How do I move on?

getfuzzytoo

Hello,

I'm 23 weeks pregnant with my first child. Last week made a year of being married, but it also marked the day I moved out and left my husband. I found out that he has been cheating on me our entire marriage. I am crushed and lost. Has anyone been in the same situation and survived to tell the story? any advice would help. Thanks for listening. 

LookingUp

I've not been in your situation at all, but it's Saturday so I don't know when someone else might respond. Lots of ladies on here suggest survivinginfidelity.com as a place to find support in situations like this.

Other than that, I can tell you that you deserve better and you will find happiness. Be proud of yourself that you found the strength to leave and do what's best for you and your child.

I'm sorry you're going through this. ((hugs)) 

DorisWE

Welcome! I was married for less than a year when I found out my XH had been having an affair with his co-worker for our entire marriage, and from what I can piece together, even the months leading up to our wedding.  It was devastating, to say the least.  We tried for a few months to work through things (did marriage counseling as well as individual counseling) but it was clearly broken beyond repair.  He moved out almost a year ago to "figure things out" which, as I found out later, was to have the ability to continue his relationship with the OW.  There were days I could hardly breathe, let only function.  There were days I cried nonstop and didn't know how I was going to go on.  And then there were days I could see the light on the other side and I found reasons to move forward.

Honestly, as horrible as it all was, it was the best thing that could have happened to me.  I am able to live my life honestly and without the drama that he brought to the table.  I also learned, during last year's ups and downs, who my real friends are and made some cuts there too.  I worked with my counselor, for almost a year, on me and it has changed my whole world. 

My XH had adopted my DS a few months before I found out about the affair, so we now have to co-parent, which has come with it's own set of challenges, but most of the time, it's fine. 

When I had DS, his bio-dad was MIA, so I did it alone (and had a 4 1/2 year old at home).  Looking back at it now, I have no clue how in the world I survived it, but you know what, you just do! I would advise accepting any help offered by friends and family during the first few months. 

(hugs)

tmkd

I was married for 8 months and found out my H had been cheating on me for about 2 months (and she wasn't the first I'm sure and perhaps, it had gone on longer...). I wasn't pregnant though.

Day by day, my friend. 

Be patient and go easy on yourself. You're prob still in shock. You'll get through to the other side someday, I promise! 

WineCat

Please go check out survivinginfidelity.com.  It's active on the weekends and you will find other women in your exact same shoes.  I'm so sorry.  You will get through this and I promise that a year from now your world will be so much better.  In two years, you'll be a whole new person with a wonderful little toddler running around.  I know it seems like a long way away, but day by day you'll get through it and time will pass by quicker than it feels right now

Big interwebz hugs...  I really feel for you.

PhoenixRising11

I found out my husband had been having an affair after five years of marriage, and I was not pregnant, but I did feel like the world had dropped out from beneath me. I recommend survivinginfidelity.com as well, and I also can't say enough about what a help my awesome therapist has been to me. I really advocate finding someone professional you can talk to in order to help you wade through all the emotions that come from something huge like this. And feel free to stick around here...talking to people who have been through something similar is SO helpful.

getfuzzytoo

Thank you for all your support and advice. I'm going to check out that other website. It's so hard, but like everyone said day by day. It hurts because I never checked out of the relationship or stopped loving him, but now I realize that I loved a stranger and after 7 years still had no idea who he was. Again, thanks for the promising words, I'll probably keep updating, it really helps to talk.

jndbabylove

I'm going to PM you.