Married Life
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

Disclosing pregnancy in interviews

Do you think a woman is unethical/unprofessional if she doesn't disclose a non-visible pregnancy in an interview?

I am dumbfounded that any working woman would disagree that it is wise NOT to disclose so it can't be used against you, but apparently they exist (see UO thread on 12-24).

imageimage
«1

Re: Disclosing pregnancy in interviews

  • i read your second paragraph 4 times and i can't understand if you are FOR disclosing or against it. 

    lol

     

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I am against disclosing - it could easily be used against a candidate and is near impossible to prove discrimination.
    imageimage
  • No. AS a woman and mom in the work force I have enough working against me, lol. I'm not going to sabotage myself. 
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • It also puts your interviewer in an uncomfortable position. If they are a reputable HR professional, they know not to ask, and that they are liable for using that information against you. If you voluntarily disclose, you put them in the lurch. 

    image
  • wblwbl member
    imagebabubhatt:

    i read your second paragraph 4 times and i can't understand if you are FOR disclosing or against it. 

    lol

     

    Haha, thanks for asking this.  I couldn't figure it out either :)

     

  • imagebabubhatt:

    i read your second paragraph 4 times and i can't understand if you are FOR disclosing or against it. 

    lol

     

    Whew - I thought it was just me who suffered reading comprehension.

    As to the OP, it is not allowed for the interviewer to ask about anything of a personal nature, which includes pregnancy, however, if someone chooses to share that they are newly pregnant, they very well could be setting themselves up to stay unemployed.  So many states are "right-to-work" these days, and companies are really good at coming up with any excuse not to hire or to let someone go these days.  Of course, these companies also know there is no lack of employable people out there.

    Kinda on the same vein, the plant where I am contracted at has been cleaning house big time these past couple of months.  Anyone who is just going through the motions of working is getting kicked to the curb.

    Anniversary
  • I wish people could and would disclose, but I get and respect that they won't/can't because of the chance of discrimination.

    This is going to be a VERY unpopular opinion, but I feel like if I had done the hiring (which can be a very difficult job and finding the right candidate very challenging) and then found out... I feel like I'd be annoyed at that person forever. Would it be fair, not at all; would it be in my head all the time, probably yes.

     

    image
    Yeah that's right my name's Yauch!
  • Absolutely not, what is going on or not going on in my uterus is no one's business but my own.
  • No.  Only disclose it after an offer is made and signed.

    image
    You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you. My Blog
  • imagelaptopprancer:

    I wish people could and would disclose, but I get and respect that they won't/can't because of the chance of discrimination.

    This is going to be a VERY unpopular opinion, but I feel like if I had done the hiring (which can be a very difficult job and finding the right candidate very challenging) and then found out... I feel like I'd be annoyed at that person forever. Would it be fair, not at all; would it be in my head all the time, probably yes.

     

    And I can understand this perspective.  But the key here is that you then think about it and recognize that the woman has been put into the position of having to decide whether or not to disclose because there are scenarios in which it would be used against her.

    Sorry for the confusion in the OP guys!

    imageimage
  • I would not disclose. Unless the timing (of maternity leave) would interfere with a major work project or if I knew I would be incapable of performing key functions.


    hi.
  • wblwbl member
    imagelaptopprancer:

    I wish people could and would disclose, but I get and respect that they won't/can't because of the chance of discrimination.

    This is going to be a VERY unpopular opinion, but I feel like if I had done the hiring (which can be a very difficult job and finding the right candidate very challenging) and then found out... I feel like I'd be annoyed at that person forever. Would it be fair, not at all; would it be in my head all the time, probably yes.

     

    Yes, I can see this as well.  I interviewed for a job while pregnant, but I was like 199 months pregnant, so there was no doubt about my status.  But I do think it could be hard for a place because you know you're going to take at least 6 weeks off in the not-too-distant future and if they have hired you for a crticial position, it could be hard for them to cover.  On the other hand, there probably aren't that many jobs like that around, so I'm still not in favor of disclosure.  I guess it's a case by case basis.

  • I go back and forth on this. I get it from a women's lib perspective and at my current job, I' would have had no qualms not disclosing because they can cover for me easily. At my last job though, I was the only one on my team with my skill set so it really would have left them in a lurch. However, it wouldn't have mattered when - so if I took 6 weeks after being there for 8 months or 6 weeks after being there for 2 years, the same lurch is there.
    image
  • No, I would not disclose it unless it would hinder me from doing the essential job functions
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I would probably discose it in an interview, but thats because If I changed jobs it most likely would be within the same company. And I agree with whoever said that they would look at the person different if they hired them and found out later they are pregnant, it would suck to hire someone for 6 months, then have to hire someone else for the year they are on mat leave.
  • No way would I tell. 

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • I don't think you should disclose. Why does it matter if u r not showing. 
    Daisypath Vacation tickers
  • imagealynne1113:
    I would probably discose it in an interview, but thats because If I changed jobs it most likely would be within the same company. And I agree with whoever said that they would look at the person different if they hired them and found out later they are pregnant, it would suck to hire someone for 6 months, then have to hire someone else for the year they are on mat leave.

    I think this is a Canada specific problem with the year long maternity leave.

    It does leave women at a real disadvantage though. Suppose you find a job that would further your career and you just happen to be 6 weeks along and you disclose because they don't want to fill your position. You could theoretically have to wait 1 year and 8 months for that same position if it were to even open up. That's insane to me (but then a year maternity leave is also hard for me to wrap my brain around so there's that too). 

    image
  • imagealynne1113:
    I would probably discose it in an interview, but thats because If I changed jobs it most likely would be within the same company. And I agree with whoever said that they would look at the person different if they hired them and found out later they are pregnant, it would suck to hire someone for 6 months, then have to hire someone else for the year they are on mat leave.

    In the US you have to be employed for a period of 1 year to even be eligible for federally protected leave, which tops out at 12 weeks, unpaid. So they could legally be replaced at that point - it's not repercussion free. Hopefully if they had demonstrated themselves as a good employee they would be allowed to return.

    imageimage
  • I will say I was a lot more open minded to the plight of the employer (a la laptop's POV) until I got obliterated by my own employer's response to my pregnancy.

    Now I'm much more militant about it. Women have enough happy horseshit up against them in the workplace and I'll be damned if I don't look out for myself first. And if that means doing what it takes to get a job, then so be it.

    image
  • imageJaylea:

    imagealynne1113:
    I would probably discose it in an interview, but thats because If I changed jobs it most likely would be within the same company. And I agree with whoever said that they would look at the person different if they hired them and found out later they are pregnant, it would suck to hire someone for 6 months, then have to hire someone else for the year they are on mat leave.

    In the US you have to be employed for a period of 1 year to even be eligible for federally protected leave, which tops out at 12 weeks, unpaid. So they could legally be replaced at that point - it's not repercussion free. Hopefully if they had demonstrated themselves as a good employee they would be allowed to return.

     

    Holy crap.

     For me, my holidays acrue while on mat leave, so really, I could take my year mat leave, with my 4 weeks holidays to start and my four weeks to end, and take 1 yr 8 weeks off and still be guarunteed my job and being paid full pay for 8 weeks and 55% for the year. 12 weeks seems like so little time to me.

  • imagealynne1113:

    Holy crap.

     For me, my holidays acrue while on mat leave, so really, I could take my year mat leave, with my 4 weeks holidays to start and my four weeks to end, and take 1 yr 8 weeks off and still be guarunteed my job and being paid full pay for 8 weeks and 55% for the year. 12 weeks seems like so little time to me.

    Yeah. And those of us at small companies (less than 50 employees in a certain radius) are not covered at all. So if I get pregnant, I may be just let go.

    imageimage
  • What benefit does them knowing have? They know that in no more than 9 months you are going to be given a certain amount of time off that they have no control over?

    Would you disclose to a possible employer at an interview in April that you will be taking a few days off around Christmas for vacation? 

    No you wouldn't, so why would you tell them that you will require maternity leave in 9 months? Same concept, different scenario. 

    If you were due within the first 3 months of employment I would assume that you were showing and that you would disclose because of this.  The first 90 days are usually a probationary period with most company's and you might not be on medical coverage (if needed) by that time either. 

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • i can see wanting to disclose for "don't be pissed at me" reasons, but damn.  i wouldn't tell anyone under like 15 weeks for certain.  A) you never know, and B) we're screwed enough already getting paid like 80 cents on the dollar.  f them.
    kiss it, nest.
  • sonrisasonrisa member
    Ancient Membership Combo Breaker

    It depends on the circumstance.

    imagelaptopprancer:
    This is going to be a VERY unpopular opinion, but I feel like if I had done the hiring (which can be a very difficult job and finding the right candidate very challenging) and then found out... I feel like I'd be annoyed at that person forever. Would it be fair, not at all; would it be in my head all the time, probably yes. 
    This is what I would fear.

     If *I* were pregnant now, I would probably disclose because (1) we don't need me to be bringing in an income right now (2) I'm only applying for absolute dream jobs since I have parttime work that is fine. There are only so many places that do what I want. I wouldn't want to create ill will or burn bridges. Even if they didn't hire me I'd hope to be on their radar the next time they were hiring. (3) if you are new to the job, you probably don't qualify for maternity leave and you don't qualify for FMLA leave if you need it. I would want to negotiate up front about how it would be handled.


  • imageemjacobs13:

    What benefit does them knowing have? They know that in no more than 9 months you are going to be given a certain amount of time off that they have no control over?

    Would you disclose to a possible employer at an interview in April that you will be taking a few days off around Christmas for vacation? 

    No you wouldn't, so why would you tell them that you will require maternity leave in 9 months? Same concept, different scenario. 

    If you were due within the first 3 months of employment I would assume that you were showing and that you would disclose because of this.  The first 90 days are usually a probationary period with most company's and you might not be on medical coverage (if needed) by that time either. 

    I disagree that a few days off during Christmas time is anything remotely like maternity leave whatsoever.  If you are still breastfeeding Santa nine months after Christmas I think you've got other issues of unemployability.

     

    image
    Yeah that's right my name's Yauch!
  • sonrisasonrisa member
    Ancient Membership Combo Breaker
    imagelaptopprancer:
     If you are still breastfeeding Santa nine months after Christmas 
    I only breast feed Santa when he is wearing the vampire cloak from GOZF's gif.
  • imagelaptopprancer:
    imageemjacobs13:

    What benefit does them knowing have? They know that in no more than 9 months you are going to be given a certain amount of time off that they have no control over?

    Would you disclose to a possible employer at an interview in April that you will be taking a few days off around Christmas for vacation? 

    No you wouldn't, so why would you tell them that you will require maternity leave in 9 months? Same concept, different scenario. 

    If you were due within the first 3 months of employment I would assume that you were showing and that you would disclose because of this.  The first 90 days are usually a probationary period with most company's and you might not be on medical coverage (if needed) by that time either. 

    I disagree that a few days off during Christmas time is anything remotely like maternity leave whatsoever.  If you are still breastfeeding Santa nine months after Christmas I think you've got other issues of unemployability.

     

    Except your employer could give two sh!ts less that you are bf'ing, as far as your pregnancy affects them it is time that you will be out of the office.  Its a "vacation", therefor your Christmas vacation is actually very similar. Maybe a few days is the wrong term, but if you take a few weeks to go to Cancun its similar. 

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • imageemjacobs13:
    imagelaptopprancer:
    imageemjacobs13:

    What benefit does them knowing have? They know that in no more than 9 months you are going to be given a certain amount of time off that they have no control over?

    Would you disclose to a possible employer at an interview in April that you will be taking a few days off around Christmas for vacation? 

    No you wouldn't, so why would you tell them that you will require maternity leave in 9 months? Same concept, different scenario. 

    If you were due within the first 3 months of employment I would assume that you were showing and that you would disclose because of this.  The first 90 days are usually a probationary period with most company's and you might not be on medical coverage (if needed) by that time either. 

    I disagree that a few days off during Christmas time is anything remotely like maternity leave whatsoever.  If you are still breastfeeding Santa nine months after Christmas I think you've got other issues of unemployability.

     

    Except your employer could give two sh!ts less that you are bf'ing, as far as your pregnancy affects them it is time that you will be out of the office.  Its a "vacation", therefor your Christmas vacation is actually very similar. Maybe a few days is the wrong term, but if you take a few weeks to go to Cancun its similar. 

    how long are your vacations because my trip to Cabo was 10 days compared to the 15 weeks I took for maternity leave. Not quite the same.

    hi.
  • sonrisasonrisa member
    Ancient Membership Combo Breaker

    imageemjacobs13:
    Except your employer could give two sh!ts less that you are bf'ing, as far as your pregnancy affects them it is time that you will be out of the office.  Its a "vacation", therefor your Christmas vacation is actually very similar. Maybe a few days is the wrong term, but if you take a few weeks to go to Cancun its similar.  
    Em, have you birthed a child? I don't mean this as a snarky question.Birthing a kid and Christmas vacation are very different.

    Most employers give limited vacation and sick time which must be accrued. After 6 months at most jobs you are lucky if you've accrued 2 weeks of vacation and sick time total. Two weeks after going into the hospital for delivery, many women are in no condition to return to work. If you have an extended labor and throw in a c-section (a pretty common occurrence) returning to work in a timely fashion would be almost impossible.

    On the flip side, I can't imagine most employers signing off on a two week holiday to Cancun after just half a year.  I've had to pull teeth to get two days off at Christmas after four months on a job.

    Perhaps you have particularly good vacation policies at your work.

Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards