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wow... i am shocked

I just found out from a good friend (N) that a mutual friend of ours (A) is cheating on her husband. It is with a person that both she and her husband know, and they have just been keeping it a big secret from everyone. The friend that told me(N) is the only person that the cheating friend (A) has told about any of this.

I don't know what to do. I know both her and her husband and this other guy very well. I feel like shiz is going to go down and totally break up our friend group.

effff.

Also, a poll.... 

 

[Poll]
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Re: wow... i am shocked

  • Heck no! I take that shiz to the grave
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  • By telling anyone, it sounds like this friend is kind of wanting to get caught. Even just a little.
    image
  • sakelpsakelp member
    Fourth Anniversary

    imageDovey1122:
    Heck no! I take that shiz to the grave

    every time we have a "do you have secrets from married life?" post i assume that about 90% of everyone that says they do keep secrets is that they are cheating/have cheated on their husbands.

    i think thats the one thing that even the beloved regulars would not admit on here.

    (NOT SAYING THAT REGULARS ARE HAVING AFFAIRS!!!) 

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  • Mental note: don't tell N anything personal. 
  • imagesakelp:

    imageDovey1122:
    Heck no! I take that shiz to the grave

    every time we have a "do you have secrets from married life?" post i assume that about 90% of everyone that says they do keep secrets is that they are cheating/have cheated on their husbands.

    i think thats the one thing that even the beloved regulars would not admit on here.

    (NOT SAYING THAT REGULARS ARE HAVING AFFAIRS!!!) 

    So us newbs are???? *Gasp* How dare you?? ;)

    That's exactly what I thought about yesterday when we were doing the secrets thing though. If I were going to  keep anything from anyone, it would definitely be an affair. 

  • sakelpsakelp member
    Fourth Anniversary

    imageQuesera:
    Mental note: don't tell N anything personal. 

    YEAH. i think she told me mostly b/c she and I are closest out of that friend group, and  she is the kind of person that HAS to tell someone when she has a secret. she probably told me knowing that i would not continue on the gossip chain.

    But I don't really tell anyone in my large friend group things that I don't want the whole group to know. i save that for my 2 best friends from college. they're like steel traps when it comes to secrets.

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  • imagesakelp:

    imageQuesera:
    Mental note: don't tell N anything personal. 

    YEAH. i think she told me mostly b/c she and I are closest out of that friend group, and  she is the kind of person that HAS to tell someone when she has a secret. she probably told me knowing that i would not continue on the gossip chain.

    That's the trouble w/ telling anyone anything of REAL seriousness - it burdens them and they often want/need to talk to SOMEONE about it.

    Luckily my DH and I are able to do this for each other.  I know I can tell him anything and he and I together can be all "WTF?!?!?!" about stuff.

    But yeah - if I were cheating on him, well... that would be a little difficult. And I couldn't see putting that burden on someone else, if I REALLY wanted to keep it a secret.

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

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  • I don't blame the friend who told.  Why would she keep it a secret when the cheaters weren't able to keep it themselves?
  • imagepapie:
    I don't blame the friend who told.  Why would she keep it a secret when the cheaters weren't able to keep it themselves?

    I agree.

    The cheater wants to get caught.  On some level, she is wishing she'd get outed.

    promised myself I'd retire when I turned gold, and yet here I am
  • imagesakelp:

    she is the kind of person that HAS to tell someone when she has a secret.

    I am like this.  If it is scandalous and juicy, I can't keep it a secret.  If it something really serious though, I tell my husband and that's it.  I tell people all the time not to tell me secrets. 

    image
  • If you had seen them cheating i might say something.  But not second hand information (even from a reliable source)
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