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What would you do?
I saw a mother pull a young girl about 2 years of age out of her carseat, swat her on the butt and then essentially drop her bottom first on to the asphalt parking lot. The girl wasnt really crying.
I have never before intervened when I see a parent swat a kids on the rear because usually figure they are havoing a bad morning etc. Nor would I have said anything this time except for the drop to the asphalt. I walked over to the lady and asked if shed like me to push the kids in a cart for her while she shopped. She chuckled and said no she was fine that the little girl had just biten her brother and it was the fourth time today she had "done something violent to her brother?" ??? The little girl did not have any visible bruises or marks/injuries I could see and she was dressed in really short shorts and short sleeve shirt. The boy looked fine.
I went on in to the store. As I was leaving I asked the cashier (who has been in that store for years) if shed ever seen mom be abusive to the kids etc. She said no, she strict but has never seen her be mean to the kids. I left it at that.
Should I have done more? Or did I already cross a line by asking if I could help her? I felt bed about approaching her becuase weve all had those horrible toddler tantrum days but a little agaahst at how she dropped the kid. Also it wasnt just me, another shopper whos kid goes to scfhool with mine ran over to me to ask if Id seen what he saw.
Re: What would you do?
I think you did the right thing. I felt kinda shocked when I read what you saw so I can imagine seeing it being jarring.
I feel a popcorn GIF coming on...
I don't have a problem with the swat, as we will swat the booty once if repeated time-outs and other discipline methods haven't changed a behavior.
But the dropping onto the asphalt? Excessive and as if the mom indeed lost control at that point.
I'm also interested that the kid, based on your perception, wasn't really crying. Makes me wonder if the mom's entire disciplinary system is effective at all, and I say that because usually my kids are crying at least by the 2nd time-out, if not before.
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Mine has that habit, too.
*cough Nae*
Honey, Nae will fall out making it look like I'm manhandling her little behind. No one believes that little darling does that until it happens to them. Nae will also stretch out as stiff as a board in protest.
And I'm sorry, a swat on the bottom =/= physical abuse. And I'mma say this, unless you are watching a kid get punched in the face, choked the fuuccks out, arms twisted where they wince in pain, don't automatically assume that the child is being abused and go on a fishing expedition looking for a reason to call CPS.
Nah man! Not Baby Liu! She's too precious for that!
This was my first thought...I don't even have my own kids and I've had many that just threw (or tried to throw) themselves out of my arms, as babies, toddlers, etc. Kids are kamikaze motherfckers and have no fear of falling. Even if the mom was irritated when she pulled the kids out of the car, that doesn't mean she purposely dropped/threw her kid on the ground.
I think what you did was over the top, but I get that you felt like you had to do your due diligence. I wouldn't really worry about this much further.
I'm sitting right here with you.
Then there was the time pinky pulled some shennanigans and petey started yelling NO NO MOMMY DON'T CHOKE MY SISTER OUT!!!!
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If half pint is upset and not getting her way, she's been known to throw herself face first to the ground. Then scream to high heaven that she's hurt. It sucks.
Oh to have been a fly on the wall.
LMAO. Do you also do the "Look, I will choke you out" joking threat too? I have a joking threat: "What are you doing? Mane look, don't do that. That's how folks get shot." Of course I don't mean it, but I grew up in North Memphis. Folks get shot for stepping on tennis shoes and eating someone else's food. *cue Boondocks N-Word Moment*
DS loves to throw himself back on the floor (or just back), especially if I'm trying to do something he doesn't want to do at the time (high-chair, car seat, practicing walking and then he has had enough). That said, I can definately see if I told him "no" and he didn't like it and I was taking him out of the car seat, he'd squirm and throw himself down - kids have tantrums and do it.
I didn't see it - you did, but it sounds like mom gave him a pat on the bottom, tried to take him out of the seat and he was throwing himself down in protest. They are slippery little devils when they don't want to do something. I wouldn't intervene over this. Now, if she started beating or slapping the child in the face and you saw her throw the kids down violently, that's a different story and I'd call the police if I saw something like that.
Although I don't believe in spanking at all, I'd be pretty irritated IF I gave DS a pat on the bottom after he bit his sibling, tried to take him out of the car and he threw himself down in protest and a stranger approached me offering to "help me" with my own children like I was some sort of abusive a-hole. Many times, this is not the case when you see this stuff with small kids. The fact that the kid wasn't really reacting does say something about the situation.
That's what daycare always says! But that child has almost drowned herself on more than one occassion throwing herself down in a fit when it was time to get her hair washed.
Publius, they were only like 18 months old and 3!! Oh god, I was sooo embarrassed. But it's totally my fault, I have a habit of issuing over the top threats that make me feel better but have no power. You know, rolling your eyes heavenward and sighing in exacerbation while muttering ridiculous shiit? aka I'm gonna punch you in the eyeball if you don't stop screaming. Yeah, that was the choke you out phase. lol
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Wait - I didn't see this in the original story - what happened with the dad, why did he approach you?
I hate this phase. I swear. Nae is already there. With T the tantrum phase started at 18months. Nae is already doing the fling herself back and hit her head bit. She did it last week because of something I did but she didn't want to do. Miss Thing tried to fling herself backward but she hit her head on the closet door (not hard enough to injure herself). I just looked at her and said "Un huh. Genius moment right there. Don't get mad at me because you hurt yourself." Then I had to pick her up and calm her down. Toddler Logic.
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Biting makes my skin crawl. I'm not saying to break out the belt on the kids but that's some serious harm one kid is causing another.
I dunno what I'd do with two toddlers in the back who were able to bite and hit each other. And no room to do a sensible time out in the car. I think I'd honestly go the route of getting everyone a bag of candy to keep them occupied so i could just freak get the chores done, as counter intuitive as that sounds.
I think you were right to intervene the way you did. Sometimes if a stranger just says something - anything - it helps defuse the parent.
Random: DD was out in the front yard with us the other day w/o a shirt on and carrying/drinking a can of soda. It was one of those moments where I really wanted to take a pic but I knew I shouldn't.
i am relieved to learn that my child isn't the only one who fakes an injury like a champions league football player.
her new thing is to pretend to fall then fake cry and say "you pushed me mommy!"
w.t.f.