sake of spiritual and mental peace. Don't ever underestimate the power and value of inner peace!

 

 

Just like a good bra, you've got support from us, buttercup! 

 

 

wtsupbuttercup

You gals are so great! Thank you!

 

*bewb squishes for all*  

LizO11

**hugs** It definitely sounds like the best decision for you.

Bride45

Sounds to me your mother is jealous of your fabulous life. Do what is best for you.

charitylynne_1979

I know exactly where you are coming from. My parents are like that - very judgemental and opionated and don't care what they say to their kids, etc. I only communicate with them via email every so often and keep it to major holidays and all. I have chosen to distance them in my life because they no longer have control over what I saw or do.