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My lack of sex drive worries me
Hello. I'm new to this site and I'm writing to ask some advice about what I should do. I'm newly married (about 9 months or so) and I've been with MH for just shy of 7 years. We have a great marriage and are very happy, but our sex life is hurting because of me.
I have no sex drive whatsoever and I hate it. I want to want my husband again. When we do have sex, it's usually great and I almost always O. We are definitely sexually compatible, I just have no interest.
I am currently on NuvaRing and because I suffer with OCD/anxiety, I also take an antidepressant. I know these things can definitely diminish sex drive. Do any of you know of any BCPs that don't limit sex drive? On the antidepressant front, I know I'm kind of SOL.
I feel terrible about this and I feel like this could ruin my marriage if I don't figure out how to fix it. H is so supportive and he says that he understands and appreciates that I will do it anyway despite not really feeling like it.
I just feel like a failure and I realize that's probably silly to feel that way, but I just do.
TIA for your advice.
Re: My lack of sex drive worries me
i felt like i was reading a story about myself when i read your post. i have the exact same issue. i went to an internist who sent me to a counselor who suggested i get an anti depressant. i changed from the bc patch to the nuva ring at the same time i got on A-D and all of it just went downhill. i tried going to a psychiatrist (only a couple of times) to talk with them about meds but she suggested no meds if i was going to try to conceive which i want to do soon. later i went to a sex therapist. i did enjoy going to her( i sought a different therapist who specialized in sexual issues since i didn't feel like i was getting anywhere with my other counselor). my H and i got married just last month and with everything going on with the wedding i'm taking some time off, mainly because of the distance i have to drive and the financial aspect of it. i even went to a doctor who tested my hormone levels...i thought initally my estrogen was low but it was later determined that it was normal.
i would suggest finding a sex therapist. this would be more beneficial i think than going to your regular doctor. i've learned some valuable info from her which might seem pretty generic to some people but it was very interesting and encouraging for me. since i have gotten married i have been doing a little better. i think i'm determining that the general stresses of life have a big impact on you mentally, physically emotionally.....it affects some worse than others i think. the 2 weeks i took off work i actually felt normal...which is something i haven't felt for a long time. that did decline some when i came back to work, but still feel like i'm doing somewhat better. i also went for a time where i stopped taking my meds and i learned a valuable lesson which was NEVER DO THAT AGAIN!!
i am now off the nuva ring as i will be TTC whenever that happens. i did some online research and found that some anti-depressants are safe to take while TTC and during pregnancy so i'm back on meds. we will see how i start to feel in the future off the ring. i will also start back up with my therapy soon. i'm sorry this was so long but i wanted you to know that you are NOT ALONE! hang in there, do your part to be proactive, keep communicating with your H and you are going to be fine in the end. we both are!
Oh my goodness. I have the EXACT same problem. I could have written this myself. Have you found any solutions? P.S. I'm also on the Nuva Ring.
Would love to hear if you found anything that worked for you!