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Stumbled upon by accident...
http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/65397429.aspx?MsdVisit=1
DH took out a 28K car loan for his friend and did not tell me until after the fact...
I am a bystander on the bump all the time. I really don't post much... not sure why but I guess I am lazy. 
Anyhow, I really need some advice from other level headed women out there. Please forgive me for my short, unbalanced and unedited sentences - I am on 3 hours of sleep, pregnant and chased my 20 month around all day.
So... here is what happened.
He decided to tell me after dinner last night. I tried not to get upset and explain to him why this bothered me. I think that hiding something from your spouse is the same as lying and it breaks trust. He said he knew what my reaction would be. I tried to remain rational but at 6 months pregnant hormones don't allow for much rationality. I got a little mouthy but nothing out of the ordinary for a situation like this. Somehow he managed to turn it around, call me a crazy *****, got dressed in pretty nice clothes and said you deserve this then left the house. WTF does that mean? I knew he just went to the hotel his buddy was staying out but really...he still is not home.
My husband is usually a pretty sweet guy. He treats me good but lately he has been so selfish and I feel second to his friends. He is far from home, both he and his friend are Turkish, but this does not justify leaving me out of a huge financial decision like this. To top it off, this guy was here last year and owed us 3,500 from the last time and we still don't have this money. Supposedly he is getting 30k tomorrow and another 30k next week.
This is not the first time he has sold me out and made me feel like just a "Wife."
I don't know what to do.. he is still not home.. it's been 24 hours... I am tired, my 20 month old is all over the place and not a word from him.
How selfish is this? I cannot decide if I should leave or not.. there is no talking.. he does not listen... everything I say is wrong or crazy...
I feel betrayed, second best and basically at the end of my rope. We just had one of our biggest fights a few weeks because he left me to pack our entire house and move it for a retail expo in Vegas... 6 months preggo and HIGH RISK and could not see why this was wrong! Then again turned it around on me and threatened me with divorce because I called and yelled at him in Vegas because he was still sleeping and not in the car on the way home to pack the u-haul.
On one hand I want to leave and make him know what he would be missing. What we have is so precious. Most of the time we are this perfect couple. He really is a gentle person but I feel this immaturity and selfishness is coming out TOO much lately.
HELP. WWYD?
==========================================
Holy hole in a donut...
To top it off, this guy was here last year and owed us 3,500 from the last time and we still don't have this money. Supposedly he is getting 30k tomorrow and another 30k next week.
Is this jerkoff H of hers open to making more friends? Because I'd love to be there when the gravy train with him on it pulls into the station or when the money tree he is cultivating goes into full bloom.
Show his ass the door. That is what I would do, no questions asked.
Re: Stumbled upon by accident...
JFC-- also, what kind of a$$hole leaves his pregnant wife and young child for over 24 hours with no word? WTF does "you deserve this" mean? Is he going to go out and cheat? Is he going to go out and kill himself? (I've seen it happen!) WTF?
I wonder if she updated? If it were me the walking out in and of itself would put it over. I would file divorce so quickly his douchey, in-debt head would spin.
Also, this is stupid, but I wonder if he is taking money from the mob? or someone like it? Because who the F has this kind of money just laying around?
Not that I'm ignoring the rest of this, but if the friend was getting 60K in next few weeks, couldn't he have just waited and bought the car outright with cash?
Otherwise, the DH is an azzhat.
I love how she tries to claim that he's normally a really great guy, but OH WAIT "This is not the first time he has sold me out and made me feel like just a "Wife.".
Talk about blinders. "He's a great guy, except for all those other times he's done this....".
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Apparently she has to lie to herself to put up with this behavior.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you. My Blog
I would imagine she enjoys a comfortable lifestyle without financial issues..... that might be why she is saying he is normally a 'good guy" blah blah
To top this off, there's a cultural issue involved: Turkish? Great --- like many other cultures, you will be treated like a fifth class citizen and not counted at all. By no means is he an equal and partner. He doesn't see it this way.
When my grandmother describes someone as a good man, or takes care of his wife, it's her euphemistic way of saying he pulls out.
Questionably relevant, but there you go.
Yup. I would wonder if the $$ really went to the male friend and perhaps went to another woman.
This is a nightmare amount of money -- and I'd wonder where it is he got that kind of bundle in the first place. He's got a growing family --- by virtue of the fact you're a family of 4 where there are 2 small kiddoes involved you're not exactly going to have a heap of money at your fingertips to do what you want with.
/dead
As far as the OP: I was making this face the whole time I was reading.
He sounds like a real class act. Good thing she'll now have two kids with that jerk.
That's exactly what I said over there to the OP in the thread: he's got the hots on for this "friend" of his.
Dressed up nicely? Then somebody else is on the side. Either this buddy or somebody else.
Staying is not an option.