International Nesties
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Acceptable behaviors abroad
I'm so glad that in Spain it's socially acceptable to have cakes and pies for breakfast. I have leftovers from DH's birthday dinner that need eaten and what's a better breakfast than orange sponge cake?? If I were in the US I'd at least feel slightly guilty right now...
What other things are acceptable in your respective countries which might get you the "side eye" back in the US?
Re: Acceptable behaviors abroad
The carb-fest that is my entire life. I read an article in a French magazine the other day encouraging women to eat more bread and poo-pooing the idea that carbs can cause weight gain. More baguettes, please!
Besides that, I feel like a lot of the other things I do are only acceptable in the US- like going to the farmer's market in my workout clothes. I got a few strange looks for that this morning.
Maybe it was just my house, then. I was always under the impression that breakfast was eggs or cereal.
No Pop-Tarts? Ever?
Chronically hilarious - you'll split your stitches!
I wrote a book! Bucket list CHECK!
http://notesfortheirtherapist.blogspot.co.uk
For other families yes, in my family no.
I feel so very bad for you. My favorite time of the year was fall because it meant we generally had pumpkin pie in the house and I could grab a slice on the run as I headed to school.
I don't know where home is for you, but I did this in NY and even took DD to wine tastings. The cheese spread was set up just at her level, so it was a win-win outing for both of us.
Really Anna?
I'm from Western Canada and brining young children to a pub is not only illegal but frowned upon as very trashy, depending on where you are. At a campsite before 8pm, okay, fine. In the city, hell no.
Chronically hilarious - you'll split your stitches!
I wrote a book! Bucket list CHECK!
http://notesfortheirtherapist.blogspot.co.uk
Illegal? It's illegal for me to give DD a sip of my drink, but as far as I know, not illegal for her to be in a bar, particularly the kind that serve food/appetizers. I did this at 5 or 6pm ("happy hour") not 11 or midnight, though.
But maybe I'm just trashy?
Gaaa, triplicate. (Is that a word?)
Stupid nest triple-posted my response. That's what I get for having mommy happy hours in NY!
Sorry, didn't mean to call you trashy if that is how it came across. That's just how it is where we are from.
Pubs at home are more like bars than they are here, even if they serve food. I don't think it's legal to bring a child in there at any age but if it were, I think it would be very much frowned upon as trashy unless the kid were in their mid to late teens.
That's why it always surprises us that it's fine to bring our kids to a pub here and that we do it often. They've even got high chairs.
Chronically hilarious - you'll split your stitches!
I wrote a book! Bucket list CHECK!
http://notesfortheirtherapist.blogspot.co.uk
Wine for lunch!
And I agree with elentxu, the cakes for breakfast is something that we never did in the US.
Eh, don't worry about bringing kids to bars/pubs. In the city I live in they have kids play rooms in the bar/pub/tavern/gaming rooms. I guess too many parents were leaving the kids in the cars when they popped in to play the slots.
We have temps upwards of 36 here in the summer, so even my non-parent self knows that is bad,
anna7602 I have feeling from your descriptions of your child, she is a 25 year old trapped in a 4 year old's body. In my town you can still smoke in certain bars - if I saw a kid there I'd side eye because it probably seedy but if it was a nice wine bar, I wouldn't side eye as long as the kid was acting appropriately. If Quint is in a good mood, we'll go to a sidewalk cafe to enjoy a glass of wine or beer and the nice weather while he colors or watches the Ipad or something. My town is where Philip Morris' has its headquarters and a huge university so I don't think it will ever be smoke free here so we have to be careful which cafe we chose.
We were JUST having this conversation on the playground the other day and some of the things I was telling this helicopter moms shocked them (actually they weren't really helicopter moms, they are very nice but you know what I mean):
And these are all Holland vs. the US:
1. In Holland, it is totally acceptable to leave your kid sitting in the bakfiets (bike with the big open front for kids and groceries to sit in) outside while you run into the Albert Hein (Dutch grocery store) to grab something real quick (ie you're inside for 10 minutes while the kid is outside for 10 minutes). Here they won't even leave their kids in the car for 2 minutes to run into the Quick Stop to grab a drink WHEN THE KID IS IN PLAIN SIGHT THE ENTIRE TIME. I do it and they were shocked and were trying to tell me all the dangers of leaving your kid in the car (which I completely agreed with if you were going into the mall for 3 hours and leaving your kid outside but I am literally in the shop for 2 minutes and can see him the entire time). Sometimes I do it at the liquor store for my wine. It is a pita to pull him out of his car seat, drag him inside, keep him from touching everything and get him to not beg for the candy from the candy aisle when I could just run into the store, grab a bottle, pay and run out the entire time seeing him 10 feet away in the parking lot.
2. Happy hour at work in your office at your desk. I was responsible for monthly happy hours in the office when I worked in Holland. I would take my boss's car to the grocery store, load up on tons of wine, beer, and boerderij (little nibbles like peanuts, chips, wasabi bites, cheese, crackers, sausages, filet american, etc) and set it up in our office kitchen for everyone to enjoy. The playground moms were telling me that if you rolled into work with alcohol, your HR department would get you on an EAP
3. Playgrounds in Holland are all made out of concrete. Here junior is only allowed to play on organic, soft, naturally safe rubber pellets.
4. At the playgrounds listed on #3, they were all circles and all had gates so Jan and Eline couldn't escape while mom and her friends sat on benches lining the outside sipping their wine and smoking their ciggies. If a mom SEES a ciggie butt at a park here, it is a major freak out followed by all the moms combing their entire park for any more offenders.
5. Almost every park we went to in Holland was attached to a snack bar that served kid food and mini wine in a bottle.
6. I drank and drove my bike with Quint in it all the time. I'm not talking about getting sloshed but we'd go to happy hour in the park with friends, I'd have a few glasses of wine and ride my bakfiets home. Moms at park were saying they don't even drink in front of their kids. WHAT? I think that one might be a little extreme. For goodness sake I served mimosas at my kid's 4th birthday party (not to the kids - to the parents - I do have some standards). How else were the parents supposed to survive being around 15 screaming 4 year olds?
I am sure I will think of more.
Thank you
I was starting to think my family was crazier than I originally thought.
This has not been my experience at all in the last 3 years I've lived here with my Dutch husband. I wouldn't say it's totally acceptable in Holland. I'm not in Amsterdam though, so it might be an Amsterdam thing? Yikes.
I have noticed that Dutch parents smoke more around their children. I see a lot of young women smoking around their infant children.
You know what I always wondered when I was living there - was it a Dutch thing or a city thing? I have never lived in a big city before - just suburbs so I'm wondering if half the stuff I saw the Dutch do was actually norm for a large city (dutch or american) but I thought was odd because I have only lived in small towns or suburbs?
Most of the things that are socially acceptable in the U.S. are not here, so playing this game from the Saudi Arabia is kinda tough. One thing I can think of though is the utter non-use of car seats here. I don't think I've ever seen a Saudi kid in a car seat. Often times they are sitting on someone's lap (sometimes even dad while he's driving) in the front seat or hanging out of the window. I choose not to follow this socially acceptable behavior with my kids because the traffic fatality rate here is no joke.
I traveled with a car seat to Cuba and stuck out like you wouldn't believe. But, I wasn't comfortable risking DD's life or safety and we were using cars every single day there.
Good call.
I've seen a number of families where I work with their kids unbuckled. Drives me nuts. Then again, back home a certain religious group in my hometown doesn't buckle even kids saying it's "God's will" whatever happens.
Yeah, I see what you mean.
On a similar note, when I first moved here people often asked me "so what's the difference between Americans and the Dutch." It was hard (and still is at times) to answer because sometimes I wonder if many things I consider "typical Dutch" to just be typical of my husband and his family.
It was so weird seeing babies sitting on the front of mopeds in Sri Lanka. Something about it happening here in Saudi just seems worse, because it's not like they can't afford safe cars with seat belts and car seats when half of the cars I see on the roads are Escalades and Mercedes SUVs. I think it's just a cultural attitude akin to what it was like in the U.S. before the crash test dummy PSAs of the 80s. Qatar launched an aggressive public service campaign to address seat belt and car seat usage and I hope Saudi eventually does the same. I mean, they regulate the heck out of everything else and love to tell people what to do so why can't they get onboard with this?
Obsession's experience might actually be what was cool in her specific subdivision of Amsterdam. I've lived in Amsterdam most of my life, and if I'd see a kid in a bakfiets unattended, I'd warn the store. I've honestly NEVER seen that unless the kid was at least 8 or so years old. Not little kids for sure!
My food blog
What I'm looking forward to in 2012:
Eating our way through (northern) Italy on vacation
<a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Home DWhat about parents driving on mopeds/scooters with little kids and no helmets, dogs tied up to the little hook inside the lobby of albert hein, and the maxi cosi adaptor on the back of a moped for an infant?
I saw that stuff all the time!
There are no car seats here, either. Most people have motorbikes and it's not uncommon to see 2 adults on one, and one will have a baby in their hands,or 2 adults and 3 kids squeezed onto one. We don't have a car seat but I've never been worried because rarely will you see an actual car accident ( I never have) because there are so few cars..and the cars that are here have to go so slow because of all the motor bikes.