Married Life
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Do you like making choices for other people?
Want to make major life decisions for me?
"There's unlimited juice? This party is gonna be off the hook."-Buster Bluth
Re: Do you like making choices for other people?
Yes and yes!
WIIIIIIIIIIIIIILD!!
What kind of choices???
Forget-Me-Nots: Alaska State Flower
YES!
Ok, basics...dh and I live in San Diego. My family is here, and I'm very close to them. I've always dreamed of raising a family near my family. I also love it here. Dh's family is from New York (upstate).
Should we move to NY, where we could afford a house (right now). Or should we try to buy a condo here?
Also, if I really don't like the career I went to graduate school for, should I just quit it? Find something new? Or should I finish the last few things I need to do (would require at least a year, once I find the appropriate job).
And, when should I have a baby. I'm 29, dh is 30. We've been together 10 years, married 6 years (yeah yeah yeah...we were bebes).
And GO!
HI!!
All kinds of big ones...that I'm afraid to make. Or feel unprepared to make. Or don't know how to make....
I live in sd as well! I think this is the best place. I cannot bet impartial here.
But. Before I opened your post, I said
No
Boston
3
Does any of this make sense.
I'm going to take that as
NO=don't move
Boston=quit!
3=have 3 babies, and NOW
So clearly I have some choices I'd like to make...but I am so doubtful...ah! I don't want to grow up!
Wild, in all the time I've known you (almost 6 years now?) you've struggled with the choices you've made. If they were truly the right choices, you wouldn't be struggling with them so much. Give yourself a break for once and follow your heart. Quit trying to do "the right thing" and do what feels good FOR YOU!!
I spent years struggling to do "the right thing" because I thought that's what other people expected of me. When I finally did what I wanted to do, I started being happy and comfortable in my own skin. I wish the same for you. (((hugs)))
Forget-Me-Nots: Alaska State Flower
Sounds like a plan Stan.
Where in sd?
Ah! Flexie. I'm crying. I'm such a sap.
You know the thing that really gets me is...I keep thinking "I always do the right thing...why aren't things working out the way I think they should". I feel angry at the universe b/c I've always been "good" and "responsible" and yet I tend to think I have "bad luck"...but I suppose it's not all luck.
To hear you say stop dong the "right thing" really....resonates. I feel like my entire life that's all I've been trying to do. No matter what. Because I assumed it was what I was suppose to do.
Thank you. And thank you for all the past support you've given me. I remember all your words of wisdom when I was a newlywed, very unsure, woman. And I will forever be thankful for that. (I clearly owe you an email...).
For the past few weeks I've felt like something big is going to happen, but I think it's that I want something big to happen.
Tomorrow, I will talk to dh. Tomorrow!
Downtown-ish. I hesitate to say much else...b/c I know there are lurkers (hell, often I am a lurker...haha).
I can pm you, if you really really want to know 
I think wanting to do "the right thing" is just because a lot of us are people pleasers. But as we get a little bit older (like 29 and up lol) we start to realize it's not going to work out if we don't feel the REAL right thing which is in our heart. : )
Please, please talk to dh tomorrow. Don't let it slide any longer! ((double hugs))
Forget-Me-Nots: Alaska State Flower
I am such a people pleaser. I think that probably played a role into the profession I chose.
I am definitely not going to wait.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. And ((hugs back)).
ps. I'm going to email you soon. I've missed talking with you.
It'll be great to hear from you! : )
Be sure to tell everyone I said hi!
Forget-Me-Nots: Alaska State Flower
You can expect an email by tomorrow
I will definitely say hi!
I just wanted to say that I can completely resonate with your unsettledness in decision making.
I am going through similar feelings trying to figure out career, grad school and babies. Good luck with whatever you decide.
I just moved to San Diego.
Why don't we just rent a big house together?
(I remember you from back in the day, right? Or was that a different wildswans?)
Welcome to San Diego
Yes! Let's rent a big house. On the beach
I work in a nice neighborhood, and whenever I park I just stare at the houses. And then I come home to my tiny apartment.
I use to post a lot in 2005/2006. Then stopped. So it could be me.
Do not move to upstate NY. It blows.
Choose a career that makes you happy and the other things will work out.
Be happy in your career and then have kids.
Good luck, you seem like a very nice person
I love Vancouver. I lived in a tiny shoebox downtown there but was surrounded by the ocean and mountains and amazing city and was happy as a clam. I hate Calgary. We had a big beautiful house there in a nice hood and everything i thought i wanted and I was miserable. You don't need a house to be happy. Some places are worth living in under less than 'ideal' circumstances.
What I hear is that you love SD, you want to be near your family, and you want a baby so the answer seems clear to me. You already have the life you want, you just have to learn to enjoy it.
Whuuuuuuu? I'm in little Italy !!