Sad question for those who've lost a pet

Vanessa Doofenshmirtz

After 7 months of lymphoma (beating his prognosis of 6-8 weeks) today is the day. We are struggling with timing. He's a stoic dog and never indicates pain. He's lying in our mini-jungle, back corner of our yard, full of trees and honey suckle. He never sleeps back there, just hides toys and takes quick breaks from the heat. It's a beautiful day, pleasant temps, I don't know whether to just let him be where he's happiest and wait for things to progress or cause him stress by putting him in car and going to vet. He doesn't like going to the vet, understandably. I want to do what's right by him. Don't want him to suffer longer than he should, vs. dying in a familiar, comfortable place. Am also struggling whether to go pull my 4 year old from school. He has autism. I don't if he'll wish he'd said goodbye, but I also hesitate for him to see Marley this way. He's known for 7 months Marley is sick and going to heaven, we've talked about it a lot this week. Opinions welcome.

OSULori

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this (  Would your vet be willing to come to your house instead of you having to bring him in? 

SparrowGreen

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this

I haven't yet lost a pet as an adult, so I don't have as much advice as some people on this board will.  One thought: will your vet make house calls?  Some vets are willing to travel to you so your dog can be in his comfortable home environment when he passes.  Even if your vet doesn't, it might be worth seeing if you can find one in your area who will.

Everyone always says that you will know when it's time.  Big hugs to you and your family.    

YellowUmbrella

I'm so, so sorry. Can your vet come out to your house (or recommend someone that offers that service)?

mainerocks

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

I lost my cat last November and similarly, he kept going to the basement to curl up on a chair. I think he was looking for a place to pass away. For me, I didn't want his end to be painful, and I didn't want him to be alone, so I chose to take him to the vet. Maybe I should have had a mobile vet come to our house (there are some that do so in my area), but I was terrified and selfishly wanted to be in the vet's office as I had no idea what to expect. I also wanted to leave that sad place with a sad memory behind.

He passed peacefully with the vet's assistance and it was the right thing for us. My LO was too young to know so at least there was that. I'm not sure what you should do about your son. If he's known this is coming, perhaps his good-byes have already been forming in his heart and this will be OK? I don't think I would have my child watch. I think the pet looks asleep, and I think that's hard for a kid to comprehend. I don't know though.

I wish you much strength in this difficult time.

pennypie07

Hugs. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I would try for a house call, if at all possible. And actually, this post is going to make me check with my vet (and maybe a few others) so that I know who to go to if I'm ever faced with a similar situation. None of our animals have any health issues, but a couple are seniors.

kristinanddan

Is your vet willing to come to your home? If not, maybe he could recommend another vet who could? If your dog doesn't like the vet, I would try to avoid the extra stress on him if possible.

I have no advice on your son, but you will make the right decision.

I'm very sorry that you have to say goodbye today. I know how heartwrenching it is.  

kristinanddan

mainerocks:

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

I lost my cat last November and similarly, he kept going to the basement to curl up on a chair. I think he was looking for a place to pass away. 

Our first dog growing up did this as well. She was blind, deaf, and could barely walk, but one day when my mom was walking her in the yard, she started pulling like crazy towards the woods (where she never went). My mom knew then that the dog was ready and it was time.

LuckyAngel07

I'm so so sorry for this difficult time. Huge supportive hugs to you.

I went through a very similar situation with the cat I got while in college. He was just 3 when his time came (a malignant lung tumor); I knew without a doubt that his battle was lost and made the arrangements to take him in to the vet. At the time, I didn't even know there were vets who would make housecalls for this type of thing. As it was, I don't think he had the energy to be upset about going to the vet's office. In the end, I was there with him, stroking him and letting him know how much I loved him, and I think that's what mattered most, not so much where we were.

The decision to include your son or not is a personal one. At 4, I don't think I'd want my child there with me when it happened, but I'd want him to know our pet was on his way to heaven.

hboo2011

I'm so sorry this is happening. I agree w PP's though. Many vets will make house calls for those types of reasonings. I have no advice regarding your child as I have no experience/no children of my own yet. I hope for a peaceful future with whatever lies ahead.

landosmommy

Just wanted to say I'm so sorry you are going through this. It's a very tough thing to deal with. We had to put our dog to sleep last July after having a bad back injury. Even after surgery he didn't get better. 

But I do agree with PP, perhaps your vet could do a house call. I hope everything works out for you! Big (((hugs))). 

straymo

I'm sorry.  This is always a decision none of us want to have to make, but we do out of the kindness for our animals. 

I can't answer the question regarding your child, but I ditto pps and see if your vet can make a house visit.  Ours did and I was so grateful for that.  Our Tillie was able to die in place she was most comfortable.  Even if your vet will not make a house visit, there are also mobile vets who perform this service.  My old boss used such a service.  They will also take the animal for cremation (as did my vet).  We had time to get a paw imprint and clip some hair as a keepsake.

I wasn't sure if you were asking about letting nature takes it course or not, but I would not.  I wanted Tillie's passing to be as peaceful and painfree as possible and it was just that.  If she would have gone on her own, I have no idea how terrible that could have been or how long such a thing would take etc. 

(((HUGS)))

callitcompulsive

I'm so sorry ((hugs)) this is never easy to go through.

I agree with PP's about seeing if your vet can make a trip to your place so he can pass in a comfortable environment without added stress.

Unfortunately when my cat (who also had lymphoma) passed away, the cancer was affecting his nervous system, so when the time came, he hardly realized he was in the car, going to the vet...

I'm so sorry, again. I don't have any advice for your son, just use your gut. A mother's instinct is never wrong

Again, I'm so sorry, it's so unfair that pets have shorter lives than their human counterparts. 

destination09

You've already gotten some good advice and I can tell from your post that you are kind and will make the right decision for your furbaby and human child.  I'm so sorry you're going through this.  I had to put my cat down just a couple weeks ago and it is very difficult.  Wishing you peace and strength at this difficult time.

naybride04

We had to put my childhood cat down almost 2 years ago. It was heart wrenching, but in the end, the best decision. It was time. She hated going to the vet so I had the vet come to us for a small extra fee. DD2 was an infant at the time and napping when he came over. We arranged for my mom to take DD1 (who was 4) out for a walk to get ice cream while we put her down. We had been preparing her and telling her Pearl was old and sick and would go to heaven soon. That day, we told her to say goodbye to Pearl because she was going to go to heaven that day. She handled it quite well. We bought her the book "Cat Heaven" by Cynthia Rylant which is a beautiful, comforting book. She also wrote the book "Dog Heaven" which is similar that I highly recommend. DD1 still talks about Pearl and how much she misses her and loves her. She has drawn pictures of her in heaven. We have a new kitty now and while she doesn't replace Pearl, she does fill some of that void. Good luck in your decision-it's not an easy one to make, but the one final act of love we can do for our pets. Hugs.