Trouble in Paradise
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Need to vent
So...this isn't concerning my marriage but the marriage of my cousin. My cousin was my MOH and didn't do a thing...she only talked about her upcoming wedding and her plans instead of helping with any of mine. My other bridesmaids couldn't stand her and my MIL had to speak to her several times that this was my day, not hers. Well my wedding was last June and hers was this past Oct. She has been engaged twice to 2 different guys and has 2 kids to 2 different guys as well...she is a downer on my family and uses my grandparents for free daycare and takes advantage of them big time. My family constantly makes excuses for her behavior because she had a less than ideal childhood. Anways, her husband is a jerk...no one likes him and he pretty much likes it that way. He brags about everything and has no consideration for anyone/anything. He really dislikes my husband and I because we are mature/responsible and really motivated - both have good jobs and are waiting a few years to start our family. My grandma recently confided in me that my cousin and her jerk husband are having a rough time and he told her that he never wanted to marry her and wishes that he didn't. He's only there for the 2 kids (which is nice but he doesn't do anything with them anyways) He is considering taking a night shift/weekend position just to get away from them without ending the marriage. I'm not to say much to our other family members but I needed a place to vent about this. I'm really upset about it because the 2 kids involved are smart, adorable, and so sweet - I love them like my own. I'm so upset to see how this hurts the kids because my cousin and her husband are never happy together and just whine and complain about everything. I always try to help out with the kids to get them out of that environment and be around positive people and allow them to play and encourage them to learn. This morning, I saw my cousin and her husband writing silly i love you messages on each others wall...I guess they may have made up for now...but part of me wishes they would just end it to get the fighting and nasty bickering away from the kids. My grandma wishes that they would end it too. The marriage has only lasted 6 months and there's already this much drama. Sorry that this is long and dramatic but just needed to get it out somewhere...does anyone else have a sibling/close relative like this too...I can't talk to my cousin about it since I'm not supposed to know that there are some relationship issues.
Re: Need to vent
How does this situation have anything to do with you? Stay out of it. I'd also ask yourself why you are spending so much time worried about someone else's life.
This whole post makes you sound like a gossip.
Keep spending time with the children and MYOB when it comes to the rest.
I'm missing something. What did Doglove say that is judgemental?
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
1) Paragraphs are your friend
2) Why did you have someone you seem to think so little of as your MOH?
3) The only responsibility anyone in the bridal party has is to show up the day of the wedding, preferably in the dress you chose and sober. Sounds like she did that.
4) She hasn't even told you any of this directly, so how can you possibly be so stressed about rumors? You & grandma both sound like gossips, MYOB.
Seconding Doglove. For one thing- what the hell does the wedding stuff have to do with any of this? Okay, so you guys got married a few months apart and she disappointed you as a MOH. Shii!t happens, build a bridge and get over it unless you're gonna hop in a time machine and go fix it. And for another thing, you're asking for the stress yourself. If gossiping about/judging some of your crappy family members (something I fully support, btw, especially to TIP because we love the dramz) is going to work you up and make you clutch your pearls over the children, you should stop doing that.
This.
The situation is less than ideal, but it is not yours.
This woman sounds like a real prize, and you would do well to distance yourself from her.
If I were to type out a response, this is exactly what I would have said.
So I guess this wouldn't be the appropriate post to vent about my busybody cousin and her inflated opinion about herself.
Carry on.
Mature individuals keep their noses out of other people's personal business.
What she does with her life is her business. You're not going to change her or the situation so it's best to stay out of it. It doesn't sound like her kids are being harmed, so just continue to spend time with them as you are and let her raise her children. Also, maybe the rest of the family should stop giving her free childcare if it only gives them more things to complain about.
The status of her marriage has nothing to do with you and your wedding has nothing to do with this situation (except, of course, a reason for you to brag about how great you are compared to your cousin).
::snicker::
I just died a little. And then had to resist the urge to dig mine up from middle school *cringe*
the mr & mrs blog
What Belichick said.
And MYOB. You will find life much less stressful when you do.
How would you feel if your Grandma was telling everyone your business, telling everyone she wishes you would end your marriage? It's not nice and it's not mature. Let them deal with their own marital problems.
Butt out and myob.