Decorating & Renovating
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Anyone else arguing about decor with SO?
My FI and I have been arguing tooth and nail over the decor for our new house. We just have completely different taste when it comes to that. Has anyone else had problems with that? Any suggestions for compromising?
Re: Anyone else arguing about decor with SO?
If DH and I each had a house to decorate, they would both come out looking completely different. However, we've almost been able to find middle ground. You both just need to be willing to give a little - if one likes modern and one likes traditional, look for transitional style furniture.
And pick your battles - let the other one "win" on items that aren't as important to you but are important to them.
Wise advice.
I LOVE what the pp said about picking your battles. This is so true. If there is something he likes that you could LIVE WITH....let him have it. It's not worth arguing over.
Otherwise, we try to pick items based on a 1-10 scale. If something is a 10 for him but a 1 for me, we keep looking and vice/versa. The goal is to find something you both feel is a 7.
Am I the best example of that all the time? HECK No! I failed miserably when we first got married. SERIOUSLY....I failed at this. I fought to get my way. I look back at that and really hate that I did that. We've worked at getting back to compromises and changed some stuff around. Do we live in a "magazine house?" No. Would I like to have 100% say in the decor and make it look that way, yes. However, I also want peace and happiness
If it's really that bad, consider hiring a professional who can meet with you both individually and come up with a plan that will suit both of you. Something like Secrets from a Stylist or Designing for the Sexes. Designers can often work on an hourly basis, with some costing as little as $65/hr.
My Pinterest
The Googlesites Paint Bio
Thinking of doing cosmetic updates to a dated home? These were our costs.
If you share a home and you both care enough about how it appears then you need to each compromise. Ditto PPs about the 1-10 and 7 ratings and also on the transitional decor idea.
A starting point might be for you to agree on colors and go from there. That would help narrow your style down. Also, find your key pieces (tables, sofas, big chairs, etc.) that you both enjoy and like. Once you have the anchors of a room, accessories and artwork, can more easily fall into place.
Wise indeed.
Signed,
Dairy who could paint the kitchen pink and her husband wouldn't notice until Christmas at least!
casmgn gave some good advice.
My daughter and her DH have very different taste, but found that going window shopping, and looking through magazines and catalogs together (just looking and allowing each other to point out various things that they liked without arguing), they actually found styles that they both liked and feel that they could live with.
Once you have a basic style that makes you both feel good, you can find ways to incorporate bits of each of your personalities into your home and everyone will be happy.
Oh yes, mostly because H has no vision and he thinks that dark cherry wood is the answer to everything.
I'm a bad wife - I always win. The only battle i've lost has been my quest to get one of these bad boys (I'm from Florida originally and have always wanted one! - but it doesn't go with the house at all)
My winning argument is that the house is my baby and the longer he lets me work on it, the longer it will be before I want a real baby.
We haven't had too many issues. DH is pretty easy going about this stuff. But I run everything by him. i know comfort is his greatest concern. Generall I find a piece, he says fine, we go with it. Usually if he finds something I don't like it and it gets nixed. But he just sees something "cool" and doesn't think about how it'll fit (or won't fit) in to the house. he just thinks it is "cool". like he wants a Turkish rug. Great! Expensive, however... and except for the fact that our hoome isn't formal I would probably be open to that. So we are looking for a style that is less formal but still has that traditional pattern (well, at least I've been looking) so that his taste is incorporated as well.
Overall our house is a mish mosh of stuff because of our travels, but it is shaping up to be a warm, cozy place and I think that suits both our styles.
This is my life exactly! "Why do you need a new coffee table? The one the dog chewed on/my parents handed down to us is just fine!"
Yes, DH and I have polar opposite tastes when it comes to decor and furniture. I totally agree with the previous posters who suggested picking your battles--we have a hutch that I inherited and always planned on painting, but Justin loves them the way that they are. I have always hated them, but he really, really loves them, so I do what I can to live with them (I backed the shelves of the hutch with removable scrapbook paper to help liven it up and modernize it a bit, and it made a big difference).
I also suggested that since he really loves the hutch and buffet, maybe we could compromise by keeping those, but getting rid of his super ugly, doesn't match dining room table that his PARENTS got it as a hand-me-down when he was a kid and build a farmhouse table (which I've always wanted) that's stained to match the hutch/buffet instead. And you know what? Once we do that, I think I'll actually really like the room, even though it's probably not something that I would have initially picked as an inspiration picture all on my own, you know?
PS- Also, watching shows like Secrets from a Stylist together has helped a ton, oddly!