Today's the first day I've lurked here since I last posted. Maybe a week and a half ago??
Yes, my feelings were hurt by some of the snark about not being a good mom and assuming the baby's dad is married and I realize I've let the most major negative aspects of my life come out here and that it gives plenty of room for others to judge, but I've mostly been busy with work and have not had as much down time to play online.
I found a mom's group in my city and the other women are very close in age to me and mostly first time moms so I'm super excited to connect with other pg ladies and form new friendships. I was afraid they'd all be young and in their early 20's and I wouldn't feel like we had much in common. We meet to work-out, lunch, attend classes, etc. The majority of my best friends from back home are in party mode and it's been hard lately to connect with them as much as before.
I attended a luncheon yesterday where Ashley Judd spoke and she's a huge role model for me, as our childhoods and abuse experiences were very similar. Her autobiography is an amazing read if anyone is interested: All That is Bitter and Sweet. There was art created by abused and neglected children displayed in the entry of the ballroom and it brought back lots of personal memories and helped to remind me to stay on track as far as recovering from my past. My therapist is also a driving factor in recovery, especially since we now have a time goal to really get good habits in line before baby.
I've been taking care of myself, re-evaluating relationships of every kind and constantly think of the person I am going to be for baby. I guess I can be flamed bc I'm feeling super grossed out by my body and weight gain. I'm eating good and craving oranges like crazy, but my belly is already starting to protrude like I just ate a whole pizza and considering how early I am in my pregnancy, I know I just need to chill out bc I haven't even seen what's to come. I think it hurts the most that I have zero energy to run right now. I just want to sleep and lie down and that's it. I'm going to try hard to get outside this weekend even if it's just walking and hopefully I can build back up to my runs.
Re: sorry to disappoint JM...
I havent responded to any of your posts regarding the pregnancy, not sure why, maybe I just realize I have no clue what it is like to be in your situation. I can say some of your choices lately seem a bit careless and the advice you have received on here from the other women has been with your baby's and your best interest in mind.
I am sincerely rooting for both of you and with you best of luck!!
I definitely understand the advice is for my own good. I guess I use this board mostly for the negativity in my life bc IRL I'm very positive and upbeat and don't like to air my grievances. When I come here to "purge" I don't always remember that you internet strangers are only getting the dark side, so to say.
It's therapeutic and I truly take advice I receive here to heart until I start focusing on the little things that irk me and then I find it easier to shut off to the helpful. It's instinctive or a defense mechanism, I guess.
Thanks for the well wishes!