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Has anyone put a pet down for aggression? (sad, and long)
Good evening all,
My H and I are at a crossroads with our 6.5 year old dog, and I'm wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience. I'll try to keep it brief. Please no flames, I'm sick to my stomach over this already. I will DD later.
For the last 2 years or so, our bulldog has been having aggressive "incidents", always directed at my H and myself. Well, actually only once at me and it was a different situation - I snatched away a dirty tissue he was "playing" with and he went after me. Not good, but understandable. I just wasn't thinking at the time.
Back to the situation at hand. These incidents occur when my H is petting him. It will start out totally normal, dog comes up wagging his tail, wanting attention, H pets/rubs/scratches him and then dog growls, snaps, lunges, snarls, and on occasion, bites. He is a bulldog, very powerful, and very large (tall, not fat) for his breed, so these bites are serious. He bit me over a year ago and I still have very visible scars.
I will be the first to admit, H does not use good judgement when it comes to physically interacting with the dog. These incidents always happen when either the dog can't see who is touching him, feels "crowded", or the touching has gone on too long or in a sensitive spot. I recognize these triggers and I don't touch him for extensive lengths of time (a few pats, a quick scratch, etc), I don't touch him when it's dark or when he's sleepy, I don't crouch over him. But H doesn't seem to retain this information - a few months go by without incident and H reverts back to old behavior, the dog attacks, rinse and repeat.
I know that H is to blame, as well as myself. He knows it too and feels very guilty, but it doesn't seem to correct his behavior. I don't know what to do.
Our dog does have some medical issues that exacerbate this problem. He has had several eye surgeries and doesn't see well. He gets yeast infections and itchy skin, and is prone to ear infections. He has TMJ. We have worked extensively with several vets on these issues. He is on special food for the yeast and ear infections. He has weekly chiropractic visits for his TMJ. He is supposed to have daily eye drops, but neither my husband nor I is comfortable wrestling with him to administer them, so that's an issue.
We have also worked with a trainer, and a behaviorist.
(lest it sound like our dog has a miserable life, let me say that we interact with him a lot. I pet him frequently, just not for a long time. We play, and he spends a lot of time with us. Overall he is a happy dog.)
I have no idea what to do. I have no trust in our dog - every single interaction with him is stressful. I have extreme anxiety every time H interacts with him. We cannot have anyone over because he is not trustworthy. When we board him when we go out of town, I freeze at every phone call, thinking it's the kennel calling to report a bite (to be clear, he has never so much as growled at anyone but us).
Again, I recognize our part in this. I truly do and it makes me sick. But I am at a loss in how to proceed. I feel like the only option is to put him down. I can't seem to make my H understand how to interact with him, and to be honest even if I could, I would still never be able to trust our dog completely. We would like to start a family and I simply won't consider it with the current situation.
This is completely unfair to the dog and I realize that. I am horrified at the idea of putting him down because we could not get this under control, but I don't know what else to do. Rehoming him is not an option, I would not want to put anyone else at risk, and rescues won't take him. I just can't live like this anymore. I'm absolutely broken-hearted. Maybe it doesn't sound like it, but I love my dog very, very much. I hate that he never gets to go anywhere but the vet and the kennel. Never gets to visit with our friends and family, never gets long tummy rubs and snuggles.
I know if we put him down I will regret it for the rest of my life. I know that. But, and maybe this is awful, I can't choose the dog over our lives. And we can't continue like this.
Please no flames. If you have been in a similar situation, or have advice or insight, I would very much appreciate it. I will DD later. Thank you!
Re: Has anyone put a pet down for aggression? (sad, and long)
Been there. However, I chose to keep my dog. When people were here, I put him upstairs with a bone or bully stick.
My husband would try to pet/play with him, be the one to feed him etc but gave up after a few years of being attacked. Finally, he just ignored him or avoided the triggers. My dog would let him run around the yard with him, though.
The trainer told me it's behavioral. Because I was never the dog's leader, the dog stepped in-----even though he did not want to be the leader. I put him in a position he did not want to be in.
I have not made the same mistake with my current dogs! Trust me on that one.
Perhaps the vision problem is compounding the problem.
I hear you about not wanting to have kids or having company over. I had such anxiety when someone was at the house.
Aside from that, I loved the hell out of that dog. I put up with a lot of BS, missed out on a lot, b/c I couldn't leave him with anyone.
He bit me a couple times, but for the most part, he was fine with me. I learned the triggers quickly.
In the last years of his life I met a fantasticdog trainer. Showed me EVERYTHING that I did wrong. WIsh I had met him when I first got this dog. It would have been totally different.
Sorry I can't be more help to you.
ETA: I also worried about what would happen when we had children. However, my dog died of kidney failure when he was 14 1/2, no kids.
I heard it all the time that I should put my dog down. However, I didn't have kids, he had a great life, and I was responsible for him. I figured I could wait it out.
Have you taken your dog to see a vet, for a complete physical checkup?
ANimals, like people, can get snappish and moody and have a personality change if they are ill. Somebody I know found out that her poor dog had a stroke. And that's why the dog was so hostile.:(
Oh yes. We have worked extensively with 2 vets (same practice), 1 eye specialist and the chiropractor, and they are fully aware of these issues. We have done, and are doing, everything possible to make him as comfortable as he can be with the issues he has.
It really sounds like you've done everything that is usually suggested for an aggressive dog.
It also sounds like there isn't a safe way to keep him in your home.
My only other suggestion would be a basket muzzle, so that he can breathe/drink normally but isn't as able to bite. But it also sounds like he'd need to wear it virtually 24/7, & I'm not sure that would be fair to him.
Some dogs are dangerous, no matter how badly we wish they weren't. I hope you are able to come to terms with whichever decision you make.
I haven't been in your shoes, but one of my dogs has behavioral issues, which are very stressful to us (so I have a taste of what you might be going through). (((hugs)))
How is your dog with the Chiro? I'm curious because it would seem like being touched in that way would trigger aggression.
Also what did the behaviorist recommend?
I tend to agree with one of the pp that maybe you could do a muzzle. That way if he has an outburst at least you/your H won't end up bitten. I'm sure he can get used to the muzzle over time.
GL!
I had a similar dog, although he wasn't aggressive towards us because we practiced NILF, but he was aggressive towards other people who approached him. A lot of his behavior got better with us when we stopped giving him attention when he demanded it. I noticed in your post you stated that he will come to you, look to be petted, you will pet him and then it will escalate. I had to call my dog over to me to let him know I was in charge of when he was petted.
We worked with 4 different dog behaviorists and the vets and could not make things work. The last behaviorist said that some dogs are born without social skills or develop anxiety/fear aggression to deal with situations that make them uncomfortable. As the amount of times fear aggression works, they keep doing it. Our dog had not had enough bad experiences to where he could be turned around so we chose to return him to his breeder. In our situation, we could not control our environment and that was the crux of our problem.
If you want to keep your pup, I would consider a basket muzzle as PP mentioned and possibly some medication for him. Have you worked with a dog behaviorist to see if these behaviors have a chance of being turned around? I would listen to what a behaviorist had to say and go from there.
I will say this though - living with a dog like this is very stressful and I understand how you feel. We may not know what is best for you and your husband and your pup, so no matter what anyone says on here - you have to trust yourself to make the right decision for everyone involved in this situation.
Ugh! I'm so sorry you are going through this. As I was reading your post my first thought was to have you husband change his behavior because you said he doesn't use good judgement.
But then I read the part about you wanting to start a family. While you and your husband understand what triggers your dog's behavior, a baby would not know that and it would be too dangerous.
I always say "never put a dog down". But I just don't know in this situation. If it was just you and your DH, I'd go with the others recommendations, but if you are putting off starting a family because of your dog....well, that's totally different.
Sorry, I don't have much advice, but am so sorry you have to deal with this.
Thank you. We did order a muzzle for him, mostly so we can give him the eye drops he needs without a bite, but we are still working up the courage to attempt it.
First - I would look into a muzzle for short nosed dogs. They make custom muzzles that would a) allow you to put in his eye drops without fear and b) allows your dog to interact with you without going for biting.
Dogs are quick learners - when he realizes that aggression and biting won't work (because of the muzzle) he will be forced to learn new ways to interact with you and your husband.
EDIT: Just saw you already have the muzzle. You need to keep it on him ALL THE TIME. He needs to know that you are the boss and you say when he can use his mouth to react to things.
Also, if your dog is at all partially blind your husband CANNOT be startling him out of sleep. Even if your dog isn't blind it is not recommended to startle your dog out of sleep. Some dogs are fine, but many react with agression and fear.
Second, I would find a trainer that you and your husband can work with so that your husband can learn the dogs triggers as well.
Bulldogs are stubborn, but they CAN be taught. And lots of aggressive dogs can be rehabilitated, but it takes time and energy.
You didn't say if you have an English or an American, but please consider an all breed rescue before euthanasia. You can also try SNORT rescue if you're in the northeast. They take all brachycephalic dogs - http://www.snortrescue.org/
-- Thoughts become things, choose the good ones! --
See this is my worst fear, that it will escalate and we will get seriously hurt. Or worse, that someone else will.
I am so sorry you are going through this. We had a dog like this. We rescued a pit bull from a bad situation. He was kept in a cage in a garage for most of the first year of his life. He had little interaction with people and other dogs and didn't know how to act like a dog. He didn't know what to do when people pet him and he never played with toys etc. because he never had that before. He would always try and attack out other dog and we had to keep them separate all the time. We worked with a behaviorist for 2 years, had him on anti anxiety medicine, etc. The medicine and behaviorist helped a little but he still didn't act like a normal dog would.
We had an incident where he slipped through a door and attacked our other dog and while we were trying to separate them he bit my husband and he had to get 13 stitches. He had also bit my husband a couple other times before but never needing stitches.
After that we realized we had done everything for this dog and he would never be a normal dog. It killed us but we ultimately put him down. We knew it was the best thing for him cause he was always stressed out. We knew we gave him the best life we could and we did a lot more than most people would. We felt he had the best chance to get better with us but it was never going to happen.
It's not an easy decision and I'm so sorry you have to go through this
He is fine with the Chiro. He is fine with the vet, the groomer, the kennel... Everyone but us. That's part of the guilt, because I feel like if we could just get ourselves in the right place, we could avoid this. But I don't know how to do that.
The trainer and the behaviorist both recommended working on basic obedience to build and strengthen our relationship with him. Which we do. And while he's not perfect, he's pretty obedient. For a bulldog anyways!
We do have a muzzle, we haven't used it yet. But we couldn't leave it on him all the time, it's only for giving eye or ear drops, clipping nails, that kind of thing.
What is NILF? (I will look up) I totally get what you're saying about calling him to us for affection/attention and we do do that as well. But we also have to balance it with his triggers - we have learned the hard way that sometimes, for whatever reason, he does not want to be touched. So we try to respect that, and do our best to create good situations for interaction. For example, he comes running when we get home, and that's always a good time for some affection and playing.
We have worked with a behaviorist, and followed their instructions. It hasn't helped. Both the behaviorist and the vet recommended against medication - they said it would lower his inhibitions, which is not what we need!
Thanks for sharing your experience, I'm sorry that happened.
NILF-Nothing in Life is Free. It's a training method that emphasizes positive reinforment, among other things.
I'm so sorry you and your H are dealing with this, it must be so stressful
It sounds like you've gotten some good suggestions from the other posters here so I won't tell you the same stuff again. I really hope you guys are able to find a solution, but if you aren't able to and euthanasia is truly the only option left I hope you're both able to find peace with your decision and not beat yourselves up over it.
Darkling_glory-FYI, the vast majority of rescues will not take on a dog with a history of biting humans due to the huge liability involved (what if they adopt the dog out and it bites someone else?).
OSULori - that is true, but there are a lot that will. The rescue that I personally volunteer for does and they post a disclaimer in that dogs bio that states "X HAS A BITE HISTORY" clear as day. The adoption contract clears them of all liability.There ARE rescues that do take in dogs with bite histories and try to rehabilitate them. I'm pretty sure SNORT is one, which is why I recommended it.
EDIT: But I just saw the OP is in California which renders my recommendation useless since SNORT is on the east coast.
Note: I didn't recc my rescue because it's breed specific.
-- Thoughts become things, choose the good ones! --
I would find a board certified veterinary behaviorist (a DVM who has done a residency in behavior - like a human psychiatrist) to further discuss medication. The behaviorist is not a vet and really should not be giving advice at medication at all (most of them will recommend consulting a vet, but not overstep into whether medication is or is not appropriate or what kinds to try). A regular vet is not enough in this situation. I'm sure there is some dog somewhere who will not be helped by meds, but it strikes me as strange to completely rule out meds without trying anything - there are so many different types of medications out there and they don't all lower inhibitions - they work at the root cause/neurochemistry of the fear or aggression. There are some conditions that cannot simply be managed behaviorally. If you've already consulted a certified vet behaviorist, then I would find another one for a second opinion.
http://www.dacvb.org/resources/find/
Feel free to email me - jendusk at yahoo dot com if you want more info on vet behaviorists. We've been seeing a vet behaviorist for two years for one of our dogs and it is a huge difference.
Dusk is a wise woman and I would ditto everything she said. I think meds can work and would definitely look into Nothing in Life is Free.
I am busy at work so I haven't read the other responses so sorry if what I say has been covered and it may be the unpopular opinion.
We had a dog named Bauer, he is and always be my heart dog. He was aggressive to everyone. He would go to people begging for pets and then bite them when they pet him but he would activly seek out DH and attack him for no reason. We tried many things to get him to be less aggressive and sometimes he was good but sometimes he would just wake up out of a sleep and go after DH. He bit both of us a few times and we still have the scars.
Unfortunately this story does not have a happy ending. After almost a year of working with him we chose to have him put to sleep. We could not give him to a rescue since he was too dangerous and every trainer and behavioist I talked to said he would not get better.
Your case may be different and meds could help, I would at least give them a shot (they are helping my current dog who attacks my other dog) but they did not help Bauer. I still think of him very single day and I miss him so much but I know deep down I made the right choice for us and him.
ETA: I just saw some responses and I would second a soft leather basket muzzle (I got one for my dog who attacks my other dog on Amazon for like $12). It is great because we can work with her without worrying about her hurting the other dog. It is soft and comfortable so she can wear it all the time without it bothering her.