Trouble in Paradise
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Young moms are uneducated twits... (TB link)
Thanks Betty! I have a slow morning and I'm now rabbit holing through bump posts. The original that spawned the one you posted is 6 or 7 pages long.
I still hate their massive signatures over there. Bad trend.
Can someone tell me why owning your home is paramount to a happy marriage? Post after post is "We own our home." And so for that you want a effin' cookie?
Naw, Boo, tell me what I need to know to see if you are going to make it ...
1. How are your communication skills with your husband? Do you address them or do you bury your head in the sand and unleash your fury when you can't take something anymore.
2. What's your trust factor? Is your spouse the proud owner of some email addresses you've never seen? Does he hide information from you? Do you have a nagging feeling gnawing away at your gut that his best female friend and he have some other FWB thing going on?
3. What's your money situation? Are you fighting over money? Money trouble happens to be one of the leading causes for divorce.
4. How do your goals/priorities/beliefs/wants/needs match? How to rear children can be a source of contention. Do you even WANT them can be a source of contention. Would your spouse or you be ok with a complete career change? What about education? What about moving? Are you on the same page? If the answer is no on any of these things, it could become a giant problem later.
5. How do you handle stress? Do you lash out at your spouse or does he lash out at you? What if you or your spouse is unemployed for a long period of time? I know of a marriage right now that is ending because the spouse had an affair. The affair happened after the spouse was laid off for a number of months. Do you engage if destructive behavior when you are stressed? Do you or your spouse have issues with depression.
See - all that is just the curve balls life throws at you. At dayum mortgage is not the determining factor in how strong your marriage is. The real question is for the youngsters - are you and your spouse mature enough to handle the rollercoaster of life. Do you have a game plan when shiit hits the fan?
But, you know, what does my old azz know?
Idiot azzes. Best decision I ever made was that my ex-H and I didn't own a house at the time of the divorce. No need to figure out who assumes debt or fight over property.
But some of them have been together five/seven/ten whole years! Obviously, they're going to make it!
The truth is, no one knows what's going to happen, whether you get married at 18 or 38. If you get married young, you just have to hope that the changing you do in your 20s lines up with the changes your partner goes through. But sweet baby jeebus, stop shouting about how you're the exception to the rule - you don't know that yet, and you won't know that until you're 80. Or divorced. Or your husband has a mid-life crisis and starts banging his secretary to make up for lost time. People who are that freaking defensive typically have a reason, you know?