DH is being a DI&K about my racing.

jay-tea

Seriously.  I have a 10k tomorrow morning that starts at 7:30 am, so unless I decide to do it walking on my hands, I'll be done way before 9 and home shortly after. His DAD is coming tonight (late, driving in from Jersey).. his DAD who annoys the everliving sh*t out of me.  So, DH is going around slamming things around because I'M LEAVING him in the morning to go to a race 2 MILES AWAY and leaving him alone in the house with 2 kids and his dad.

WTF, DH??  Seriously.  I doubt they're even AWAKE when I get back.

So.. my neighbor called yesterday and said they have an extra spot on their corporate team for an 8k Sunday morning.. now, my neighbor is racing with me in the morning, so she's doing both.. we did the Cherry Blossom together earlier this month (me with no training) and she's fun to run with, so I'm like.. what the hell.. of course I'll do it.. it starts a HALF MILE from our house at like 8-8:30 on Sunday.

DH is throwing that into his repertoire.  "I can't believe you're doing this 2 days in a row!  Why can't you be like a normal person and just run on a treadmill???"

I really want to SMACK him.  As it is, I cleaned the entire first floor top to bottom and told him he had to clean the basement (read: pick up toys and all the newspapers he leaves lying around) and change the sheets on the sofa bed for his dad.  NOW I just got "I do everything around here all the cleaning and all you do is go run races halfway across the state every weekend and leave me alone to do all the chores".

Seriously.  I can't wait to go out of town for my half in June.

GRKaters

Would they ever come watch?

taratru

Oof.  That's tough.  Why don't they come watch? That would be fun for the kids. 

In the meantime, tell him to hush up and find a hobby of his own.  Then don't give him any grief when he does it. 

jay-tea

GRKaters:

Would they ever come watch?

They would and they have... But the one tomorrow is a little too early to get the kids up amd out. Personally I think he may be jealous. He used to be the one always doing the racing, then life got in the way and he stopped. The whining is whats annoying me. Every race I run, I ask him to join... I give him time tomdo things whenever he wants. He just would prefer to lie around and watch tv. And complain.

gt7301b

Aw, I'm sorry!  I hope y'all can figure out a way to be active as a family.  It sounds like everyone is upset right now, but is there some way y'all can reach a compromise on the number of races you do in a week/month?

HB's Girl

Phooey. Maybe invite him to train with you, or make an agreement on taking turns watching the kids so the other can train. Do you have a jogging stroller? Can older kids ride bikes alongside? My DH was neither supportive nor non-supportive when I started exercising, but then he thought that no way could I ever be stronger, so he started making his own time too. Can you encourage him to make his own time too? For tomorrow, can you offer to make bfast or brunch when you get back, so he knows you're not completly abandoning them?

moshi's paw

jay-tea:

Seriously.   His DAD is coming tonight (late, driving in from Jersey).. his DAD who annoys the everliving sh*t out of me.  So, DH is going around slamming things around because I'M LEAVING him in the morning and leaving him alone in the house with 2 kids and his dad.

WTF, DH??  Seriously.  I doubt they're even AWAKE when I get back.

DH is throwing that into his repertoire.  "I can't believe you're doing this 2 days in a row!  Why can't you be like a normal person and just...???"

I really want to SMACK him.  As it is, I cleaned the entire first floor top to bottom and told him he had to clean the basement (read: pick up toys and all the newspapers he leaves lying around) and change the sheets on the sofa bed for his dad.  NOW I just got "I do everything around here all the cleaning and all you do is go  and leave me alone to do all the chores".

Seriously.  I can't wait to go out of town for my half in June.

Taking out everything about racing, this really doesn't sound like he's being a di<k about racing.

foundmylazybum

moshi's paw:

jay-tea:

Seriously.   His DAD is coming tonight (late, driving in from Jersey).. his DAD who annoys the everliving sh*t out of me.  So, DH is going around slamming things around because I'M LEAVING him in the morning and leaving him alone in the house with 2 kids and his dad.

WTF, DH??  Seriously.  I doubt they're even AWAKE when I get back.

DH is throwing that into his repertoire.  "I can't believe you're doing this 2 days in a row!  Why can't you be like a normal person and just...???"

I really want to SMACK him.  As it is, I cleaned the entire first floor top to bottom and told him he had to clean the basement (read: pick up toys and all the newspapers he leaves lying around) and change the sheets on the sofa bed for his dad.  NOW I just got "I do everything around here all the cleaning and all you do is go  and leave me alone to do all the chores".

Seriously.  I can't wait to go out of town for my half in June.

Taking out everything about racing, this really doesn't sound like he's being a di<k about racing.

Thumbs up cle. What's the real issue? 

kylara111

gt7301b:

Aw, I'm sorry!  I hope y'all can figure out a way to be active as a family.  It sounds like everyone is upset right now, but is there some way y'all can reach a compromise on the number of races you do in a week/month?

 I hear where you're coming from.  I do quite a lot and DH pretty much has no hobbies.  I spoke to DH and we agreed that one race a month is reasonable.  Anything beyond that, and I discuss it with him first. 

Susie Derkins

jay-tea:

Personally I think he may be jealous. He used to be the one always doing the racing, then life got in the way and he stopped.

So he DOES understand why you can't "just run on a treadmill," he's just spouting vitriol.

Sounds like there's something else going on here.  Whatever it is, it sounds like it warrants some figuring out.  And while I get the race thing, I'll grant that both mornings of a weekend, especially on short notice for one of them, leaving him with two LOs, probably isn't the lubricant to help these wheels turn more easily.

Have you had a serious conversation about it at a time when you were both calm?

ebeth_msn

I agree that there's something else going on here.

 

that said, I'd be wicked pissed if my spouse decided to take on a second race the weekend my parents were in town without talking to me first.  the first one, you signed up awhile ago, it's paid for, NBD. my parents are like never, ever in town though.  if they were rolling up once a month or something it wouldn't be big deal.

Cinco

DH is supportive of my racing, but I can see him getting annoyed if I wanted to do 2 on a w/e his family is in town...or really, 2 races in one w/e period. Just as I'd be annoyed if he wanted to golf 2 days in a row. We only have so much family time as it is. Hopefully you guys can sit down and talk about it. DH and I both agree that an average of a race a month is what our family can handle. We occasionally will both race if one of our parents can watch the kids, but that is something we don't want to take advantage of too often either. Gotta save the sitter for date nights

OSULori

I understand where you're coming from, to an extent.  My H is not a runner or big exerciser in general and we have had heated, ahem, discussions in the past related to my running.  However, we are now currently at the point where he understands that running keeps me sane, and I make an effort to not let running get in the way of our time together (he works a weird work schedule and as a result we don't work the same hours).  For a while though, he was a huge painintheass about anything related to running.  Your H's attitude about the 10k is totally something my own H would have pulled in the past, even with plenty of notice that I was running a race on that morning so I do understand your WTF about his attitude with regard to that. The line about "I do everything around here all the cleaning and all you do is go run races halfway across the state every weekend and leave me alone to do all the chores" is totally one J has pulled in the past (but hasn't said it seriously in some time, just jokingly).

However, I completely understand why your H is upset about the spur of the moment 8k tomorrow morning that you just signed up for.  How close it is to your house doesn't matter...the fact remains that you're now racing two mornings in a row, when his dad is in town and staying with you guys (and the fact that his dad annoys the crap out of you is irrelevant...he is a guest staying in your home) and he has every right to be upset about that. 

jay-tea

ebeth_msn:

I agree that there's something else going on here.

 

that said, I'd be wicked pissed if my spouse decided to take on a second race the weekend my parents were in town without talking to me first.  the first one, you signed up awhile ago, it's paid for, NBD. my parents are like never, ever in town though.  if they were rolling up once a month or something it wouldn't be big deal.

My father in law is in town at least once a month.. and we never do anything as a family while he's here.  He and DH take one of the kids to a museum and then they sit around and drink beer and watch TV the rest of the time.  It's not like it's a special thing that his dad comes to visit.. and this weekend his dad is just using us for a place to crash.

I agree that there's something going on here.. he's admittedly having a midlife crisis.. but it's every time that I have a race he "picks on me" for doing it... I could be doing meth and it wouldn't bother him.. it's the running.  Also, two races that are done and I'm home before they are even up in the morning.. not something I see as getting in the way of anything.

And no.. he doesn't *get* the whole running outside thing and enjoying it.. even when he did runs himself.. he would never train anywhere BUT on a treadmill.