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Imma tell you a story about sexual harassment.
I work in a field that is largely male-dominated and long ago adopted a philosophy of 'go along to get along'. The upside of this is that I can curse like a sailor. The downside of this is that I have endured sexual harassment and inappropriate contact for years and years. Not ongoing harassment from a single person, but isolated incidents and comments over a long period of time. From both staff and clients.
Document and report, people. I am literally kiicking myself now that I held on to this dumb attitude that I developed back in the 90's when I first started out in the business. If I had written everything down and reported it I'd be retiring rich right now instead of being laid off.
From being insanely harassed and groped by a client while out with a group of clients for drinks, to being invited up to bossman's son's room alone, to having co-workers tell me I "look hot today"... and I've been confused about whether or not I've invited some of this behavior in by being friendly and flirtatious, and so I've been hesitant to really pursue anything immediately after the fact.
Ugh, this is so fcucked up now that I'm writing it down.
DOCUMENT AND REPORT EVEN IF YOU FEEL WEIRD ABOUT IT!!!
Yeah that's right my name's Yauch!
Re: Imma tell you a story about sexual harassment.
Well you certainly would have been out of there sooner at least.
I remember one really uncomfortable situation years ago when I worked on the phones on customer service. There was a guy who gave me the most disgusting looks during breaks. I was ready to go to HR but I hated the job so much for other reasons I quit before I had a chance to address it.
Soon to celebrate the day we met, even if the day before marks when we said goodbye.
I once sat on some pretty major sexual harassment from a bigwig in publishing b/c I thought that once I wrote my novel, he'd be more prone to helping me get published if I didn't squeal.
Yeah, I still haven't written that novel, and I am wishing I had a settlement.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
I'm so annoyed with the things men think they can (and often do) get away with in so many instances. It's just... yuck. I'm sorry you had to deal with it.
this is almost verbatim what i was going to say. with more cursing.
i'm so sorry.
I did talk to people about the worst instance. I was out with a bunch of clients after one of our seminars (in Philly) and this guy would just not stop grabbing me. The other guys weren't encouraging him, but no one stood up for me and told him to knock it the fcuck off (this still upsets me). We were all really drunk. I should have slapped him in the face (or just freaking left) but I was fairly new and this was a big account that we were wooing heavily at the time. I kept smiling and laughing and removing his hands from me over and over again. I told several people about it but nothing ever happened. I knew that if I made a big deal out of it that bosslady would blame me for screwing up getting the account... like I shouldn't have been out with these guys while drinking and by myself, etc.
We got the account. Barf.
I call him Blekksprutt which means octopus in Norwegian or Swedish, I can't remember which.
Yeah that's right my name's Yauch!
Is this flameful?
it's so quiet up in here
Yeah that's right my name's Yauch!
Ugh, that sucks so much. And it's really fucked up that you were uncomfortable going to your boss about it. Companies should want to protect thier employees and make them feel comfortable, not make them feel like they need to hide crap like that.
71 workouts completed in 2012
**lurker** at my last job, I had a guy ask me if I had gotten my promotion by getting down on my knees, in front of a room full of other male operators (industrial environment). I very calmly told him that he got that once chance to be a pig, that what he said was inappropriate, and he'd best not say it again. From that point on, he was the most respectful person I dealt with, and no one dared pull anything like that again.
Good for you, man.
Yeah that's right my name's Yauch!
Ever call him that to his face?
I probably would have.
Truly awesome. I always think of these great replies later.
Even more fun was about 6 months later when another operator who was pissed at the operator who made the original comment sent an anonymous letter (even trying to disguise their handwriting) to HR telling them about what he said to me. I also had to take HazMat response training (only gal in the class), and the instructor decided to make an example of me. "Now, when we put this gal in the shower, WE DON"T LOOK AT HER. We strip her down, and put her in the safety shower. Get it guys? Strip her down and put her in the shower. Strip her down" None of the other guys in the room would look me in the eye after that.
OK that is messed up. I'm pretty sure that seeing a naked lady is the last thing on anyone's mind in a HAZMAT sitch like this one. And if it isn't well then just... ew.
Yeah that's right my name's Yauch!
My thought exactly. Someone asked me about it afterwards - my response was "if I get concentrated Sodium Hydroxide on me, and I'm in the shower, and you're the first responder, the last thing you should be thinking about are my tits."
The same instructor also went on a diatribe for all the men present about how the perineum is the most sensitive part of the body. FOR AN HOUR.
That you didn't pursue the matter further? I don't think so. You said you mentioned it to several people and nothing happened. It's really sad that no one in the company seemed to be an advocate for you but I certainly wouldn't say anything was your fault in those circumstances.