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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
How do you deal with lying kids?
E is wailing right now. She lied spout something really stupid (if she added a bunch of soap to a sponge she was using) and is now getting no dessert. I don't give a damn about the soap but this is the second time this week she looked at me and told a lie. (the other was equally stupid)
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Re: How do you deal with lying kids?
She is about a year older than P right?
How old is e?
Never questions you know the answers to, first off. "Did you eat the Oreos?" will get the answer "NO" even if they have the black crumbs in the corners of their mouths and teeth. A better statement is, "I see you ate the Oreos. I told you not to.What the??" and then figure out a punishment for the underlying crime. This cuts out at least half the lies.
Then when they just flat out make shitt up, and of course you know it's a lie, say, with a smile, "Wow. wouldnt that be funny if that was really true?" and then work your way on down to the truth. Start with (in the Oreo example) "so I see all the Oreo crumbs on your face, NON COOOKIE EATER" and then laugh. And so on.
Little kids lie because they want your approval, instantly, and if you're already mad when you ask them DID YOU EAT THE OREOS of course they're going to spout out a NO.
When your teenager looks you in the face and lies, you say "I cannot believe you just looked me in the face and LIED. I thought better of you."
Ditto what sue said, P went through a spurt of this and at the base of it was fear of getting in trouble. So I praised her for honesty, tried not to frame questions that could easily provoke a lie, and told her what would happen as a result of thing she did, rather than ascertain that she did it.
I also let small ones go, because everything I read said that if you freak out, they just lie to cover the lies, and it gets worse.
I was a terrible liar as a young child, and a big part of that was fear.
Oh yes. We did a lot of bighug "thanks for telling me what happened, it's hard sometimes isn't it?" kinds of things when they fessed up voluntarily (more or less).
sue sue, I swear to effing god you should write a parenting book. I'll edit it for extremism, lol.
Yeah that's right my name's Yauch!
Right?
Suesue if you quit TN I will be forced to get my parenting advice from Parents magazine and that will be NO GOOD. Bumpish!