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FWB update
Most of you saw my WTF about the FWB convo. We went to a flag football meet and greet and everyone thought he was my bf. I brought it up that way when we ha dinner after saying that it's like were more than FWB and more like dating. I said that I feel weird because I started this situation before I was ready to date but now I'm ready and what was going on. He asked, "Do we have to define things?" I said no and dropped it for a bit.
After dinner I said that I was just having a lot of fun with him lately and he said he was too. That was about it. I left a bit disappointed and went home.
I woke up this morning feeling better. I realized that he is a great guy and while he would be good to date, there are reasons why I didn't want to date him until now. Its been almost a year since I left XH and I realized that now I am really ready to date. I think I'm projecting him onto this because I'm having fun with him and he's well, available and were sleeping together.
I don't want to lose him as a friend, especially since my new apt is in his neighborhood and were playing football together. I'm going to let the issue rest, take a break from him until I stop having feelings that are only there because we hang out so much and revert back to how things were.
I realized that if he found someone to date I'd be happy for him and not jealous and that's very telling. Thanks for the advice.
ETA: To clarify, I think I'm going to back off on the non-FWB hanging out for a while and stick to FWB. We will already be seeing each other 1x a week for football with expected sweaty sexy time afterwards so that should be enough time together without feelings getting involved. If it's too much, I'll nix the FWB and just stay friends.
Re: FWB update
I'm glad you're feeling better today.So I'm not entirely clear from your post, did you decide to just move him into the friend only zone, or back to FWB?
Well at least you got it out there, even if it wasn't the reaction you wanted to hear. You now have a definition of what it actually is. FWB. That's it...he doesn't want more. So, I'm with you in that you need to take a break (which is difficult, trust me) and move along to someone who wants to date you and not just have fun.
This!
The key is to have fun without having your feelings hurt (either directly or indirectly). If you feel hurt in either scenario, it's time to cut ties all together.
I'm all for having fun as long as it is just that and you don't expect more.
I would, however, keep an eye out for guys you may want to date and want to date you....you deserve that if that's what you truly want. Then you can let the FWB go for good at that point.
Does any of this make sense? HA HA
Total sense, thank you. We both are looking to date other people so I guess we're sort of each others back ups. Sucks to think of it that way but it works for us, as long as my feelings aren't stil there next time I see him. Thanks for your input. And yes, we are very safe when we're together