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Not SO related: Difficult conversation...
Okay, so I think I posted awhile back about this...but never did anything about it. My 18 y.o. cousin lives with me while she is going to college. We never agreed on a payment schedule, and her Dad (my uncle) did body work on my car this past summer (repainted the fender - no body damage), and didn't charge me, so I felt guilty asking for anything.
Now, I want to say something to get an agreement in place, because she is planning on living with me again next year, and I have built up some resentment, so I can't live this same way for another year. I am not trying to profit off of them, but I would like some sort of benefit to having someone in my house day in and day out (she doesn't have a job & is there all the time, she does leave most weekends, though). They have paid a total of $600.00 for this academic year (they randomly send money back with her), which comes out to about $60/month, that barely covers her utilities.
If she were to get an apartment at the college (I work there and know the cost), she would pay anywhere from $300/mo + utilities all the way up to $500 depending on the apartment - no garage and no washer and dryer. At my place, she has her own bathroom, a spot in my garage, and of course, washer and dryer. I would like to charge $200/mo total. If I had a roommate, I would charge $400 + utilities, but I just would never ask that from family. FWIW we have another cousin (diff uncle) that goes to the college, works, pays $380 for apt + utilities..so I feel bad she is getting a (basically) free ride, while he works and pays rent.
I am just annoyed because she doesn't have a job, and is there every time I come home from work - I didn't know she wouldn't be working, and would just go to and from school.
Anyway, would you feel okay in charging your cousin to live with you? (Sorry this is SO long)! I know I made mistakes in this arrangement (not agreeing on a pay schedule), but I didn't know how it would be. Now I do, and want it to change!
Re: Not SO related: Difficult conversation...
Family and Money is difficult and be prepared for people to get angry/hurt/etc. I think $200 a month is MORE than reasonable.
To share a similar story, my cousin was going to live with my parents while he went to school. He would have the ENTIRE first floor (walk about basement) to himself (own bathroom, bedroom, living room, etc). My parents asked a reasonable about and my Aunt/Uncle got pi$$ed and thought it was too high, but it was very reasonable IMO. (My Mom was going to provide food, utilities, the entire first floor to him for <$500 a month). It was a VERY sore subject and resulted in a BIG fight.
I know. I feel totally taken advantage of in this situation. I am mad that I let it go on so long, but I honestly thought they would make up for it at Christmas or something, and just kept waiting...!
I am just going to ask her if she plans to live with me next year (which I know she does), and say that we should decide on a monthly payment schedule, since nothing was established. I will ask her if she would like me to print a price guide of what the college offers, for her to have an idea of what she would be paying if she didn't live with me. She can then relay the information to her parents, and I am sure they will call me! If they can't afford it (which I know they can), then she should be working like about 90% of the other college students on this campus!
You have complained about her before - including the fact that she didn't want you to have male overnight guests IN YOUR OWN HOME before. Have these issues been resolved?
Instead of discussing rent, I would tell her "have you made plans to rent another apartment next year? Because you will be moving out of here on XX date, and most people are signing leases for the 2012-13 academic year right now."
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
It sounds like she causes more grief than it's worth. I think having your place to yourself is definitely worth leaving $200 a month on the table.
I agree that you just operate under the assumption that she's moving out. Maybe something like "Hey I know classes are done xyz, I'm assuming you'll be moving out around x? How's the apartment search going for next year?"
And don't let your family guilt you into her staying there. Just stand firm "Oh, I was operating under the assumption this would only be one year. While I really enjoy cousin, I prefer to live alone." And repeat as necessary.
Agreed. If you don't want her to live there, then she shouldn't live there. It's not something she or her parents are entitled to.
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