Nervous to tell EXH that I'm moving

jaime ma famille

I'm moving to an apartment next Friday, and I haven't told EXH yet.  Currently, the children and I are still living in the townhouse that EXH and I shared together.  It has three very small bedrooms and one bathroom.  The apartment has three large bedrooms and two bathrooms, the kids will have their own bathroom that connects to their bedrooms, laundry in-unit, 24 hour maintence, free heat, free water, I won't have to pay for sewer or trash, etc.  It's just a better situation for us.  Plus, it's really emotionally stressful for me to continue living in the same house that I shared with EXH.  I think this is a good move for us. 

I do worry about what a change from a townhouse to an apartment will be like/what it will do to my kids. 

My EXH has quite a temper and I'm really nervous about telling him I'm moving.  He will be jealous for sure (he lives with his parents), he will have a problem with me going to an apartment, and he will want to look at it, probably.

Sue_sue

Have your lawyer send him a letter, advising him officially in writing of the move, and for him to contact the lawyer if he has any questions. You do not have to let him come to your new house and 'look' at it.

 

EastCoastBride

Sue_sue:

Have your lawyer send him a letter, advising him officially in writing of the move, and for him to contact the lawyer if he has any questions. You do not have to let him come to your new house and 'look' at it.

Yeah, this. 

River Pestie

EastCoastBride:

Sue_sue:

Have your lawyer send him a letter, advising him officially in writing of the move, and for him to contact the lawyer if he has any questions. You do not have to let him come to your new house and 'look' at it.

Yeah, this. 

He has no business looking at your new place. I ditto SS!

pdx18

ETA: I totally misread this post and thought you still lived together. Never mind. Totally disregard the below. And yes agree with PPs.  

I'm assuming you have a custody agreement in place and have already divided up who gets what from the house? Seeing as how he is your ex, you don't really need to tell him anything about your life. Given his temper, I'd consider getting a group together, taking a day off work and moving everything while he is away. If it weren't for the temper I'd say that's kinda crappy thing to do, but if you are concerned for your safety, that might be the best route. 

PrettyInPearls23

I wasn't nervous to tell my XH that I was moving...but I was apprehensive. He's known to be impulsive so I wasn't sure how he would react. My situation is a little different because I was moving 30 minutes away, needed to change DS' daycare (we have joint legal custody), and was moving in with my FI.

 

His immediate reaction? "Wow...that's a lot to take in all at once". I gave him the literature on the daycare and he said he'd get back with me. Three days later I received papers in the mail, showing that he had filed a motion for full physical custody of our son, ONLY because I was moving and it would "disrupt" his life, because he's "very impressionable at this young age". I nearly died when I opened the letter...from laughter, of course.

 

Like others have said, either have someone else present or do it in a letter. My only hesitation on doing it in a letter would be that you'd be on pins and needles, waiting to hear from him when he finally gets the letter.

 

And even though others have said he doesn't have a right to see your new place...he does have a right to know where his children will be living.