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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
What do you say to someone that is potentially suicidal? *UPDATE*
She kind of has a shiit life. Bad things, over and over. And she just texted me that she wants to quit. Life.
.....
Jesus. I don't know if she's serious.
ETA update: I called her boyfriend, who she's known way longer. He called her and talked her down. She's fine.
Thank you all for the advice. Except nunya, because she is pretty dumb.
Shot first, questions later.
Re: What do you say to someone that is potentially suicidal? *UPDATE*
Call the police or the national suicide hotline at 1-800-273-8255
This. If you think she is serious, call 911.
This, absolutely. Do not waste time thinking she might not be serious. Go, NOW.
If you think she is serious - has a plan, has the means, has a time frame in mind - send the police to her house for a welfare check. Even if she doesn't meet that criteria, or hasn't shared that with you, if you think she's serious, send the police to her house.
If you think she'll open up to you beyond that and can try to get her talking then do that. Avoid 'why' questions because she may feel like you are judging her.
Encourage her to find and see her strengths. Everyone has strengths. Everyone.
Her friendship with you - her ability to maintain that relationship - is a strength.
Do you know her address? Call 911!
NO! JFC. Fcuk.
Thank you.
The hotline will most likely tell u to call911 that's what they did for me....and told me to take care of myself too
We are told to directly ask if they have plans to kill themselves or want to harm themselves, but I think that is meant more for a face to face conversation. I would have a hard time not asking her if she is serious. Because I say things like that to my friends, but I don't actually mean it and would die if cops showed up at my door. How close are you to her? (relationship wise not distance)
Do you know anyone where she is?
Call the national suicide line that I gave you, they will contact her local PD. Either that or dial your 911 and tell them where your friend lives and they will refer the call out. If you know her cell number, they (police) will call her carrier to try to get an estimated location if she is not home. I work on the phone carrier side of that exact scenario.
She's already in contact with the police. Her apartment got broken into and cleaned out. No insurance. Had cash in the house.
OMG I'm freaking out. She is still texting me.
I don't know if I would list having a home as one of her strengths right now.
Does she have a job? Car or access to reliable public transportation? Medical insurance? Relationship with her family? Is she reasonably healthy? Educated? She has to see everything that she has going for her even if those things may seem silly or trivial at this point.
I can't tell if she's reaching out to you because she wants help. If that's the case then that is another strength.
Do you know anyone that lives near her that could go to her? Can you look up her address online? Just because she's dealing with cops for a burglary doesn't mean they know to look for signs of self harm. Letting them know what she's going through will only help.
If she has a plan, or even if she just sounds serious, time for some real talk about checking into a treatment facility.
we all fall down sometimes
brass and ballet flats
I would try calling her rather than continuing to text with her. So then you can tell her you're worried about her, and ask her if she's serious, and tell her that you care about her. Sometimes people just need to know that someone actually gives a damn about them. If she refuses to pick up the phone when you try calling, then text her. And let her know that you love her and that you hope she's not serious and that you are there for her and will do whatever you can to show her you value her.
Do they know she is also suicidal? I think you need to stop texting her and have them do a welfare check.
All great advice above BUT FIRST: Be sure to keep checking other threads on ML and post "lol" comments. That will help.
Oh wait, looks like you got that covered. Swell job.
Call her. See if she'll call the hotline. The hotline I worked for will NOT automatically call the police. They didn't even trace the calls. All we could do was offer and, if they said yes, do it. We would also offer to call a therapist or a parent. Nothing you say will push her closer to doing it. Nothing that comes of this is your fault.
Find out if she has a plan and the means. If she has the means (pills, gun, whatever), ask that she put them in another room while she talks to you. See if she'll allow you to call the police to send them to her house.
If she won't call a hotline or police, keep her talking. Does she have family? Friends? Ask about them. Talk about who will miss her. Validate her pain. Not the suicidal thoughts, but that yeah, things are really shiitty. See if you can help her explore other solutions. If you can get her to change course for one day, that may be all it takes. I've been on both sides. If she's telling you, that's a good sign. A lot of people, when they hit that point, if they're ready to do it, they do it.
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
I don't think you need to call 911, or a hotline... just give her a call and talk to her. Maybe ask for her address so you can 'send her something.' (??)
If after that - you still think she is going to do it... take further action.
Sorry - I'm sure this is a sucky position to be in
I would get her on the phone and just let her talk. Chicks don't typically check out. They talk talk talk talk talk until they feel better.
Don't freak out. she's not going to do anything. But call her so she can vent a bit
I was taught this for hotline counseling as well.
Learn the plan. The risk is much much higher if there is one in place. Keep them on the phone and try to get info on where they are so that you can alert the authorities. This was for complete strangers of course, but you should definitely take her seriously.