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I'm so ragey right now
H wanted a "special night" tonight because he had a bad day at work. I tried hard to be pleasant and fun when he got home, but he makes these stupid comments like pointing out a pet peeve that he has about me. I definitely don't feel like being sexy because a) I'm still wearing maternity clothes and have nothing that I would deem as "sexy"; b) I feel soft and fat; c) He is being very touchy which makes me touchy and then we get into an argument.
PLUS, I work really hard when I'm at home. Aside from dealing with the first poopgate 2012, I do laundry, make up bottles and generally keep the house tidy. I could sit around and do nothing all day, but that's not my thing. I'm easily bored and have cabin fever when I'm stuck inside all day, but J wasn't well, so I didn't want to go out and deal with diarrhea on the go.
I need a stiff drink and/or a doob.
Re: I'm so ragey right now
UGH this post is making me ragey. Your H deserves a kick in the nuts.
I'm DYING to know what his pet peeve is.
Me leaving my toothbrush on the edge of the sink. In the one bathroom that doesn't have a cup or anything to hold my toothbrush. My main pet peeve for him is how he whined about wanting a laundry hamper for himself in the bedroom, and now that we have a nice one, his clothes STILL remain all over the damn floor. It annoys me to no end.
I just don't know why he had to point that out when he wants a good night. Of course it's going to make me pissy. Like seriously. He can be pissed about work. That's fine with me, but when he starts being snarky with me and expects me to be a sex goddess, that's where I draw the damn line.
How did I not know how many people around here are smoking the wheezy?
I'm sorry this happened. I wish my H knew what it felt like to suddenly have a totally different body.
This sounds more like a case of "wahhhhhhhhhhhh you give the baby all your attention and not enough to me-itis"
All DH's get this when there is a new baby in houuusseee.
Unfortunatly the only cure is to go batshit crazy on him and/or leave the baby with him the ENTIRE day as a reminder of what you're going through.
GL honey.
See above. I also suggested a plan for tonight: dinner, feed baby, bathe baby, put baby to bed, have time for us. He made a face and acted like it was stupid - he was just being sarcastic, but how is that going to make me want to keep pursuing a nice night together? I don't expect him to be in a great mood when he has a bad day at work, but making an attempt would be appreciated. I can't just switch it on. I have a stitched up scar and a skin flap, plus soft arms and legs. I don't feel attractive. I'm trying, but it's not going to happen by magic!
Luckily he does take the baby when he gets home. He has him right now and soothed him while I was seething in the kitchen making bottles. He likes to question decisions I make about the baby - like calling the doctor about poopgate, increasing the amount of formula, going up a size in diapers. It's just so frustrating. He comes from a good place, wanting the best for baby, but sure has an annoying way of doing it. I don't want to make waves or lose my shiit, but it's pretty hard to keep it together sometimes. I miss my pre-preg self.
OMG he's being redic! What kind of moron wants sex and comes home griping about a toothbrush on the sink!
I would have him on "ignore" for the rest of the night. NO LIE!
i think with all of your responses here you are doing an amazing job of keeping perspective (that things have changed, that he wants to help, that a bad day for each of you sucks and requires kid gloves in handling the other person, that you need to be treated with respect regardless). with SUCH a teeny one in the house, i think this bodes well for you as an individual and as a couple (provided he gets his temporarily lodged up his ass head on straight, which it sounds to me like you think he will).
the feeling doughy stuff blows, but you'll feel better soon about that too.
Thank you, cville. I try hard to keep my own head on straight. I can be a selfish biitch at times and act like an idiot. I'm definitely not innocent in any way. It comes from my end too. I know that this is all temporary, so that helps keep me sane. I also don't like arguing in front of the baby. It's not fair to him. I've also seen my 2 SILs almost get divorces when they had teeny ones around. I refuse to go that route. I just can't handle the "you don't like me" and "this bugs me about you" shiit. I'm over that. My self esteem and self image is so fragile right now, and feeling like I'm inadequate, even in the slightest is very damaging.
i told my husband, who didn't get why i was crying about only wearing pants that had stretchy waistbands, something along the lines of my whole mental self, and physical self has changed. i'd been thin and healthy and then blown up like a balloon, then blown out down below, then deflated and fleshy. not to mention i'd gone from being myself to being "mom." (heavily implied "so backthefvvckoff"). for him, he was all, oh, i see. and was MUCH better seeing how it was all interconnected for me (like, he says "are you sure you want to go up a diaper size?" and i hear "everything you've ever done or said is wrong, you're failing as a mother and also fat").
i'm not sure what will work for you in getting it through to your husband (to a degree; i mean, he's not going to get it-get it because he hasn't been through it, you know?), but i hope you figure it out.