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Confused about my Husband
So Ive been married for almost four years and we have a daughter that is the best thing in my life. But since I have been married my husband has lied to me about the smallest things. It started with that he didnt have enough money from his check to help pay for some bills then to he could not find a job and so on.
When I look back I feel foolish that I believed some things. Yet now he told me that he has cancer. Coming from a medical background I asked alot of questions and wanted to talk to the doctor. He refuses for me to speak to the doctor and refuses for me to tell his family. Im unsure what to do. He is unable to answer alot of the questions I asked. (cancer is a sore subject since my stepmom passed last year of lung cancer)
He can be very verbal and punch things like the door. Plus he just accused me of sleeping with his brother. I work graveyard shifts and then watch our daughter during the day. So I have no time to be cheating on him. With all the lies and accusations its getting hard to even enjoy life.Plus supporting the three of us because he doesnt want to work. My daughter is the one thing that gives me a smile now days.
Has anyone experienced this, and what would be the best plan of action. Ive asked for us to go get help but he refuses.
Re: Confused about my Husband
seriously? you're confused about what to do?
GETTHEFUCKOUTOFTHERE.
So your husband is a liar, verbally abusive, physically destructive to your home, accuses you of infidelity and refuses to help support your family?
Leave. You and your daughter deserve much better than this.
Also, if he's accusing you of sleeping around, I would ask yourself why. A lot of times, when someone is accusing you of cheating it is because they themselves are guilty of it.
Seriously tho, why would you want to stay with this man?
What she said.
Although i believe leaving is the best thing, i also believe it isn't as simple as people make it. Make sure you document EVERYTHING! So when you do go to court you can show the judge this is what i was paying this is what i was doing this is what he was or wasn't doing ect ect ect. I wish you the best of luck!
It sounds like he needs counseling. It could be a mental disorder that he is dealing with. The lying, anger, paranoia, and refusal to work sound like classic mental health issues.
If you feel like you can't handle it anymore, and divorce is the best option, then make sure to talk to a lawyer. It is worth it even if you can't afford it. Don't scrimp on this expense. I also think the element of surprise always works in your favor if you are really serious about divorcing him. Don't let him know you've consulted with a lawyer until the last possible moment.
If you think he can work through this with a counselor, then give him a chance. Sometimes a trial seperation will convince him that it's worth seeing a counselor if he wants to keep his family intact.
I am not sure about the laws in your area, but when my exH and I split in Idaho, the police told me that as long as there is not a custody order filed in the courts, then either one of us has a legal right to the children.
I would suggest you leave, then file for divorce or at least legal separation, as well as a temp custody order that allows your child to stay with you. This is for your protection as well as your child's.
lol
Good for you for taking the step to leave. You are right, get everything in writing so you can have the freedom to move around or leave the state. It almost sounds like it would be a better situation if he didn't try to have custody because he is such a bad influence (IMO) on your daughter.
Best of luck and please keep us updated.